Some of these avoidant, narcissistic men are just bloody awful. The last one I got involved with, I met in real life, not through OLD. He cheated on me, phoned me up to tell me and was almost giggling (if I'm being charitable through nervousness Ness) when he told me, by way of excuse, "I think I'm just bad at relationships".
A 40 year old man giggling that they caused someone to have to get an STD test. That was the last I heard of him. The psychological trauma of dealing with something like that is huge.
I think so many men are awful because there is so much encouragement for them to be awful - there's so much online encouraging men to play the field, telling them women are O k y out to trap them, etc and little encouragement for them to see getting married as a life goal. So instead, all these little self centred princes being produced, who have been encouraged to see themselves as a great prize, when in reality, they are very, very ordinary. And they want to have sex, so they go around leading on, ghosting and dumping in their quest for fulfillment.
My ex has dumped 3 times in the last 8 months. Me once and the woman he cheated on me with twice - I guess he only told me about her because I know her and have her on FB, so have seen it all play out and her transform from a happy go lucky woman to posting a load of depressing break up stuff.