The One Where Ross Has To Figure Out Clingfilm

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

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How’s that for a title?!

Well, I’ve done a deal on the car. Actually it drives very nicely. I can see it’s practical. And it’s not an old banger.

It’s not very me. But it is sensible, and sensible I must be.

Actually got some kip last night. 9-5.

How’s everyone else doing? Justilou is it warm in Oz? One of my best friends lives there and I haven’t seen her for too long. RandomMess have you managed to have a better night / find out when you’re going home?

I haven’t told him about handing it over to the solicitor and no mediation on Friday yet. Waiting for the notes and financial summery from the mediator first. Hopefully today.

Tomorrow will mainly be randomly throwing stuff into boxes to sort at the other end.

Whoever asked how far away the houses are from each other, about 5 miles....

Just to add to the stress, will need to catch the cat, who is being a little shit at the moment.

DD1 had a massive meltdown tonight. I don’t blame her. Feel like having one myself.

If you need to pass on homeschooling this week do not sweat it!!!

Moving alone is a huge stress plus the DC knowing you will be living apart. Their and your mental health trumps "education".

DD2 could probably operate ok on her own, and with me.

You have to recognise you cannot literally stop working again – that’s not fair on you. I’m more than happy to sit and be with them for blocks of time, but what I can’t do is handle DD1 throwing stuff around and stomping off

So we have to decide what to do. DD2 comes to me every day?

He's saying he will stay in the house and buy me out, and wants me to suggest how he could do this

Also, he spoke to his divorce solicitor yesterday afternoon, so was in an absolutely foul mood when I was practically on my knees after a long day of home schooling. Apparently he is going to make me a 'proposal' about child maintenance*

Is he planning to suggest that he takes and keeps DD2 because she's easier, whilst you have DD1?

I have no helpful comments xx except you keep going xx I had my head bashed in, my daughter has helped me loads xx you go go girl xx And Bob is actually my uncle. I wasnnt stabbed only kicked. Nothing major. Im slow, not stupid. yet. You keep going girl xx sorry x trying still xx you keep on keeping on xx You have no idea yet about how strong you are, can be, will be x keep going xx

I did this on my own just wanted to add my thing. dont know the words

every day, we get bettttter and bettttter x we do. you do.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I bloody hope not! He was up late last night tapping away, so I was half expecting an email to wake up to, but nothing (so far)

Yes I did one set with rooting powder and one without. Ah well. Yes, I still have time, but now have more urgent priorities

In exciting bedding news, a very dear friend is desperate to buy me a housewarming present. She's very insistent! I have sent her links to this and www.wayfair.co.uk/textiles-bedding/pdp/belledorm-grace-200-thread-count-duvet-cover-set-aajr1022.html this (in the pink)

I have spoken to Mortgage Man and I can't apply for a mortgage until I have maintenance paid for 3 months and the finances sorted. So that's the pressure off til after Easter anyway.

Both DDs slept in bed with me last night. Got a bit cosy at 4.30 so I got up and came into one of their beds. I love the way they smell. How do they smell of biscuits and love even though they've had baths and hair washes before bed?!

My two always end up in bed with me, I don’t know why they smell so edible but you’re right biscuits and love

Hope the house sale goes ahead (assuming it’s an issue at the buyers end?) and Geller fucks off quietly and your jasmine magically starts sprouting. If it doesn’t I have a gorgeous one called clotted cream which I love and definitely recommend when you get settled.

@StuckInPollyannaMode I'm getting so excited for you to have your own front door ,it's the best feeling. That bedding set is beautiful,I can imagine it on your bed with big cream throws and blankets in pale pink just lovely.
My ex never allowed the kids in bed with us as they made a mess and wriggled so I make the most of it with my granddaughter , we have biscuits and drinks in bed and watch tv when she stays over .she loves snuggling with mama and ganda.
It's not long now for you ,I check every day to see how you're doing,you are doing so well your strength is amazing 🤩

So close polly! Friday, yes?

Two more sleeps!!!

Oo love the bedding. Fab choice! I know your friend is buying you this, but also have a look at homesense (home department of tx max), as I’ve often bought excellent quality stuff at the fraction of the price that you see in John Lewis.

My eldest (similar age), has melt downs and it stems from anxiety with her. There is a lot of change, so it’s bound to effect behaviour. Saying that, Geller is an arse...but as from tomorrow. Not. Your. Problem!

You're so close and he's getting increasingly desperate.

Couple more days of ignoring his nonsense and you'll be free and have a vat of gin to celebrate.

Biscuits and love is a fab way of describing how they smell. I confuse ds by kissing the top of his head and he wonders why I do it there because surely it's a bit weird with his hair there 😁. To be honest he's going to be too tall for it before much longer so I'm carrying on while I can in the knowledge that why sometimes I express my love to him (by doing that) is far too complicated to explain. Your girls feel safe with you and things will be so much more relaxed once you've moved. You've got this, not long to go now.

He is so accustomed to you placating him and making him feel “normal” that he thinks that is how the world works. Must be an enormous shock to discover that the world doesn’t work that way. His whole reality is crumbling around his ears. You’re leaving, the house sale is falling through, he won’t be able to afford his Barbie Dream House, (that you are selfishly unwilling to help decorate, btw) you’re off with the girls and won’t accept the pittance he’s telling you that he thinks you should be able to live on. You’re displaying irrational reluctance to housing him until he gets his shit together and gets everything perfect for Victim/Mrs Geller no 4. In other words, he’s been divorced for a very long time already - from reality.

Holy shit! Have read through both your threads over the last few days and have to say well done for not only holding it together through all that but for seeing the light and getting away from him.

He sounds like a complete control freak with a very fragile ego. It's apparent from what you've said that he sees the looming divorce as a reflection of failure on his part, instead of being a grown up and realising its the best thing. His abject failure to think of his children over himself shows this clearly. His ego is taking a kicking as he'll be a triple divorced failure, and he can do nothing to control it so hes just lashing out. All his 'proposals' and 'we'll have to do this together' are just ways to try and regain control.

Seems he's not self aware enough to realise what he's actually like, which seems a common train in a lot of arseholes. Assure yourself that he's just got an cnutish personality and he'll never change. Never.

You will have the very best life in your new home with your girls and I wish you every happiness

Just finished clearing the girls room. Deserve an entire jeroboam of vino. Utter pigsty!

New Years resolution needs to be less tat.

They’ve spent the day killing each other. Gellar has spent the day clutching his head and declaring it’s all too much for him.

@Ohalrightthen yes FRIDAY!!!

Will check out homesense, thank you @REignbow

I just bought a bin from Argos. Living the dream 🤣

Issue was at our end, I’ve had to drop by £4K but it’s going through. Everything crossed. Small price to pay, but he’s all doom and gloom, despite having done sweet FA to get it through.

@justilou1 ‘he’s been divorced for a long time - from reality’ made me HOWL!!!

He won’t change @JustinOtherdad - you’re right.

It's all about him isn't it? No concerns that it's too much for his children or if it might have been too much for you before getting to the point of leaving.

Good luck for Friday, better things await you and your children.

Christ he's a professional moaner....
well done You, 4k money well spent if the sale goes through & he doesnt end up dicking you about "buying you out" You can just imagine the dragging of feet & whingeing....
One more full day to get through....

@ComeCovidCloser he hasn’t cut me or the kids any slack, he couldn’t care less about us. He’s just concerned I won’t be ready to leave on time.

Thinking I might drunk pack the pantry later. At least it’ll be a surprise when I unpack it again!

Underneath it he's actually not only selfish but unkind

Yep totally divorced from reality.

Your friends have done mor to help the DC by helping you than him. What a stellar father he is - not.

Itv you think about it the £4K drop is still pretty good in that you’re still within the stamp duty exemption period. So hopefully you’ll still be better off financially.

When I got divorced I had very little money but spent loads on brandalley on new bedding and blankets. My girls used to sleep in my bed too. It’s really weird I remember the early time after my divorce (and the incessant being dragged back to court by ex) as a really awful time. My girls remember it as the best time. With picnics on the living room floor (meals made up of whatever we had in the freezer), cakes (I took up baking as it calmed me), lots of eating out (I used to buy a portion of chips and we’d share them on they way back from could contact or I’d buy them hot chocolate and a packet of the small biscuits at Millys cookies). I asked my girls recently if they ever felt they missed out on things as I had so little money at the time. Both girls remember a very different version of the past from me. According to them life was brilliant and cosy and I was a lot of fun (I wasn’t I used to lie awake at night worrying about finances because of what ex did and was very unwell due to the stress).
My point is, make a point of just being together taking it easy and build a calm happy environment for yourselves. I used to have days when I’d wake up on the morning and think sod it todays a duvet day. And girls would get a day off (primary) school and we’d slob out in pjs and eat and watch dvds. My girls remember those times with great fondness.

You’re going to be so happy in your new little home.

Good luck for tomorrow xx

Empty the pantry, he has no idea what's in there anyway.... leave him the rubbish you don't want...
Remember you own half of everything.
Take photos of the rooms as you have left them, he will later accuse you of taking "everything"

I would recommend that if in doubt about whether to take something, take it!

He isn't going to divorce easily, no doubt he will argue every penny so get what you can now. I bitterly regret being so generous to xh with what I gave him when he left. He has now replaced most things with all the money he is sitting on whilst I am struggling and could do with lots of the things back!