Dating Thread 197 - Dating into 2021 and beyond

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Ruralbliss i think that sounds like a decent date and worth a second date. I think there's a lot to be said for a decent person who doesn't mess around and is open about liking you.

@dudefromthatlondon you're right I'm confusing myself!

The dad from school seems very much more my type of person but I'm not sure I'm attracted to him but I think he's worth a date to see!

My iron is very non committal. Says he's not keen on the serious stuff like the "where's this going chat" but happy to see how things go between us as he says he's enjoying getting to know me! However he's not sweeping me off my feet but does that even exist anymore? Am I trying to find something that doesn't exist?!

@Ruralbliss I am liking this analytical approach. Definitely worth a second date.

@Whoknows11 sweeping off your feet does exist but it doesn’t last in my experience. If this guy is telling you he’s into you, not looking elsewhere, and willing to see how things go that’s a great start. Of course if you still want to keep your options open and you are doing it honestly (which you are) then you should so that.

Update from me is that I met Mr TourGuide today for lunch which lasted for 6 hours - so much chatting and getting to know each other. We ended up sitting into my car after and having quite a hot kissing session- I was left wanting more. Trying not to lose my head this time. But sort of failing! We probably won’t see each other until after Christmas now which seems like forever. I’m excited :)

@mayzee writing it like the way you did makes sense. I need to read less into it and just chill!

Ooooooooh that's the sort of update we love to see @Mayzee with you and MrTourGuide. How many dates have you had with one another?

@Ruralbliss that was our third date but first 2 were petrol station coffee chats so this was a ‘proper’ date in my mind. We have been chatting for a month and he has messaged every single day or responded more or less immediately when I’ve messaged first.
There doesn’t appear to be game playing and he asks questions, which I was so conscious of after the chats on here, and seems interested in me and what I have to say.
I’m trying to take it for what it is and enjoy rather than expecting it to go wrong like the previous ones. I’m excited. Did I say that already?😃

How is everyone feeling who is in London and the South East etc who have just entered Tier 4 restrictions?

@Dancerinthemoonlight it was quite a shock at such short notice here in London I'd say! I'll still be seeing family as they are in my support bubble but not Mr Yoga however we have been in regular daily contact so we feel we can get through it!

@Mayzee sounds great - have you had any ‘chats’ or just playing it by ear. You’re at the same stage (date three) as me and Mr LongWalk but you’ve prob had a bloomin’ kiss by now.

Yeah, same as @Eesha big shock as I was planning to travel to see family and new baby family member on the 23rd but now can’t. Luckily going to bubble for Xmas day but have never had a build up just me and DD - bit weird but she seems happy

Fantastic @Mayzee keep us posted so we can love vicariously through your blossoming romance!

No change to plans for us as already cancelled people coming to us and usual travel plans. Just me and the eye rolling, door slamming teens. I'm going to need a lot of sherry, port and Baileys.

Already feeling a bit like Cinderella as I sweep and clean around them sitting on devices or tv but grateful I'm not on my own and we are healthy. Well three of us are. One not so much. Glad we have a spacious house so I can escape their chatter tbh

Not heard much from Mr Stone. He's bummed out by Xmas being made illegal. Suspect he's far less upbeat and energetic than I.

Have a new potential iron Mr Bee who came in with a slightly overt ref to my body which I chose to ignore but seems interesting.
Some really dire conversationalists out there. I'm sitting on hands not to write 'Really. This is how you woo a bird? With one line boring statements? Best of luck with that!'

Had an en mass virtual pub gathering last night where my married olde besties declared their horror at OLD and why don't I just enjoy being single. I am my dears. I just don't see why I wouldn't swipe left on many men just in case I stumble on a suitable one for me. They didn't get it. I managed not to tell them to stop being judgy.

@LongtimelurkerL oh we had all the kisses yesterday No ‘chats’ yet, it’s the first time I don’t feel the need because of the comms being consistent and he’s clear with me that he likes me and wants to be with me, making plans for dates etc. I will have a discussion before things go further intimacy wise:)

@eesha I'm in part of Essex which is in tier 4 now aswell. I live right on the cusp of the tier 4 and tier 2 but postcode falls into tier 4. It has been a huge shock.
I'm mostly worried in terms of what this means for my job search and how much it will stall it as I have given up dating until March. I just hope the rates go down enough so we can be moved down into a lower tier.

@Ruralbliss the friends being judgy is so annoying! I haven’t told anyone about my latest dating because I think they think I’m mad and why would
I bother! So you guys are my sounding board

I'm beginning to suspect bad ghostee MrVW has ruined it in the hotness & tallness dept. Ffs. Not in the (lack of) scintillating conversation nor woeful seduction skills but...

What do people think about once a week dates? We can't to see to find much more than that at the mo. However I've got free time and finding it frustrating! Anyone else understand? I've been single for ages but now a taste of something and I want it all the time! I seem to have forgotten what I did before 😬

I think once a week is great @Whoknows11 you have a life to get on with between times.

My first OLD romance was with a (narcissistic egocentric self-centred coke-head fuck but that's neither here nor there) guy who lived in the next street. As he was big into love bombing we quickly got into the habit of seeing each other all the time. It was intense and overwhelming. I neglected everything.

Since then I've had boyfriends where distance, jobs, childcare etc has meant weekly dates and sleepovers are the norm. For me this is ideal especially as there's texting and phoning throughout the week.

Oh god I'm sick of the judgy comments

Not even going to tell them anymore

In Scotland so in 4 from Boxing Day day. My friend said, we are all in the same boat and I just said no we are not, you all have husbands/partners we are definitely it in the same boat.

She hasn't messaged since

@ruralbliss thanks for your perspective that's great! I need to get my head around this and chill out. Any advice? I need someone to constantly remind me 😬

@Whoknows11 once a week sounds fine to me. I don't work so technically have more time but I have kids whereas my partner has a very busy week workwise yet no kids. I've dated in the past and only met fortnightly so I think you're lucky with weekly!

@eesha thanks! Interesting to hear what is roughly the average!

@Mayzee lucky you! Is he explicitly saying these things or just a feeling. I cannot quite get Mr Long Walk. I flip wildly between thinking he’s into me and then that he’s not - honestly think it’s more to do with my abusive ex and then several love bombing relationships than him but I’m not sure how to find out??

@Whoknows11 yeah I think weekly to start with is normal. Anymore is possibly a bit lovebombing even if you’re both single and with no ‘baggage’

@cravingthelook I'd far rather be in my current solo boat than the one I shared with my XH for 20 years. Thanking my lucky stars he got so awful the rose ringers finally fell from my face and he's rear view mirror.

I think you all deserve a treat for Christmas:

twitter.com/deathtospinach?s=20

(and Becky if you're reading the thread .. I salute you !🖖)

Bravo @HairyArsedMan that's excellent!

More Taylor offerings for those in need. She knows....