Has anyone stopped online dating?

[XmasHollie]

It's so boring!! I've deleted my account. anyone else?

@Camenon

boyfromthenorthcountry, you're part of the problem I'm afraid, and you're not a 'boy' from anywhere.

I have - 35 and separated and it was pretty dire 😂
Had a few dates but decided I needed a break when I was accepting breadcrumbs!

Might try again in the new year or invest in more batteries 😂

Me! It’s dire and made me detest men. It’s the candy shop mentality of it

I'm 50 so you can just imagine how I feel. I did meet someone irl quite randomly though. Thought we hit it off quite well. And then he just ghosted me. So it's not just Old that's dire, it's just dating in general it seems.

I've given up. Not interested and not looking at all now.

Apparently I'm too fussy lol

I got asked earlier when the last time I got intimate was. Apparently it just came up in conversation, a conversation about Christmas shopping.

If its any consolation it's no better for men. Well from my experiences anyway.
Although I'm seeing someone currently.

MinxyMay I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I erased my OLD profile late afternoon and feel lighter. It's the best decision for me.

I sent a polite message to the Spanish writer saying my heart wasn't in it for several reasons. I was polite and even sent him a couple of compliments. He responded with a "thank goodness for that!
I didn't know how to let you down gently that I wasn't feeling it". And yet yesterday he was saying how excited he was to meet me and how good he felt about this.

Such a relief. I can keep my energy for more important things.

Quality of men there is dire.
No respect for women, time wasters, cheats, creeps. Far many nicer women than men out there for sure. I'd try women tbh.

@FuckThisBullshit

I've stopped online dating, real life dating, imaginary dating, serious relationships, casual relationships the whole lot. Fuck the lot of them. Being lonely at 3am is bad enough but it's better than being constantly traumatised by men who don't appreciate your worth. I'll save a fortune on razor blades now... every cloud.

This!!! With bells on! They're all ungrateful, unappreciative, rude, miserable arseholes!

Yes! Only gave Bumble 3-4 months of experimentation but I didn't find anybody who could manage the basics of a 2-way text conversations, i.e. I ask a question, they reply but then don't ask a follow up question to maintain the dialogue. This was after skipping past all those who seemed to think a top-off profile picture would prove attractive.

I couldn't bring myself to try any of the paid for sites as I thought the cost was extraordinary and I decided I really wasn't that bothered. Quite happy on my own.

I don't want to be alone forever. I feel depressed reading this yet I understand. I had 2 year relationship fall through recently after a lot of off and on behaviour and getting my heart broken. I want someone to give me hope 🥺. I want to feel like it's possible that i might find someone who values me.

@Mumteedum aww I know the feeling, I don't want to be alone either which is why I thought I'd give OLD a go. I want someone I can wake up next to, who I can go for a nice Sunday walk with, then lunch in a pub, someone that may want a child (if they don't have any). I just have to keep hoping that it will happen.

It's a bloomin full time job chatting with these no hopers!
I switched off after 2 months.... best thing I ever did! I'm there with you all! it's hopeless tirade of awfulness.

@Isitreally77 I look at so many ordinary people who have this and feel so confused sometimes. Like is it me,am I awful? I know it's not that really but I felt after marriage failed (abusive git) that somehow I was almost just another species. The one who can't have that stuff. Then I met ex boyfriend, never expected to, through OLD. Took it slow,had the kind of relationship I never thought possible... felt like a teenager. Then he changed his mind. He can't do it he says. Don't really understand. Apart from I know it's his issues but not sure if it's worse losing what I felt was never possible. I'm 46. Have cried half this year away.

Shit

[quote Mumteedum]@Isitreally77 I look at so many ordinary people who have this and feel so confused sometimes. Like is it me,am I awful? I know it's not that really but I felt after marriage failed (abusive git) that somehow I was almost just another species. The one who can't have that stuff. Then I met ex boyfriend, never expected to, through OLD. Took it slow,had the kind of relationship I never thought possible... felt like a teenager. Then he changed his mind. He can't do it he says. Don't really understand. Apart from I know it's his issues but not sure if it's worse losing what I felt was never possible. I'm 46. Have cried half this year away.

Shit[/quote]
Ahh don't feel bad! I just think that men feel like they have what they need on a plate... they don't! You'll meet someone I just don't think online is the place to do that... now is not a great time to meet someone xx

Me. Was on and off for 3 years. 4 semi relationships of a few months ending when they either wanted to move in instantly or they ended it because I had kids (because it hadn’t registered ).

Couple of crap hook ups, a violent rape which is still ongoing as a case and I’m OUT.

Will either meet someone in real life through shared interests/work or will stay happily single.

Plus side I now have 2 fairly good male friends from the experience so not a total loss!

Girls. - you need to do paid sites

The fact that it’s free just makes it feel cheap and disposable and attracts the wrong men

I met mine OLD in mid 2000s - we were both adventurous types that had moved to new cities and wanted people to hang out with.

I feel like neither of us would have Rohan each other if it had been now. It’s all become really commodified.

I'm 44 and been single (divorced) for 10 years. Tried many OLD sites over the years and had very very little success. Gave up about 2 years ago as I can't be bothered with the silly games plus any looks I had have faded away.

At 48 I’d be delighted to date a 34 year old and that “boy” is the ick of the whole thing right there

I'm on a paid site...it's no better.

I was full of confidence up until this year where I have had my heart well and truly broken for the first time aged 39. He was from pof mind you.

I honestly a) don't think I will feel as strongly again and b) don't want to risk being hurt again so I'm giving up.

I did done on line dating for 5/8 years on and off, I don't think I could cope with it again.
Had big gaps and on my return saw the same men.
Same profiles.

I read the OL Dating in your 40s thread on mumsnet and it's shocking and sad.

From what I've learned...

About 50% of the population are secure.
These are likely settled / less likely to be on line.

The other 50% are a mix of avoidant and insecure, more likely to be on line / unsettled.

I met a guy in RL, who presented a completely false self, after the love bombing, turned into a chaotic abusive tyrant and left me reeling, I did my healing work around attachment issues, intermittent reinforcement, boundaries, self love.

Within a few days of our break up he was on-line dating.
He will go through the love bombing with someone new, devalue etc. and leave them in turmoil.
This guy needs a health warning.

I think the OL dating scene is mainly avoidant, narcissistic men and (possibly) anxious women.
When these avoidant types put the feelers/crap out a secure woman would block their ass pronto.
The anxious will collude with him, be more agreeable, change herself, seek validation etc. And that's what these guys are looking for.

It's not you!
It's them.

It’s grim, paid for or not, and when your older the men are after a carer or your money. I’ve had little spontaneous interest in me, and it’s been one liners(or just “Hi”!) if they can’t string a sentence together they can forget it.
It’s sad, but only what I’ve come to expect from men.
I don’t need anyone, but it’s disappointing that the male of the species doesn’t want something a bit more cerebral.

Onacleardayyoucansee. Yes I agree entirely

@FuckThisBullshit

I've stopped online dating, real life dating, imaginary dating, serious relationships, casual relationships the whole lot. Fuck the lot of them. Being lonely at 3am is bad enough but it's better than being constantly traumatised by men who don't appreciate your worth. I'll save a fortune on razor blades now... every cloud.

Snap :( I started to wonder wtf was wrong with me but it’s not me I don’t think