The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Previous thread

How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

Mine refused to agree to the word adultary.... But was ok with 'affair' 🤣🤔😩 cockwomble

Had to go down the unreasonable behaviour route but managed to get him having an affair in as one of the reasons

He can deny the allegations as much as he likes, no judge will deny you your divorce Polly.

You could always threaten to subpoena his first two wives and see what they have to say about his behaviour too.... bet that shuts him up.

Back to barely sleeping again. Tossed and turned. Woke up every 2 hours for an hour.

Libel or slander? So he thinks he’s completely in the clear, basically, and this is all in my head?

Do I need to amend it or just let it go through? I’m not paying my solicitors fees to change it. Because it’s all true. And it was the kind version! Is this what it’s going to be like, a constant rollercoaster?

Going to grab my laptop and a cuppa and watch Bridgerton in bed listening to the rain.

@StuckInPollyannaMode

On the advice of my SHL, I went down the Unreasonable Behaviour route and kept it very VERY simple and listed stuff he just could not argue with. Like not attending school events. Not allowing access to money.

I had to detach from all the anger and emotion I was feeling. I did insert the word controlling which he objected to, so did have to change that... but the rest went through. Tbh, it’s only the two of you, the SHLs and Court who see this anyway.

If he’s doing this for the third time, you’d think he’d be more sensible and keep costs low and not expect you to change stuff like this. There’s still a way to go...

(Have you agreed to split legal costs 50/50? That might concentrate his mind on what’s worth fighting about and what’s not)

I have divorced my husband recently on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, all 5 reasons were true and I was also quite tame in what I said in case he showed our teenage daughter.

When my husband got the divorce papers online he had 3 options - Agree to the reasons and agree the divorce, disageee with the reasons but agree to divorce or dispute all including divorce.

My husband did the 2nd but it doesnt really matter because unreasonable behaviour is subjective to the petitioner so what one person finds acceptable behaviour another one might not.
Judges do not refuse divorces on unreasonable behaviour.

The case someone else mentioned that was in the papers was refused because she said her husband was not unreasonable and she just didnt want to be married to him and she didnt want to wait 5 years to divorce. That was not permitted but we do now have no fault divorce going through Parliament and I think we were due to get them this year.

Do not change the wording of the divorce. His solicitors will have told him that contesting the reasons will cost a lot of money and wont change anything.

Hope your walk went well last night.

Don't bother changing your petition. It's YOUR petition and his views of it are not your concern. My ExH went mental when he got mine (even though it was barely the tip of the iceberg on his abusive behaviour), because in his view he was blameless and not unreasonable at all .

Take a deep breath, sit it out and try not to worry about it too much. You've put the wheels in motion and that's the only thing that matters.

A friend of mine put it well - "You've thrown the grenade - people are going to get hurt."

Divorce is always horrible. The only advice I can give is to ignore all the reactive behaviour on his part - including unnecessary, expensive, time-wasting lawyers letters. The only thing that matters is your divorce settlement. He will continue to cause as much aggro as he can, and then it will be over.

Be very kind to yourself. Your battle has commenced.

^^ this. It's your petition you views and he will be on a hiding to nothing if he tries to change it. Disengage, grey rock and continue to be the fabulous fucker you are. You've got this!

The fact that he doesn’t see the truth in your reasons is just another example of his unreasonable behaviour - it would be weirder if he’d suddenly put his hands up to being a complete twunt and agreed with them!

Don’t fret yourself, it won’t make any difference to your new freedom or happy future where he’s just a sideline. You started down the road to finding him ridiculous and being able to laugh at him the day you nicknamed him Gellar, I feel like maybe that’s a coping tactic that will work well for you going forward?

thread filling up Polly,

Hope you’re doing ok Polly

Sorry if I missed it (or you don't want to say) but what does the petition say?

New thread here folks!

Thread 3 - thanks for sticking with me

F