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Original poster

Why is there so many single women in their 30's/early 40's

144 replies

Freshprincess12 · 01/12/2020 15:27

Me and a friend were discussing this before.
There seems to be so many, mainly childless women in their late 30s/early 40s. Just wondering why this could be.
Im asking because my friend's dh has left her for a woman he met at work late 30s, single, very good career. Last year my DH had an EA with a work colleague who was a single, childless woman in her early 40s.
A few years before that when he split he also had a fling with a childless woman in her late 30s
Could this be the reason why men have so mamy affairs? Because there are ready available single women who can give them more time and attention than their dp/dws. Its so sad but Im always wondering why women seem to be single at that age mark, as from what I know they usually end up with married men - probably more attention shown and fear of it being too late to try for a baby/start a family.
I wish these women could be warned that having a married man is a recipe for a disaster and it wont give them a stable relationship theyre hoping for.

OP posts:
hotchocolatey · 01/12/2020 19:46

@ChloeCrocodile lol 😊

@stampsurprise - thanks for sharing the link. An interesting read. I suppose it is a "buyer's market" for attractive men but I don't think education or what job someone does matters to all women.

trixiebelden77 · 01/12/2020 19:54

Goodness you’re easily baffled.

From the rest of your posts that’s not surprising though.

Ceriane · 01/12/2020 20:06

Why is it that the women who have settled for the biggest tossers are the ones who are the most judgemental of us single women! We shouldn’t be the ones people look down on, not by a long shot it’s the women who stay with the dickheads that should!

Emmapeeler2 · 01/12/2020 20:12

There seems to be a lot of hostility here. Which makes me think that there is women that have bee the ow and see this as an offensive post

Um, no. We are just objectively able to see that a man's affair is not any woman's fault, it's the man's. Confused

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/12/2020 20:19

There seems to be a lot of hostility here. Which makes me think that there is women that have bee the ow and see this as an offensive post.

Nope, married for over 20 years now to a man who I’m fairly sure has he cheated on me. If he has he’s covered his tracks better than the OPs dh.

Maybe one day he’ll cheat, have a fling, etc. If he does I won’t be blaming the woman he’s been with. I mean I’ll be fucked off with her, sure. But I won’t be thinking she’s the reason he’s had an affair because that paints the man as some innocent victim who can’t help himself if a woman shows him some attention. Rather than facing the fact the man is responsible for his own actions. But guess if your dh has done this repeatedly it’s easier to blame the women.

HarrietOh · 01/12/2020 20:25

I was single for years until more recently and I have friends who still are, in there 30s, and wouldn’t go near a married man.
My exH had an affair with a woman in her late 30s who was in a relationship. So I could ask, why are so many women in relationships having affairs? Hmm

Palavah · 01/12/2020 20:30

Why aren't you asking why there are so many cheating husbands around?

I can't imagine that I or any of my late 30s/early 40s single friends - active, interesting, fun, home-owning, well-travelled, well-dressed, intelligent with good careers would want your stinky lechy husband anyway.

wizzbangfizz · 01/12/2020 20:33

To be honest I have a few friends who are in that age range, single and wouldn't dream of having an affair with a married man! The ones who are single are financially independent and not willing to settle for dross and know their worth. I know more people in relationships who are having affairs than or single people having affairs with married people.

Blerg · 01/12/2020 20:34

@Twizbe so glad you got that Bridget reference in early. The title made me think of it immediately.

Next line: ‘You want to get sprogged up old girl.’

lilmishap · 01/12/2020 20:44

What about divorced Mums of Teenagers and Adults? Do they count?

PamDemic · 01/12/2020 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aminuts23 · 01/12/2020 20:45

OP I’m in my 40’s and single and childless. It’s not what I would have chosen when I set out but it’s where I am. I didn’t ‘choose’ my career, although I have a good one. What I choose now is peace and contentment.
Your questions are insulting. I am single by choice now because of years of being treat like crap by men, both in my long term relationship and shorter ones. So you keep your lying cheating husband. I’m not sure who’d want him! I’ll guess which one of us sleeps better at night.
I don’t normally feel so annoyed by posts on here but your sweeping generalisations from your ‘ivory tower’ are very very misplaced indeed.

Aminuts23 · 01/12/2020 20:46

And I’ve NEVER been an OW!

B1rdflyinghigh · 01/12/2020 20:55

Some of us ladies have morals. Some of us don't want married losers who can't keep their stuff in their pants. We expect a whole lot more.

PicsInRed · 01/12/2020 21:00

Don't worry, they're not after your fat, balding husband. 😂

20% of women never have children - a significant proportion of those are by choice. The biggest extramarital danger facing the middle aged single woman in the office isn't affairs, it's...repelling the unwanted advances of other women's aged darlings who want to bore them to death with endless marital whinges, oh do fuck off Pete.

Isitreally77 · 01/12/2020 21:04

I'm 43, single and would never dream of seeing a married man. I'm single because my marriage broke down, I hadn't planned on being single at 43, I had planned on living happily ever after with a couple of kids and a husband but that didn't happen. My career is hardly high flying but I do like it but I didn't put it before having children they just never happened.

I have more self respect than to be the other woman.

Crankley · 01/12/2020 21:14

This may come as a shock OP, but a lot of women have more self respect than to be in a relationship with a cheating slimeball like your husband.

I am way past my 30s and 40s but would never have considered a relationship with a married man and my friends all felt the same way.

You're obviously hanging onto your slimeball by your fingertips - I know for some women any man is better than no man at all but I can assure you it's not true.

Hariboqueen1 · 01/12/2020 21:17

I do think a lot of men are like your husband. So women stay single as they want to find a decent one and they are hard to find.

gurglebelly · 01/12/2020 21:26

@Freshprincess12

There seems to be a lot of hostility here. Which makes me think that there is women that have bee the ow and see this as an offensive post.
Or resent the implication that all single women of that age are willing to settle/make a play for shitbags because they are desperate?
Aminuts23 · 01/12/2020 22:27

@gurglebelly well said

brownmunde · 01/12/2020 22:38

@Crazyfrog999

Maybe they aren't desperate enough to stay with men who have flings and emotional affairs? Now that's sad, being single isn't.

Agreed.

I'm mid 30s and single and childless. I focussed on my career, becoming financially independent, with my own property and car. I only just feel comfortable and confidence enough to meet someone to build a life with and start a family with.

There isn't anything sad about this. It's called being smart.

not smart really. it's a bit late to meet someone and have kids. Surely it's possible to become financially stable whilst being in a relationship.
frozendaisy · 01/12/2020 23:17

@Freshprincess12

I'm a little confused what is so "stable" about your relationship?

And your friend no longer has a "stable" relationship.

So clearly getting married and having children isn't the only answer to having a stable relationship is it.

In my limited experience, (sweeping statement here forgive me lovely ladies just trying to turn the tides a little), divorced women (age irrelevant) are the absolute worse, like how your friend might be shortly, they think married men clearly illustrate that they can provide and commit and they flaunt themselves in our local over the DH whilst I am there. It's very entertaining he looks terrified Grin "are you married?". "Yes happily and intend to stay that way"(such an easy little sentence to inform flirtees of your vows can't understand why other married men can't say it)............."ooo look babe you've pulled"

So it's really not the cougars fault a husband strays. It's his fault, his alone.

MinxyMay · 01/12/2020 23:27

We watch the round up of the papers afterwards and Nige has a Twix because his wife doesn’t let him eat in bed so he’s desperate

This, and the rest of your post Bunkbed, is comedy gold! Grin

I have nothing to say on the general thread as I got a bit lost with all the accusations ....

Mybrowneyedgal · 01/12/2020 23:33

My first ever Biscuit for the OP

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 01/12/2020 23:35

I'm a widow in my early 40s. I don't want another man, married or otherwise. HTH.

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