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Original poster

Why is there so many single women in their 30's/early 40's

144 replies

Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:27

Me and a friend were discussing this before.
There seems to be so many, mainly childless women in their late 30s/early 40s. Just wondering why this could be.
Im asking because my friend's dh has left her for a woman he met at work late 30s, single, very good career. Last year my DH had an EA with a work colleague who was a single, childless woman in her early 40s.
A few years before that when he split he also had a fling with a childless woman in her late 30s
Could this be the reason why men have so mamy affairs? Because there are ready available single women who can give them more time and attention than their dp/dws. Its so sad but Im always wondering why women seem to be single at that age mark, as from what I know they usually end up with married men - probably more attention shown and fear of it being too late to try for a baby/start a family.
I wish these women could be warned that having a married man is a recipe for a disaster and it wont give them a stable relationship theyre hoping for.

OP posts:
Emmapeeler2 · 01/12/2020 15:37

I am not sure you can really generalise from these three experiences. Women are single at all ages for all sorts of reasons. I don't think it's any woman's fault, at any age, that a man has an affair.

Twizbe · 01/12/2020 15:42

Have we just stepped into Bridget Jones's Diary?

'So tell me Bridget, why are there so many single women in their 30s?'

It's the scales isn't it?

dasey · 01/12/2020 15:46

Maybe they aren't desperate enough to stay with men who have flings and emotional affairs? Now that's sad, being single isn't.

Original poster
Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:47

Im not saying its their fault at all. I usthearof the ow always being round that tage and wonder if they settle for less (being married/taken men )because they find it harder to meet someone and start a family with

OP posts:
Original poster
Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:47

Just hear of**

OP posts:
anniegun · 01/12/2020 15:48

There a quite a lot of single people about under the age of 40 (both sexes)

Why is there so many single women in their 30's/early 40's
LordEmsworth · 01/12/2020 15:48

Yes, the reason so many men have affairs is due to the vast number of single women in their 30s & early 40s who are desperate and so throw themselves at them by using their allure and glamour. Well done you, you've solved it! Now all you have to do is shoot all single women over the age of 29 and you will have ensured all marriages last forever because those poor defenceless men won't be tempted; even though their wives don't give them enough time and attention.

lifestooshort123 · 01/12/2020 15:49

Because they're fussy.

CatherineSanderson · 01/12/2020 15:49

So are there also single men around? Or is it just women that seem to be in oversupply? Hmm

Original poster
Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:51

I know many people because of the career Im in and I have to say there does seem to be more single women in their 30s/40s then there is me..it does baffle me!

OP posts:
PatsyClinSilVousPlait · 01/12/2020 15:51

People are less likely to stay in bad relationships and women have more financial independence now than previous generations.

HeddaGarbled · 01/12/2020 15:54

Confirmation bias.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/12/2020 15:57

Well if my Dh died or left me I wouldn't bother trying to find another (he's great by the way)

I'd get more dogs though Grin

I just couldn't be arsed/ very happy on my own/really enjoy Netflix and cuddling the dogs

Crazyfrog999 · 01/12/2020 15:57

Maybe they aren't desperate enough to stay with men who have flings and emotional affairs? Now that's sad, being single isn't.

Agreed.

I'm mid 30s and single and childless. I focussed on my career, becoming financially independent, with my own property and car. I only just feel comfortable and confidence enough to meet someone to build a life with and start a family with.

There isn't anything sad about this. It's called being smart.

Original poster
Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:58

I agree the older you get, the fussier you are finding the one..however, a lot of them seem to become the ow which is contradictory as they just end up in an even more complicated relationshop hurting many people in the long run.

OP posts:
ElizabethG81 · 01/12/2020 15:58

We've obviously stayed single just so we can steal your man Hmm

CatherineSanderson · 01/12/2020 15:59

@Freshprincess12

I know many people because of the career Im in and I have to say there does seem to be more single women in their 30s/40s then there is me..it does baffle me!
Well they must be around somewhere, it’s not like after WWI when a whole generation was essentially killed off.
Crazyfrog999 · 01/12/2020 15:59

PS I would never, ever entertain a married man. Plenty of them try it on with me at work and in the gym though. It's gross.

ElizabethG81 · 01/12/2020 16:00

Well I know plenty of single late 30s women, and not one of us has been an OW. You're just projecting your and your friend's insecurities.

SweatyBetty20 · 01/12/2020 16:00

I think for some of us we aren't silly enough to settle for somebody who isn't good enough just because we want a baby. We are more discerning than we used to be - there wasn't the pressure on me to settle down and have a family that there was on my mum and her generation, for instance. I'm 48 and in the early days of a really lovely relationship - no, I don't have kids, and would like to have done, but I've still had a bloody lovely life so far and for the first time ever I'm with someone who I feel I could be with for ever.

CayrolBaaaskin · 01/12/2020 16:01

Lol. You do realise that there are roughly the same number of men and women in the uk (slightly more younger men as more men born but women live longer so more older women). So there are single men same as there are single women.

Your dh cheats on you cos he’s a dirty cheat not because there are hordes of desperate 40 year old women that he has to beat off wvry day.

IJustWantSomeBees · 01/12/2020 16:04

This title was bait, you don't really want to discuss the increase in women choosing to stay single into their 30s and 40s, you want to temporarily relieve your resentment for your cheater husband by transferring blame for his actions onto single women for... existing?

CorianderBlues · 01/12/2020 16:05

@ElizabethG81

Well I know plenty of single late 30s women, and not one of us has been an OW. You're just projecting your and your friend's insecurities.
Not that they've told you.

Do you sit around chatting about that sort of stuff? That's a bit... weird.

HotSince63 · 01/12/2020 16:05

and wonder if they settle for less (being married/taken men)

I'd suggest it's the wives of these married and taken men that "settle for less", not the footloose and fancy free 30-40 year olds.

IJustWantSomeBees · 01/12/2020 16:07

Maybe they aren't desperate enough to stay with men who have flings and emotional affairs? Now that's sad, being single isn't.

Beautifully put. OP I must say, your thread doesn't do much to reduce the stereotype that women who are married to arseholes are jealous of independent, happy single women. There is no point blaming others for you and your husband's life choices.