I’m going to cancel Christmas in my house

[Unsurekitten84]

I think the UK should have made that decision tbh. No mixing of households. Keep the tier system. Just leave it this year.
I’m quite looking forward to not having to put the tree up or wrap the stupid stocking presents. In fact it is possibly one of the few covid upsides. The downside is my MiL will still demand to see us and is looking forward to everything going ‘back to normal’ for five days, during which she will see everyone she’s ever met 🙄. I’ve said I don’t want to go but dh has overruled me as apparently she has to see her grandchildren on Christmas Day.
We won’t be seeing my family though.

Goodness, are you ok? I don't think your posts sound selfish, bitter and Grinchy at all. I think they sound depressed, broken and desperate. And that was before you mentioned what your husband is like. Anyone who doesn't want to put on any kind of Christmas at all for a 5 year old isn't behaving like that for fun. You need some kind of support.

Could you just take your children and go to your parents for the whole of the Christmas period. Or even now if they are quite local? (you are allowed to relocate in any tier, I think).

If you don’t want to go to your MIL’s don’t and if you want to go to your parents in 2021 do. You’re an adult presumably, grow a backbone!

I think not putting up the tree is a bit bloody miserable if you have kids. I can’t really be arsed either it’s just all reminding me of how much fun this time of year usually is and how crap it is this year but I’ll still do decorations and stockings for the kids.

I don't understand why you can't still put up decorations and let your children enjoy the day.

You sound so miserable.

@Unsurekitten84

Yes next year I won’t be here.

Just seen your last post, hope you manage to find a way out of all this in 2021

Are you Oliver Cromwell?

Leaving your H and Mil out of things, please don't try and make a point by ruining your DC's Christmas. They are still young enough to get excited about Christmas, please for them make it as magical as you can for them.
You sound like you're at the end of your tether with your D, and going by what you've written, rightly so but your DC's have done nothing wrong, in fact if they have a drunk as a father they really deserve something nice at this time of year

Please don’t cancel Christmas. Your children will never forget and it’s so mean and selfish to cancel. Please put your kids first. You may not feel like it but they will.

I feel sorry for the children

I hate the term cancel Christmas. It’s so drama Queen.

You gonna go back in time and prevent Jesus’s birth?
Tell the BBC they need to stop filming the Eastenders Christmas special immediately?
Oi! Queen Elizabeth! Stop your speech! It’s facking cancelled, alright!

Chill out.

Images of people who say this phrase, running around pulling down decorations and kicking over Christmas trees. Tearing up hymn books and bursting in to Carol services shouting NOOOOOOO!!! ITS CANCELLED!!!

Op, I hope you're ok. Do you have a friend you can talk to about all this? You sound like you're at the end of your tether.

I would never cancel Christmas for my children what is wrong with you??

You think the government should have cancelled Christmas so no one can celebrate at all?
Sounds like you just don't like your mother in law or your family.

I'm sure theres no need to be so melodramatic. Ask the kids what they would like.

@Unsurekitten84

I think the UK should have made that decision tbh. No mixing of households. Keep the tier system. Just leave it this year. I’m quite looking forward to not having to put the tree up or wrap the stupid stocking presents. In fact it is possibly one of the few covid upsides. The downside is my MiL will still demand to see us and is looking forward to everything going ‘back to normal’ for five days, during which she will see everyone she’s ever met 🙄. I’ve said I don’t want to go but dh has overruled me as apparently she has to see her grandchildren on Christmas Day. We won’t be seeing my family though.

Competitive misery at its best.

Are you going to sit in a dark room all day chewing on dust for food?

Why is your solution to what is clearly a problem with an arsehole husband to punish your children by completely cancelling their Christmas?

Grow a backbone and deal with with your shite of a husband and his equally awful mother and stick to the plans with your parents.

If your husband will be drunk and you need to drive, then drive. Drive him there on Christmas Eve and leave him there. Then go to your parents with your children and have the lovely Christmas you planned without that millstone hanging round your neck.

Good grief woman, stop behaving as if you’re a spectator in your own life.

So you don't want to do Christmas because of coronavirus..seems a bit harsh your making your children and OH follow suit. 🤷🏼‍♀️

You sound really worn down op and it's obvious your issues are less to do with your MIL and all to do with your dh

@joanwinifred

I don't understand why you can't still put up decorations and let your children enjoy the day.

You sound so miserable.

Because she IS miserable. But not in the sense of being a Grinch, a fun sponge or anything else in that vein about Christmas, she is genuinely very, very unhappy about her life, and with good reason. Her DH is controlling and abusive. And she's had all the fun sponged up out of HER life.

Are you Oliver Cromwell?

I hate the term cancel Christmas. It’s so drama Queen.

I wish these posters would RTFT and for once just try to understand how someone might be feeling, that it's not a simple (oh so clever - not) are you Oliver Cromwell/ the Grinch?

I cannot believe you are putting your children through this and by “this” I mean not doing Christmas. You’ve said your husband won’t do it, so you should. Yes I agree it shouldn’t just be up to you, it should be a joint effort, but knowing your husband won’t do it makes it worse.

You’ve said you won’t be there next year, why wait until next year, leave now. You can’t use the excuse “it will be a rotten Christmas for the children”, it sounds as if it’s going to be a rotten Christmas for them anyway.

Don’t drive to your mother in laws, tell your husband your not driving. If you do decide to drive, and you see he is getting drunk at your MIL’s then just get the children and leave.

OP I don’t know why you are getting such a hard time . To me you sound like a woman at the end of her tether . I have been there . I hated my first MIL ( The feeling was mutual) so I simply refused to visit her . Then DH was welcome to take the DC to visit her but that would have involved him parenting !
I do think you should put up a tree and give your DC presents but put your foot down about going to MIL . He cannot physically make you go. Good luck.

@Feedingthebirds1 Well said. Yet another example of why it's a good idea to RTFT.

Your poor children.

Fucking Covid has ruined enough this year without miserable grinch parents like you ruining Christmas as well. You miserable sod.

My children are 6 and 11. We will have a lovely Christmas, without spending a fortune on presents or seeing loads of family.

@Unsurekitten84

Yes next year I won’t be here.

I hope that means you're going to get your life back and divorce the miserable controlling bastard. You need to enjoy your life. Fuck him.

This is really sad to read.. your letting a situation that should be discussed and sorted between your DH and you, to completely ruin Christmas for your children?!
No tree, no gifts, no Christmas Lindy.. literally nothing at all?! If I was their age I would be devastated! I'm guessing at least one; if not both your little ones believe in Father Christmas? How will they feel when they wake up Christmas Day, to see that Father Christmas didn't come for them. It makes my heart ache for them 🥺
Please OP, at least give the children a little bit of festive cheer.