Not invited to Parter's Christmas

[drinkribeina]

I may be being unreasonable here, and if so then please say!

Been with DP 3 years, both have kids, none together. We don't live together.

Every year DP spends Christmas Day at his Mums, with his older sister and her partner. I usually go to my parents. This year they have said they do not want me to go as my Dad is elderly and they are worried about catching Covid.

I will be spending Christmas Day on my own. My DP has not invited me to his Mum's for the day (I get on very well with his family and do an awful lot for his Mum). His Dad died a few years back.

Am I wrong for thinking it would be nice for DP to invite me to spend it with him and his family rather than let me spend it alone?

You're invited over the night before so he can take the sex and take delivery of the game console and then you are invited to get the fuck out.

Oh dear.

@missbipolar

If you go to the his then his sister and her partner wouldn't also be able to go to his parents and then there's also the added issues with the kids going between. This year isn't as straight forward as others.

She's in a bubble with her DP, so they're 'one household'

@Sexnotgender

Then have a serious conversation with him.

You want me to stay on Christmas Eve, then go home alone to an empty house on Christmas Day? Is that right?

Then leave space, don’t fill the silence for him.

This.

💐

I feel really sad for you, OP. You must be hurt.
I agree with the majority, you need to end this relationship.

He’s like a giant child who wants his games console to open on Christmas morning & then you can go home to spend the rest of Christmas Day on your own. Only you know why you are putting up with this treatment OP.

What kind of presents does he buy you OP?

So... he wants you around on Christmas Eve to sleep with him but you have to fuck off before the actual Christmas celebrations start and spend the day on your own (or wherever, he doesn't care) and in return for this behaviour you are getting him a really big and expensive present?? Why are you getting someone with so little consideration for you something so expensive and demanding so much effort? The levels of commitment in this relationship are completely unbalanced. This man is playing you. It is time to give your head a shake and look at who he actually is. Give his present to your kids or resell it to someone.

@drinkribeina

I have met his ex on a few occasions and she has always been polite. I have spent plenty of time with his DC too so it's not a case of him keeping things quiet.

Yes games console is correct!

They're as rare as hens' teeth right now!

Sell it. You'll make a profit.

Bet he hasn't got you anything like that

Yes, he wants you there on Christmas morning so that he can have his present, then he wants you to just fuck off.

So you’ve got him an expensive games console but he doesn’t actually want to spend Christmas with you.

Why are you bothering?

He’s a pathetic mummy’s boy
On what planet is that even remotely sexy

I bet his present to you is cheap shite perfume and petrol station flowers.

Sell the ps5 and go on a long spa weekend with a good friend.

Yeah, I'm also wondering what he got you?

Pop the bubble.

Sell the console

Tell him to give you your key back & take whatever crap he has at yours.

Find your self esteem.

Plan a lovely Cday at home & make plans for things you want to do post Covid.

You deserve SO much more than his scraps!!

I'm spending CD on my own -absolutely looking forward to it. What I want, when I want! Christmas Films, Christmas Music etc etc. Probably need to turn the phone & iPad off to get a bit of peace!! 🤪

I’d just tell his mum you’re alone for Xmas day and see what she says. Very odd behaviour.

He doesn't deserve the games console he's earned coal as his Christmas gift but not in his stocking but as an enema stuck very high where the sun doesn't shine

Just seen you brought him a ps5 he just wants his present and then for you to fuck off. Sell it and bin him off. You can do better.

@Cheeseboardandmincepies

I’d just tell his mum you’re alone for Xmas day and see what she says. Very odd behaviour.

But the thing is, his mum will then invite her. The relationship between the OP and her boyfriend will still be shit, it's just that she'll have Christmas dinner with his mum and he'll have his present.

He really, really doesn't deserve that present.

You've seen him for what he is, now. Sell the present and stay with your friend. Spend the money on her if you want, but don't let him benefit.

Get a refund on the games console...

Oh come on op. Seriously he's treating you like absolute shit and you're going to reward him with a fucking console? Tell him to fuck off and get him out of your life. Your kids see this you know.

What it comes down to OP, is that the way you see the relationship isn't the way he sees it. You describe him as your partner (and stuff the arguments about whether you have to live together to be partners) because that's how you feel about him. You buy him an expensive present**, you feed him, you shag him (I assume) because you believe you're in a two way relationship. He sees you as...somebody who gives him presents, feeds him, and shags him. But for him there isn't a relationship, no truly emotional connection, you're just handy to have around. And when he gets a better offer (Christmas at his mum's) you are dropped like the proverbial hot potato.

Your feeling that as far as he was concerned Christmas is your problem to solve, nothing to do with him, is right. Because that's exactly how he feels.

Please dump him and find someone who will be your partner just as much as you will be his.

** I know you don't give to receive and all that, but you would hope he'd also want to get you something meaningful, whether or not it was expensive. But somehow I'm betting on a Bayliss and Harding set or similar, if indeed you were to get anything.

It's the lack of communication about this that gets me. Very hurtful that he hasn't even included you or talked to you about it. This year there is probably a lot of these awkward issues happening in families.

I'm in an awkward position like this - my partner hasn't seen my mum since last boxing day, and I don't know if he should come for christmas this year. We don't live together and he lives in a house share with 5 other people. My mum is in her 80s so I just think it would be too risky for her to have him along. His family lives abroad and if he doesn't come to ours on xmas he'll be all alone. I've told him about this, and how I feel unsure if he should come or not and he said, don't worry I'll be fine. He doesn't actually care about christmas anyway (atheist), but I still feel guilty about the whole situation.

People will be queuing to buy the console off you op - at a healthy profit. Ditch the mummy’s boy and buy yourself an amazing bag.

Yes that's very odd .. sorry! You'll literally be alone and hes not even bothered

From the OPs answers it seems like she has no balls and no intention of growing a pair and putting this prick in his place.

No doubt we will see on you here for many years to come with loads of different examples of how hes a thoughtless arse hole asking for a advice which you won't take.

@CoronaIsWatching

Can't you just appreciate the opportunity for some peace and quiet. A lot of us would love xmas day alone

And a lot of us like OP would hate to spend Xmas day alone.