The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Previous thread

How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

@Ihavethesecret I agree. What would be really helpful and more welcoming on these in joke/cliquey threads is maybe a one liner in the top post that says what the thread is for, e.g. support, general chat etc. I had to ask recently what the AD thread was. I spent ages thinking it was a support thread for autistic people so didn't go anywhere near it but then found it was actually an anti dementors thread where people just did nice chit chat!

There is a link to the previous thread at the very top of the opening post. How much more info does someone need?

Anyway, loving the title op, and I agree, perky is suspicious. He thinks he's won, probably because you haven't told him no on his scroll of doom. Ah well, sucks to be him!

So is this thread a support thread for one person ie the OP rather than a generic one? The previous thread doesn't make it obvious but I'm assuming it is. Hope things go well OP.

Hi @StuckInPollyannaMode! It’s awfully hot here where I live. (And humid) We had two days of rain which was magic and now the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife!

@DrDetriment I'm divorcing my husband. It's not a joke to me, trust me. The title is a reference to the way the previous thread ran. Which is linked in my opening post to this thread.

Not wishing to get into a spat by any means, and I hope things go well for you too.

Btw...I think you will eventually begin to feel like your old room was more of a prison than a sanctuary. Your perspectives will change over time a lot!

To those arsey posters who have just popped in to be rude - if you don’t like a thread or a title, just scroll on by. Other threads / boards and indeed websites are available.

HTH

@DrDetriment this is Relationships. Isn't it most likely that a thread in Relationships is likely to be about someone's relationship rather than cliquey chit chat? Just because you missed getting involved in the first thread, it doesn't mean that it is cliquey.

As a pp has said, the link to the first thread is right there. At least read the OPs posts on that thread and you will get the idea ie this is about someone's real life, no clique, some very amusing themes and, as it's Mumsnet, an amusing thread title to make it easy to find the second thread for those who have read, posted on or followed the first thread.

Just wanted to say you’re amazing op, I’ve been lurking since October and thought I should now say hi! Agree with pp, write a message back from Santa saying everything will work out just great. Fingers crossed SHL comes back with something fantastic re: the 7 pages of doom

ihavethesecret needs to rethink her username, apparently...

Absolutely love the new title OP .
Sending hugs and best wishes to you , you're doing great , your ex sounds so much like my ex I can hear him saying things in the same way as yours .

Oh GOD.

Someone has badly scraped the back of the bloody lease car in 3 different places, fuck know how, and driven off.

I hate my life right now. I've got Himself huffing and puffing and on bloody ENDLESS tuneless choir rehearsals, a house to pack, clients to manage, kids to jolly along, dinner to cook, lifemin to sort, a solicitor to chase on the house, fucking COVID restrictions, no answer from SHL except for her OOO, presents to wrap...all I want to do is lie on the sofa for a day watching crap on Netflix.

Just come down from being on a call and he's killed the fire so it's gone out. Just another fucking job for me to sort out because he's such an IDIOT that he put half a tree onto embers. No wonder it's gone out.

I"m going to go for a walk and a rant and wail. Let him try to fix the fire.

You know what? Years ago, whilst pissed, I told a friend of mine that I'd settled.

I was right. I did settle, so I could have kids. And this is where that leads you. Stuck in a house listening to endless fucking throat clearing and hoHOhoHOhoooo'ing, with a pending divorce and no more firelighters.

Merry fucking Christmas, folks.

You deserve to stomp!

Go and have a good old stomp. Do some colourful swearing. Then think about Christmas 2021 and how different it's going to be without him.

Have a good stomp

Oh god, stomping for miles helped me keep my sanity and got me out of my marriage and through my divorce. The angry emails I wrote in my head, mostly unsent. Mostly.

Go and stomp!

Stomp away, remember you are no longer settling now, and keep in mind he probably has many flammable things you could use as kindling. Maybe print out his scroll of doom and use that. In front of him. While smiling. And if nothing else, gin will keep you warm :)

Hi OP,
I've just read the whole lot of your posts.
I am so sorry you are going through this hell.
But wow, this is so good to read - for me a complete stranger on the internet. Your writing is great, by turns gripping, heart-wrenching, and hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing, and I wish you every good luck, and as peaceful a Christmas as possible in the circumstances.

As an aside, my mother was incredibly sad to leave her lovely garden when she had to downsize, but in the end she realised that the new one was like a blank canvas, and it would give her hours of pleasure to create a brand new garden, instead of just maintaining the old mature garden. There is so much for you to look forward to when you eventually settle in a new permanent home, whenever that may be.

On the bright side... maybe he’ll burn himself!

Oh @justilou1 that did make me laugh!

@Beancounter1 thank you. And that’s actually a really good point about having a new garden. I hope your mother enjoyed the results of her planning.

You’re all right. I need to think about next year. Eyes on the bigger prize.

I had a talk with the children this morning about their note, reassured them a lot and they seem much happier. I said they could choose whether to leave the note out tonight so Daddy could find it and talk to them, or just talk to me, and they said me.

Does anybody know if P60s include car allowances? Or are they just on salary and bonuses? I can’t quite work out how it gets to the figure it gets to...

Oh - next next year he’ll finish paying maintenance for my stepdaughter. Does that mean the maintenance for our two will increase? If so, by how much? Can’t quite figure it out.

I’m on the lime and soda trying to detangle paperwork whilst giggling at Yes Prime Minister.

If you go on the gov website and find the child maint calculator I think it might tell you there.

I'm not sure if it will make a difference as his child isn't living with him.

Yes it will go up because the maintenance will be split over 2 children instead of 3 so you should get more but only if he pays for his eldest via CMS, not sure if it's a private arrangement?

Hi OP. You are amazing!
If you need car allowance etc its on a form called P11D, comes at the same time as a P60.

I haven’t been able to stop crying today. I’m just so sad.

It’s all getting a bit real and scary now. He’s refusing to do any packing, it’s all on me. It’s just going to be a shit Christmas with him moping around and there’s only so many walks I can do. He’s coming back in an hour and the thought of getting through the next four weeks just...I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.

Curled up in front of the fire with the kids and have a hot chocolate and Christmas Prince Netflix bollocks on.