Dating Thread 197 - Dating into 2021 and beyond

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

lurker I feel utterly crap, if that helps 😊
Last Christmas I was being wooed by a lovely man who I fell for and we had a wonderful time together until August. Now he's having a lovely time with someone else. And I'm taking an OLD break because it's been shit. And Christmas is bleak without being able to see friends or family and I feel lonely here in the family home with my kids and their father.

On the upside, the house looks lovely with candles and decorations. So there's that 😐

@LongtimelurkerL I am not feeling it either and for some reason feeling really anxious.
Merry Christmas everyone

Nearly there lovely threadies

Still ill really not ideal timing. I’m trying to do holistic pain relief.

Here’s some dating memes I liked for comic relief

@LongtimelurkerL feeling very emotional tonight. Doing the whole Santa thing alone, prepping for dinner alone, this whole lockdown thing, not knowing when I’ll see Mr TG again because of said lockdown and extreme tiredness is making me want to cry 😭
I’m going to start on the baileys

@Bunkbedpeople sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Hope you feel better soon.

The last meme is totally me 🙈

Meet n sniff n snog turned into 1st date with tapas and cocktails. Now I want a lot more.
Big, calloused hands, great forearms and massive biceps! It’s like the universe heard my wish and decided to deliver for once. He also reads philosophy and can hold his own in a conversation.

I’ll call him Mr Dice and I hope I’ll see him again tomorrow night. He was very keen to see me again.

@Bunkbedpeople that last meme is me!!! So funny!

Haven't heard anything from Mr Yoga since Wed. He was meant to drop my card round today too but nothing so I sense everything has been sidetracked due to work so no card for xmas. Big sigh.....

@Wasail Christmas night date!!! Sounds perfect!

My festive meme of the day.
I’m sorry to come crashing in with my date news when people are feeling shitty. This dating is a roller coaster.

A Christmas date night sounds amazing @Wasail 

@Eesha that must be disappointing. Hopefully he can drop it off tomorrow.

Aw @Wasail that's exactly the news we LOVE to read about it's is wonderful. It's been a long time since tapas cocktail and fabulous first date! Gives me a lovely big optimistic feel that does and glad for you too. Please send newsy update of further MrDice rendezvous

@Eesha that's a bit rubbish. No word and no card from MrYoga

@Bunkbedpeople sorry for badly timed ill-health
I'm another one who identifies with meme three. Thanks for that laugh 😆

I’ve been thinking and realised that he looks like a cross between Matt Smith and Arnold schwarzenegger. And sounds a little like Liam Neeson.
A bit of a heady combo really

Ooft @Wasail you lucky thing! So glad to hear it went well! Merry Christmas all from a lurker but strong supporter of you all on this weird and wonderful journey

@Wasail yes!!!!

Update tomorrow

@lovellost @Ruralbliss yes, it's a bit naff but I'm sure he got sidetracked with work stuff. I'll probably get my card (I hope) a few days later. I'm not back home till tmw night and I'm sure we will chat on the phone then. Sigh!

Sitting here trying to work out how best to nail out on the MnSnS I said yes to on Saturday.

I know I'm being that person we all get anxiety from by being obviously online chatting to my latest universe offering but leaving the msg sent earlier by MrVid unanswered.

'Hi sorry but I'm bailing on dating while winter and pandemic' is probably what I'll go with but I find it sooo hard and this is someone I e never even met ffs.

I need to develop a way thicker skin and woman the hell up!

So life has hit the fan.
DD1 and exH had huge fall out, world war three stuff as usual. He's screaming down the phone at me, and because I wouldn't get involved and play the game, I'm a slut an abusive mother and a horrific wife. He's threatening to put DD2 in the car and drive 3.5hrs to his parents tonight. I told him I'd phone the police. Hence why I got called an abusive mother.

I phoned his parents I'm done with his shit
So Christmas for my wee girl and grandson is fucked because he has no anger control and wonders why I left him.

@cravingthelook i didn't want to read and run but I had a few years of this with my ex and his DD. She hasn't got a relationship with him now but is happy. He also has an angry issue. I guess I just wanted to say there can be light at the end of the tunnel even if it doesn't seem like it. You are a strong soul.

More supportive vibes coming from me @cravingthelook and another who knows first hand what easily riled angry XH can be.

For some reason special occasions trigger them more than other times. I learnt to walk more gingerly on eggshells around Xmas, birthdays, weddings, holidays etc

I'm sorry you are dealing with this shit but terrible for your DDs

What an absolute cockwomble.

What did his parents say about his hateful nonsense?

They just said they'd call him

They are ok, they are quite elderly but I think they know deep down he's a stroppy twat as he does it to them. I think they know I'm not the bad guy.
I remember in the house a few years ago after an argument his mum saying to him but what about your wife, it's her you should be supporting. He argued back with his mum even then.

I also text his best mate to call him

Fuck it! I'm watching the Scottish Ballet special film!

So he has to pull this shit at Christmas, doesn't he craving? (and the toughest Christmas ever at that). Reckon he's doing it on purpose?

Who was it who asked whether anybody else had hit the dating doldrums? Yes- me! A month or two ago I was chatting constantly with 3-4 men from Fab, and meeting 2-3 of them fairly regularly. Now everything has gone quiet, and they have all melted away save Mr Double Decker (who is reliably lovely).

I went back on Bumble a couple of weeks ago, and that too has been rubbish- a couple of desultory chats, that's it. I'm using an old profile- maybe I should delete it and start afresh. Or try Hinge. Or stick with Mr Double Decker for a bit- but I have to know that the urge to do that is coming from a good place, and not just desperation

Sorry craving that he can still fuck your life up. It seems unfair when you've actually left him. I hope the ballet sorts you out.

Merry Christmas everyone