Dating Thread 197 - Dating into 2021 and beyond

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Whoop whoop @Ruralbliss

Feeling a tad better after lots of (non dating) time in bed so fingers crossed I’m going to start my Xmas tidying and cleaning tonight

I think in terms of dating professions it’s the person not the job that defines them. But also a job is ultimately such a big part of someone’s life that it does and doesn’t matter?

Eg if you wanted someone quite money minded that might not be me as I want to do research and though I’m financially organised I’m happy to spend less for more lifestyle independence. So, I couldn’t keep up with, say, a City lifestyle.

Or obviously someone who works away lots (eg military) has a special set of working circumstances - which some partners are cool with and others not so much!

Yo, representing the arts end of the fabulous woman spectrum . I even literally work with paint, although my job is more applied art/ craft.

This tall man thing is funny. Have you seen the thread that's running at the moment about what instantly attracts you in a man? Page after page of posters drooling over massive thighs, wide shoulders, huge hands...I must be one of the only women out there who actually prefers quite skinny, slight, not- too- tall men! I don't like being loomed over. Saying that, my last two boyfriends have both been 6' 2, but I found that a drawback rather than anything.

Just got messaged by an interesting, cute, intelligent guy on Fab- definitely a cut above the usual offerings. I asked him why he had "Can't accommodate" on his profile, and he messaged straight back, cheerily admitting he lives with his girlfriend. FFS

Yay rural! (I could do with one like that )

Ah shite if that's what the majority of women go for. Quite skinny myself so obviously a niche market. Don't get the hands thing. Good to hear @rural

Oh I'm one of the few that like a skinnier, slighter man! I'm not too bothered about height as I'm only 5 foot but saying that I've never had a boyfriend under 6 foot (not done on purpose, just who I've clicked with!) Tall and skinny is my thing obviously 😅

Tbh I wouldn’t trust the verdict of a (fairly light hearted banter) online thread

I think it’s good policy to be the best physical version of yourself/practice good self care but also people with all builds and appearances get partnered up and dates.....it’s the overall package?

I look like a gym bunny but I (kind of) prefer shorter heavier guys. Tall dark isn’t really my type.

Nooooo @crackofdoom what are they like all these cheaty boys out there? Why can't they be happily monogamous

Poor girlfriends of them. Not nice.

Tall, rangey, blue eyed and pretty faced is my favourite type but probs best to explore all types now I'm nearing 50 living in the middle of nowhere.

MrAvo (newest iron) is bald, chunky & swarthy.

He would not make my head turn in street but he's just been asking for more pics of me and ever so complimentary with each one I sent.
I told him I was way too classy to send swimming suit pics to a stranger which was respected.

@Bunkbedpeople glad you are catching up with R&R after your energetic week.

I definitely get the swoons for practical types but want someone who I can chat current affairs and bounce ideas off. As long as they are happy doing their job I don't care what it is (although I do tend to swipe left on HGV drivers - my bad)

I have rejected several dates on account of their small hands. I really find men with hands smaller than mine a turn off. Large, calloused hands melt me. I do like men to be taller than me but I’m only 5’5” so that’s not hard.

I'm pretty happy being quite skinny as it goes. Big plus is I hardly ever get sports injuries as I think less weight means less stress. Before my last iron MsS, I'd only ever been out with tall women, she was 5'2 or 5'3. But I hardly noticed actually and what she lacked in height she made up for with pheremones and feistiness. An intoxicating brew.

It's a shame you're ruling HGV drivers out rural, I hear there are several thousand of them at a loose end in the South of England right now.....

Yay rural 😁
Boo crack 😩

I do pervert someone at least a couple of inches taller than me. There's just something about kissing up that I love. Slim or chunky both work. I have a thing about the bit between the neck and the shoulder that makes me go weak at the knees. I've spent the evening wrapping presents with whiskey macs so might be oversharing...

Prefer... not pervert... although...😉

That's funny @WeWantTheFinestWines I blame the earlier tearful wistfulness over wrong 'un to the endless Bailey coffees I made through the day to ease the wrapping admin.

I sent a pic I took for ex dire texter iron to new MrAvo

Where ex iron received it and said an unimpressive 'you have an interesting face'
(hmmmm not the most overly gushy compliment I've ever received...)
I got a "Wow! Super gorgeous. You have a beautiful smile'

Apparently my curves are his favourite kind of body type & my musical prowess is a big swoon too.

Easy tiger. It's all in the pheromones.

Blockers: Distance (2hrs) - no matter for me as I do a lot of driving and love it.
Lives with his folks having left ex wife. I have kids 99% of the time.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Festive pandemic first date in a motorway services to be ticked off then we'll see.

Wondering whether I should still see teeny MrVid as planned on Saturday.
Wisdom from this thread tells me yes to keep the abundance of blokes vibe going.

I’m 5’ 8” so always want taller than me. When I met Mr German he was sitting down when I arrived and when we stood up to leave I realised we were probably the same height. I did feel weird about it but I ignored that. He had amazing thighs 😄
Mr TG is a shade under 6 feet which I like a lot.
I read that thread on what is attractive in a man and they nearly all mentioned forearms which I’ve never considered. I’ll have to look at a few men’s arms to see what I’m missing

I think it reads better as 'pervert' @WeWantTheFinestWines 😂😂😂😂😂

Am i the only one of the thread without a degree😩
I blame having a child at 15 and not coming from a family who went to Uni.
I'm living the Uni life through my kids, my son graduated this year with a degree in physics and my daughter is hoping to go next year to study forensic biology - clearly got their brains from their mum😁

I think I've done alright with my jobs, actually left my job yesterday and start a new one in the New Year, exciting times ahead.

As for men and my criteria, my ex husband was white collar but I've ended up with a man who is a builder albeit with his own company.
Its definitely very different, sometimes I call him my bit of rough🤣
I would also need a man taller than me which is not hard as I'm 5 3....Mr K is about 6ft i think, he has forearms to die for (because according to the other thread its important) too be fair he's chunky all over which I love, muscles are fine but not too ripped or defined otherwise I feel like I have to up my game and i detest exercise 🤣

Coming back to the Christmas discussion, its going to be a weird year, DD is going to her dads Xmas Eve night and coming home Xmas Day night.
This is the first Xmas Day without her and I'm bricking it as I'm not sure how sane her dad is, you might remember he went psycho after Xmad last year when he found out about Mr K and spent months harassing/stalking me and attempted suicide 2 or 3 times, she came to stay at Xmas last year and never went back, she has been spending 4 hrs with him on 1 day a week since March and now she's sleeping over😱
She has had some practice sleepovers there but with her boyfriend recently but Xmas Eve her boyfriend wont be there.
She is nearly 18 and its her choice but I'm definitely worried.

So Xmas Day DS and I are having curry and a day to ourselves.

Boxing Day should have been a big family get together (3 families) but Boris said No so we'll be at mine so now I need to cook and create some fun.

Mr K may be over tonight depending on his son, if not could be tomorrow night and if not will be Boxing Day.....its very up in the air as his son's mum doesnt plan ahead so he doesnt know if his son is sleeping over or not, he definitely has his son Xmas Day and are going to Mr K's mum for the day as she lives alone.
This is our first proper Xmas, last year we were just FB and although we spent Xmas night together it was all about the sex.
This year its presents and stuff, Mr K said we had to set a budget😱😱
So we have the worlds smallest budget and I was rather shocked to start but then I embraced the challenge and have hopefully got him some gifts he'll like.

So although 2020 will be a different Xmas it will still be fun and the main thing is my family will be together at various points.

Hope everyone has a good time no matter what they are doing 🎄🎅

sortingitout I'm like you, its nice if a man has a bit of definition but its not the be all for me and too ripped just makes me feel guilty that I'm not a gym bunny 🤣 I like taller men but at 5' 9" its rare i find anyone taller and they're usually around same height

I too don't have a degree although have a professional career. I don't really care what dates do for a living as long as they are solvent because whilst I don't need anyone to fund me I do want to be able to do stuff, travel etc (when we can) so they need to be able to afford that themselves

Morning, yes to the do any job that you are passionate for as long as you can pay your own way and we are drastically limited in what we can do together.

I like all sorts of men, I don't have one look I go for. Good teeth, pretty eyes and good hygiene are a must (hand hygiene and good nail care defo).
I wouldn't go for someone clearly overweight, I want them to have energy and stamina for life.
Height is whatever they are but a tall man does make me feel dainty.

I get the arms thing ... nice toned shapely arms.... I do this thing during the first intimate stages/foreplay to their arms. Mr Swan said it was something else and how the fuck did people resist it 😛

I like a nicely spoken man, articulate with good pronunciation.

All of which can be thrown out the window as for women I like curvy, feminine, feisty, independent, confident. Again nicely spoken. I like natural dancers, it's in the way they move. I like long hair and pretty lipstick.

*aren't limited in what we can do together

Lots to comment on there @Slothmomma but very top of the list is you becoming a mum at 15 & raising your two who are now doing degrees.

All credit to you I cannot begin to imagine how hard that must have been - the pregnancy, having a tiny newborn when you were a child yourself. Amazing.

Degree schmegree
I only scraped a place through clearing into a teaching degree. Hated it. Took lots of drugs and slept around then fell into a random IT career due to chance & my love of the embryonic internet.

I didn't have kids until I was 30 & even then felt too immature and ill prepared so I'm really impressed by your story.

Good luck with the new job when it starts.

Brave of your DD heading over to her unhinged dads this year for Xmas. Nice that you'll have DS & MrK to enjoy it with.

How long ago did you part from DD dad for him to justify going mental over you seeing MrK? There's no reasoning with unreasonable types.

Hope you have a cosy time & DD is ok

Sorry that was fir @SortingItOut - can't find my glasses!!!

In other news the universe is throwing new matches and old irons at me. I am just gently chatting to see where it takes me.

So I had a date zero (with a potential fab iron) lined up last week (that's what Ms Jam calls the walk/coffee, do we like each other to arrange something more date). It was just coffee and he cancelled. I was going to let him go. Anyway he kept chatting and I was straight up how my time is precious and I can't do last minute rearranging so it annoys me. Very apologetic and he's stepped up the messaging since.

Met for a walk yesterday. On the drive in I literally gave myself a head chat about why am I bothering, he's not my type, I won't fancy him based on his pictures, he cancelled already.

As I drove into the car park my inner 20 year old rock chick said yes!! He's exactly the type 20 year old me would have drooled over.
Walk was nice, total gent, wonderful voice and very well spoken, it was cold so we went for a drive, ended up snogging in the car for 90 minutes.

This is very much FWB grounds for a number of reasons, mostly because I think we'd have a lifestyle mismatch. He is also only looking for that.

We will meet again. So I best name him, Mr Sounds.

I'm meeting another potential, this one is older, also fab, been there done it and got the t-shirt, looking for a nice lass now. We get along well in chat, I don't think I will fancy him, his lifestyle is half way closer to mine. I'll name him if the date zero this afternoon progresses.

Other chats ongoing ... will tell you if anything progresses

@SortingItOut I agree with Rural

That's good going!! I had DD1 at 22 and I was not ready for that!!

My ex knows nothing of my dating life... I've not date anyone long enough that it's come up (other than Mr Tea and that was never going to be a traditional relationship)
I expect he won't be reasonable... but there's a very long time until I need to worry about that.