Not invited to Parter's Christmas

[drinkribeina]

I may be being unreasonable here, and if so then please say!

Been with DP 3 years, both have kids, none together. We don't live together.

Every year DP spends Christmas Day at his Mums, with his older sister and her partner. I usually go to my parents. This year they have said they do not want me to go as my Dad is elderly and they are worried about catching Covid.

I will be spending Christmas Day on my own. My DP has not invited me to his Mum's for the day (I get on very well with his family and do an awful lot for his Mum). His Dad died a few years back.

Am I wrong for thinking it would be nice for DP to invite me to spend it with him and his family rather than let me spend it alone?

He sounds utterly useless and incredibly hard work

So that leaves ornament....I don’t think anyone’s good looks are worth putting up with this!

[quote drinkribeina]@Chamomileteaplease He hasn't given me a reason. To be honest it kind of comes across like it's not his problem really [/quote]
He's an arse . End of the road .

I don’t know that it’s unreasonable for someone not to want their GF or BF at a family Christmas. But I think that’s what he’s shown you with this situation - he’s treating you as a not-too-serious-girlfriend not a partner.

The “Come over for a Christmas Eve shag, but then fuck off before the fun of the actual day.” is really immature even for a BF/GF situation, though. The sort of thing you expect from a school kid, not a grown up.

You're wasting your time OP. He doesn't care enough about you to even consider you.

Just go to your dad and dump the dp

To be honest it kind of comes across like it's not his problem really

Then it isn't. If he's absolved himself of all concern about your feelings, then only one of you has a problem. Sorry, OP. That's very blunt, but... there it is.

@FestiveChristmasLights

If you see his mum frequently and you get on well, why not mention to her that you will be alone on Christmas day? Maybe she will then invite you.

Please don’t humiliate yourself by doing this.

No please don’t. OP it looks like he’s made clear where you lie in his priorities. I’m so sorry he’s being so selfish. I don’t think you should even want to get over this. I’d salvage my self respect and bin him. You can do better and you deserve better💐

I have met his ex on a few occasions and she has always been polite. I have spent plenty of time with his DC too so it's not a case of him keeping things quiet.

Yes games console is correct!

So, let's get this straight, he'd like you over to provide sex on Christmas Eve, then if you could just fuck off and get back in your box until he requires you again (either for free food, entertainment or looking after his mum), that would be great?

Wow. That is one selfish, using shitbag.

Give yourself the best Christmas present you could ever give yourself and kick the fucker into touch. And yes, return the present, and then return the SIL contribution without a word. She can hop out at the last minute and go get him a can of Lynx - he'll be needing it.

This is terrible. Honestly, if you're serious about him I'd probably end it as he seems very selfish indeed.

OP do you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, as he is (because that's who he is) if you can't have conversations about things that might make him uncomfortable? Can you see how unhealthy that is?

He doesn't care about you OP.

There's being a naturally fairly self-centred person (and that's not great, but hey, some people are naturally nicer than others) and then there's just blatant fucking using, and blatant fucking literally not giving a shit about someone. Yep, not his problem because he doesn't care about you. He doesn't care if you are on your own and sad about it.

Please get rid, people like this suck the life out of you, and it's awful to waste your one precious life with someone who just wants to take. If you ever got ill or needed support, you wouldn't see him for dust. The thought of him mooching off you, not contributing, taking taking taking, using you and his sister for a console (!) - omg, he is a pig. Please dump. That console money is yours to enjoy, please return it and do so!

OP sorry to be blunt but are you blind - he is choosing his mother over you and not inviting you to stay for xmas day. Major red flags here. Please think about it - how would you advise a friend who told you this.

Are you actually going to stay with him after all this?

@drinkribeina

What's more bizarre is that he has invited me to stay overnight there for Xmas Eve but seems to expect me to leave before the Christmas dinner

Now that is weird. Do they not have enough good plates or decent cutlery something?

He doesn't give a toss about you. Just dump him, send the PS5 back and treat yourself.

You are worth more than this OP. A lot more.

Get a refund on the games console and tell his sister she needs to buy him something else. Dump him. Now.
My jaw is on the floor. I'm hurt for you and I don't even know you. Get dating straight away and I hope you have a lovely date on Christmas Eve.

Hmmm, he's an arse.

But, I would say he knows about the gift, wants you there Xmas morning to make sure he gets it. Then plans to spend day on it, possibly with sister or with sisters partner.

Mum probably has no idea of the plan.

Fuck him. Get the ps5 on eBay and take yourself in a winter holiday.

If it's a PS5 or the new Xbox, I'll take it off your hands so don't worry about that!

Totally agree with the others though - he's a total waste of space who really couldn't care less about you.

I have to ask, has he bought you an equally expensive present? Not that you should give to receive, but I'm guessing not.

Yes it's one of the new games consoles. He does know he's getting it for Christmas.

[quote drinkribeina]@AcornAutumn I haven't given him an answer about Xmas Eve yet! [/quote]
You can tell him to PFO or you could deliver it to the sound of music

So long
Farewell
Aufwiedersehn
Goodbye
Adeiu
Adeiu Adeiu
To yieu and yieu and yieu
So long
Farewell
Au 'voire
Aufwiedersehn

More fool you.
Give the console to one of your children and don't waste money on this selfish man.
KMT

@drinkribeina

Yes it's one of the new games consoles. He does know he's getting it for Christmas.

What kind of things does he get you for birthdays and Christmas. Hopefully something equally extravagant ?