I’m 35, he’s 40. Been together 15 months.
Told him from the start I was looking for a husband to start a family with. Didn’t seem to put him off. He was very keen in the beginning and said he loved me a few months in.
Yet 6 months later he was unsure as he didn’t know if he fancied me enough as I put on some weight. He seems to have an avoidant attachment / commitment phobic behaviour whereby in previous relationships he’d always find a fault with his partner. Not sure if he’s even aware of it.
Few months ago, I asked him if he loved me, and saw a future with me, he said he does potentially - he just wants me to work out more.
It’s been hard to work out at home, I struggle with the motivation side. When I have the vaccine, I’ll be back at the gym.
But I do worry about the longevity of this relationship. I’m a size 12, my BMI is still healthy, I’m just not as toned as before. He won’t have sex with me but I doubt it’s my weight - he seems to have ED.
What will happen when I have babies?
I’m told I’m a very attractive woman and when I met his friends, they told him he should marry me immediately! Ie suggesting I’m a catch.
Otherwise things are ok between us.
Just wondering even when I get back into shape, will he still be non commital?
Am I being deluded that this relationship will lead to marriage? Surely shouldn’t he know now if I am the one for him? If so, I’m clearly not?
I’ve broken things off a few times but he’s desperate to stay together.
I’m looking for possible solutions here please, I know most of you will say LTB, but he’s everything I’m looking for except this
- which I know is a big deal, I’m not going to minimise.
It’s hard to come across men I actually like at my age. There are obviously many good parts to him, otherwise I’d have left by now.
Just trying to see if there’s a way forward here and if anyone else has gone through the same.
Thanks 