Who's the breadwinner?

[BarryWhiteIsMyBrother]

Looking purely at the financial aspect of a relationship, in terms of bringing money in every month, who's the main breadwinner, the higher earner in your relationship? And if it's the other party, is that because you are raising your children?

Flame me all you want. I'm wondering so I asked.

Me. Recently made redundant but usually earn several multiples of what dh does. We used to share childcare duties but now dd is a teenager, we don't need childcare as such. I would say that I have always been the "primary parent" though. DH would probably point out that he does more cleaning than I do!

At 30 we earned the roughly the same and both worked FT.
At 35, I earned less due to working PT, 40-60% FTE.
In my 40s, my salary increased and I now earn 1.5x more with him FT and me 80%.

I have professional qualifications and work in a higher paying field. I wouldn’t say I’ve worked harder.

I earn 2-3x DH's salary depending on bonus. It all goes in one pot, and we're very open with our finances. Otherwise fairly equal partners in terms of house / kids etc. He works slightly reduced hours to enable him to cover pick ups etc when I'm travelling for work.

OH is. For various reasons my earning potential is quite low , so it made sense for me to be the main carer for DD. I do have more savings though.

Dh earns £40k more than me. We both work full time, have the same experience and qualifications and are the same age. We work on slightly different fields but need the same level of expertise on both.

My husband earns a lot more than me, same industry but he works full time and I only work part time. He works very hard and goes above and beyond for everyone. I prefer a better work-life balance.

I earn about 4 times as much. But he's building up a business. Although I have always earned more. We both worked part time when we had kids (no putting it all on him even though financially we'd be better off). It's a non issue though. My field is better paid, our skills are different, no one works harder or is somehow better.

It's me. Whether I earn more or less than my partner, I am still the main breadwinner for me. His income doesn't affect me at all.

Any survey that asks who is the main breadwinner just wants to make assumptions on whose opinions matter more I think.

H 1: both earned well, I earned slightly more until we had kids and I went part time. Now he's ex-H and he earns about 4 times more than me.

Now DH: earns slightly more than me.

BUT we are both self employed and I'm on track to overtake him. He's also older and wants to slow down. I'm ambitious for my business and it is growing.

I hope to out earn exH too at some stage, through what I have built from scratch by myself.

After we divorced I swore I would never be dependent on anyone ever again.

I’ve always earned more than my DH. I earn about 3x what he earns. But it’s due to career choice not lack of education, work ethic or fewer hours. He’s in a public sector law enforcement field which is imho underpaid, and I’m in a STEM field working for corporations.

I earn a bit over double what my DH does he works part time (4 days a week) looking after our son one day a week whilst I am full time. We also did shared parental leave and he did the last 3 months unpaid whilst I was back at work.

He makes zero fuss about any of it we contribute equally via a percentage of our salaries so we both have the same percentage of disposable income.

I would say we do 50/50 childcare most of the time but he does bed time most nights

My partner earns about 30% more then me. Both very healthy salaries and we could survive easily on either one. However, there is no main breadwinner as we have four children and two homes. And a lot of his 30% more goes on maintenance etc. So the feeling is all very equal as in what we put into our home together.

My DH earns considerably more than me, the field I work in (charity) is notoriously known for low salaries, but I have a huge sense of achievement in my role and that is worth a lot to me. All money is equally shared & has been for over 30 years of marriage. He's always been a hands on Dad and probably done a lot more in terms of raising our DC than me.

My basoc salary is slightly higher, but his (not guaranteed) bonus is normally higher than my (not guaranteed) bonus so he usually comes out a bit higher than me- think it was about £3k higher than me last year.

We’re lucky in that we’re both high earners and share money so it’s not a point of contention.

Though I think I could earn 100 times what my husband does and it wouldn’t bother him, in fact he’d be delighted for me.

DH warns about 15% more than me but I eventually more before we had kids, its all one pot

Me before covid, dh made redundant so I am the only breadwinner at the moment.

We earn the same. DH never spends any money though so in terms of financial contribution I think he's a net contributor and I'm a net spender

DH earns 2x what is do before any bonuses are taken into account. I'm part time and his industry is known for higher salaries. All our income is joint and he fully supportive of me spending on myself and vice versa, within our budget. Where we live the childcare subsidy is based on the lower earners income/hours and includes travel time which is what has made it possible for me to work at all.
We could survive on his income but adding mine tot he mix allows us to reach our goals faster and have extras we wouldn't otherwise be able to enjoy.
Our plan is that I will pick up more hours as the kids get older and less dependent on me (currently 3.5 and 8m).

At the minute dh out earns me by a lot. We don't technically need my earnings, but they are useful for savings/holidays etc... and I really like my job which makes it feel worthwhile.

Previously I have been the higher earner but all money is family money anyway.

I know we are lucky to both be able to follow our passions and pay the bills... but I have zero problem earning less than dh. My job is super flexible which improves both our lives (especially now we have a baby on the way!), and i know I have the skills and experience to earn more if needed.

We earn almost exactly the same salary and both work the same number of hours (both nearly full time) as we juggle some of the childcare between us. I'm really grateful that we've managed to make it work like this!

DH earns double what I do. He’s 6 years older, and had already had 4 years’ work experience before we met, whereas I was at university still.

He is also in a niche job that has global skills shortages so can take lucrative contracts. However we took a cut to move back to the UK to settle down and have stability.

When I return after mat leave, I’m likely to go to 0.8 FTE. I reckon I’ll get a pay rise in February to take me to over 40k.

I earn just under double what DH earns. We both work full time and have children. Neither of us has had our careers affected by having children really although I would probably be in an even more senior role and being paid more if I hadn’t had children. I’ll eventually progress but my desire to do so has been put on hold for now.

Me, 20K more. Separate finances and it works great

I earn nearly 4x my dh's income. I work long hours, he is home more and does more chores and most of the cooking. Dcs are teens so not much to do for childcare although he used to do nearly all school holidays around his job and reduced his hours when the kids were at primary school. He supported me through uni on what was a fairly low salary, now I earn more and we pool all finances, and each take a cut of what's left after bills and savings for our own personal spends.

I earn more and I only work two days a week versus his five. But I contract so my role isn't secure in the same way his is. I have lots of flexibility I don't work a 9-5 I just fit in the hours around my toddler but it's hard work. Very mentally draining.