Who's the breadwinner?

[BarryWhiteIsMyBrother]

Looking purely at the financial aspect of a relationship, in terms of bringing money in every month, who's the main breadwinner, the higher earner in your relationship? And if it's the other party, is that because you are raising your children?

Flame me all you want. I'm wondering so I asked.

DH is retired now, although refuses to use that term, but I've been the main bread winner most of our married lives. We switched off parenting and staying home when the dc were primary age and he was much better at it than I. We really only both worked outside the home for about 7 years, in which I was promoted several times with raises to match. I outpaced hours earning potential several times over. At some point he started a business doing graphics and never went back into the workforce. He made just about enough to keep him in equipment, but by that time we no longer needed his income to live the lifestyle we wanted.

The way it has worked out, it has suited us perfectly. One of us to take care of the 'life' stuff that my career left no time for. It's meant we can enjoy the time we do have together, and I have little guilt about not participating at home so much.

All money is family money though. He works hard, as do I.

I earn 5 times more than my partner. We both have children but mine live with me full time; he sees his a few days per week. It does feel uneven financially and I can't ever consider us getting married because that will leave me financially vulnerable nor can I consider pooling resources to buy a better house because the cost will always fall to me. He does support me well in being able to work though so no grumbles from me.

He earns more than me.
I am better qualified and when we met I had a higher earning potential, though I was very early in my career.
I lost that opportunity when I took two maternity leaves to have his children. Now my earning potential is lower, because of childcare, and I will never earn as much as him.

My husband is a househusband, so does not have paid employment but it is his job to run the house.

I earn ever so slightly more, we work in the same industry and he has been in it longer than me, but I am in a higher position. I'm looking to get a promotion in the next 12 months as well so I will out-earn him by more when that comes about. He is not ambitious at all, I expect I will always earn more than him and the gap will widen.

We are the same age but I have taken 2 career breaks due to kids that he has not.

Me and DP keep swapping.
It was me when we got together, then covid happened and I've been on furlough ever since so just basic pay and no overtime etc so his is the bigger wage.
We're actually building up a business together at the moment so when we can both do that full time, we'll be equal.

We don't really look at it like that, though. Our money is just household money, wherever it comes from.

I've worked part time (initially 3 days, now 4) in a professional role ever since we had children (apart from during mat leave). DH has his own business and has run it from home most of that time. Currently he earns about two thirds of what I do. Previously it has been a lot less and was very little at one time when kids very young. We share childcare. In fact in some ways he has done more as he's been around for school pick ups etc more than me. Now late teens - he dies most of the 'lifts'. Housework - I do more as he's oblivious to a lot.

We have always had a joint account and pay all our earnings into that. We regard all our money (including savings in one or others' name) as "ours".

Both earn close to 80k.

DH took step back for childcare (3 kids) over the years as I have a defined benefit pension so in the longer term that will serve us best.

He increased his hours as the kids got older. Neither of us stopped work for childcare but we have 2 children with AN and we needed to put time and effort into them early on. I would say within the next 2 years he will significantly out-earn me because he owns his own business but has always had to hold back significantly to do the childcare but her is giving it a proper go from here on out.

I earn x3 what my DP does.
I started a new career straight back from maternity leave 4 years ago and worked my way up to European level management.

It's not been easy but I'm really proud of myself. Some scary decisions were made but I live by the mantra "go hard or go home" and "fortune favours the bold". It's not failed me yet!

I don't currently live with my OH so I'm the only earner in my household. However, we are planning to live together in the future and he earns 3 x more than me.

I am. And just as it was when he earned more than me, all our money is family money. It is highly likely I will remain the breadwinner for the rest of our lives, we're both good with that.

DH. He always has, he is very senior in a high paying, private sector industry. I am a post-grad student atm so earning 0 but I worked in a professional public sector role infamous for shit pay, prior to this. He has always earned multiples of my salary.