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Original poster

The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

964 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 15/12/2020 05:46

Previous thread

How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
C0NNIE · 13/01/2021 21:59

@Daftapath

I would recommend that if in doubt about whether to take something, take it!

He isn't going to divorce easily, no doubt he will argue every penny so get what you can now. I bitterly regret being so generous to xh with what I gave him when he left. He has now replaced most things with all the money he is sitting on whilst I am struggling and could do with lots of the things back!

This is great advice.

Lots of random household items actually cost a lot to replace. All that stuff you don’t think about in the loft / shed / basement / cupboards.

billy1966 · 13/01/2021 22:11

@frazzledasarock
Great post.

I agree.
Great advice above...
He is going to try and screw you in the divorce.
Take anything and everything that was ever useful to you in the kitchen/house.
All the little bits that make cooking easier for you.

I'm sorry but he's an awful father.
Truly dreadful.
Take as much that you can get away with and don't look back.

Think of it as making the lives of your girls more comfortable and settled.
Flowers

ByeByeMissAmericanPie · 13/01/2021 22:59

Yup. Get the magimix/ kitchen aid/ plug in chopper thingy. Saucepans. Frying pan. Any decent kitchen knives. Decent chopping board. Baking tins. Cupcake trays. Tea towels. Your favourite mugs. The tea pot!
Coffee pot, too. Or a espresso machine.

Oh look! I’ve almost listed everything I forgot to take when I moved out.

#dontbelikemissamericanpie

MotherofTerriers · 13/01/2021 23:07

Yes, definitely take any decent kitchen kit. And any pricy food ingredients. Leave him a bucket though....

REignbow · 13/01/2021 23:13

Yep, take all kitchen gadgets (only if used once by you), pricey food ingredients and also everyday ingredients (as even replacing them, will cost money)!

Daftapath · 13/01/2021 23:57

Also, decent glasses (especially wine glasses and for gin!) and crockery! Linens. Medicines. Electronics.

I managed to keep all the posh crockery, canteen of cutlery and glass wear. Don't think he has twigged yet but it's too late now! Grin

katmarie · 14/01/2021 07:34

If you have any wavering doubts about what to take and what to leave, just remember all the times you worried over money because you thought you had none, while he was squirreling away his half a mil pension. Without telling you. While letting you worry. That would be enough for me to clean the place out.

justilou1 · 14/01/2021 07:47

I would be just mean enough to leave him one of everything. One knife, one fork, one spoon, one wine glass, etc.... Just to remind him that he is going to be living alone, and you are going to swan off and live happily ever after with your girls and an active social life, with friends who love you (and probably an adoring new bloke one day when you're ready), and all he will have is his precioussssssssssssss......

callmeadoctor · 14/01/2021 07:57

@justilou1

I would be just mean enough to leave him one of everything. One knife, one fork, one spoon, one wine glass, etc.... Just to remind him that he is going to be living alone, and you are going to swan off and live happily ever after with your girls and an active social life, with friends who love you (and probably an adoring new bloke one day when you're ready), and all he will have is his precioussssssssssssss......
Genius!!!!!!!!
goody2shooz · 14/01/2021 08:09

What @katmarie said....DEFINITELY!

DartmoorDoughnut · 14/01/2021 09:33

One more sleep until freedoooooooom!

C0NNIE · 14/01/2021 09:42

Tools ( house and garden )
DIY stuff like painting equipment and dust sheets
Ladders
Boxes of Christmas decorations
Suitcases

C0NNIE · 14/01/2021 09:43

Garden furniture

frazzledasarock · 14/01/2021 10:01

At this point go through each room throwing everything into boxes and label the boxes, living room, garden, garden shed etc

If in doubt take it, if you don't want it you can sell it or give it to charity but you then wont miss out anything essential.

Almost there.

Mix56 · 14/01/2021 10:40

Step ladder, secateurs, tools, (screw driver, pliers etc.)shovel, lawn mower ? bikes, dustpan, broom, mop,
All the under sink cleaning stuff
As much bed linen, duvets, pillows, towels, tea towels, swimming towels as you can carry.

Is he going to be at home tomorrow as you leave?
Honestly if he could just man up for once, it would be better for everyone, especially for the girls, if he could go & read a book in a car park & do you a final gesture of being a decent human being by not being there to squabble over who's bathmat is who's infront of the children

MangoBiscuit · 14/01/2021 12:08

@Daftapath

I would recommend that if in doubt about whether to take something, take it!

He isn't going to divorce easily, no doubt he will argue every penny so get what you can now. I bitterly regret being so generous to xh with what I gave him when he left. He has now replaced most things with all the money he is sitting on whilst I am struggling and could do with lots of the things back!

Good advice! Similar situation here. Ex wanted to keep the marital home, and I wanted out. We agreed to leave our DDs rooms untouched so they were the same when they were with him. This included me leaving furniture that was mine since before we married, and having to buy all new for our new house. Ex wasted no time in throwing it out and replacing it with stuff to make room for OW's kids, as he moved them all in before he'd even bought me out. Hmm
Boonlark · 14/01/2021 12:27

Yes to taking the things you're going to need. But also be aware that he may later claim that some of the things you took were his. Just ignore if that happens. They often reach a stage where they want to take anything from you that you can, and if you're nice, they see it as a sign of weakness,and ask for more Hmm

frazzledasarock · 14/01/2021 12:35

Pah if he asks for things back either ignore, tell him you’ve no idea what he means or ask him for a final list along with receipts of all these things he says he had and you’ll go through the list and then chuck it and if he chases say you haven’t got anything.

Ex did this I kept everything I’d bought (which was tools), he demanded I return his property to him I asked for receipts for his property that I allegedly had. The matter was swiftly dropped as it was my word against his and he hadn’t paid for a single item.
It was (mostly) only smaller things I kept he took the big tools before I found my wrath.

But definitely take anything and everything.

timeisnotaline · 14/01/2021 12:38

@Boonlark

Yes to taking the things you're going to need. But also be aware that he may later claim that some of the things you took were his. Just ignore if that happens. They often reach a stage where they want to take anything from you that you can, and if you're nice, they see it as a sign of weakness,and ask for more Hmm
This is true but he will prob do that anyway so you may as well have a rusty grater, spare bar heater and faded sheets to hand back looking regretful before you skip off into the sunset while he celebrates having got one over you.
Ohalrightthen · 14/01/2021 12:39

I've been thinking of you and your girls all morning, humming "one day more" from Les Mis and skimming the lists here of things you should take...

Personally i think you should take the new Hoover. Just to really stick the knife in.

MotherofTerriers · 14/01/2021 13:16

Oh I'd leave him the new hoover, but accidentally pack any attachments it came with

Ohalrightthen · 14/01/2021 13:20

@MotherofTerriers

Oh I'd leave him the new hoover, but accidentally pack any attachments it came with
YES ive changed my mind, do this
Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/01/2021 13:28

Packing at full tilt.

Dismantled the wardrobes and oh, such a shame, I don’t know where half the screws and bolts went...the others are there...

Taking as much as I can.

Kids holding up. I’m absolutely exhausted. Now on autopilot.

In good news, he’s actually sent me a sensible email re child maintenance - his solicitor sure has put him straight - it actually makes sense! He’s paying what he should plus a couple of extra bits.

No wonder he’s been in a foul mood the past couple of days 😂

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/01/2021 13:31

When is he moving out?

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/01/2021 13:44

Next Friday - I’ll have to bring the kids here for homeschool next week, I’ve no broadband - so can clear out the freezer etc then if I don’t get to it today. Not the end of the world, just need to get 90% done

I can’t get to his hoover, but I’ve taken all the kindling and the firelighters!

If anyone needs a laugh and has an Alexa, then ask her to sing a duet with Ed Sheeran 🤣

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