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Original poster

What to think? Affair?

386 replies

Boorosie · 23/11/2020 21:47

So, i am in a state of utter confusion. My husbands email was open on joint laptop and i noticed an order placed earlier today with Lovehoney. To be delivered to a different address about 5 miles away tomorrow. We have not had a sexual relationship for a few years so i am 100% sure i am not the intended recipient. All seems.a.bit surreal and i have never for one second beleive my husband capable of infidelity, bit i dont honestly.know wjat else to think.any thoughts other than the glaringly obvious? 😪

OP posts:
louise4754 · 01/02/2021 20:47

How does*

MrDarcysMa · 01/02/2021 21:07

Well he's obviously lying as the first purchase was 7 months before this supposed 'blackmail' started....
Have you seen any other signs of affair? Even something like suddenly wanting to get in shape.

I'm so sorry op but surely with no sex for years and him clearly lying to you there's not much worth hanging on to. You deserve better.

Noodle765 · 01/02/2021 21:16

What is his response to the March orders?

PegasusReturns · 01/02/2021 21:20

This is absurd.

You know it’s absurd.

He definitely knows it’s absurd.

I’m really sorry. Do you want the relationship to continue?

Remona · 01/02/2021 21:35

Good grief. I’ve never heard such a load of old codswallop in my life. And he really expects you to believe that fairy story?

After seeing the email he realised as you were acting differently and that was the best, most plausible story he could concoct. I’d have laughed in his face. He’s insulting your intelligence.

People who have affairs don’t just immediately confess to it when confronted. They lie and make up a story just as he’s done. You need to consider your own future and whether you want to stay in this marriage because it’s clear he’s having a relationship with someone else. Be strong.

2andahalfpints · 01/02/2021 21:36

Did you ask about the March orders?

babbaloushka · 01/02/2021 21:44

He's absolutely bullshitting OP, his story makes no sense with the context of the March orders.

Jsnn · 01/02/2021 21:49

When you have decided to end that part of your relationship and one pursues one elsewhere. Is it even cheating at that point?

He should be straight with you about it though. Definitely being dishonest. Not sure why people make up these crazy stories when they get caught.

Original poster
Boorosie · 01/02/2021 21:52

So, I asked about March orders...he said there were no march orders.. I told him not to lie to me,, and asked again , he said he didn't know what I was talking about. I the told him to stop with the lies, I have photos of email orders from March, at that point he told me that this" thing..blackmail not blackmail " had been going on a lot longer..started as a jokey thing. He has point blank denied an affair, stated he never leaves the house.. true! I have questioned why he didn't tell me before, and how he could have done such stupid things.. he explained that he doesn't know and was sorry. He said he ordered the other items for this guy, and dropped them at certain locations, all the information he's giving makes sense.
So , I don't know.
My.gut is telling me he's being truthful

OP posts:
Dadandahalf · 01/02/2021 21:58

He directly lied to you about whether there were any orders in March, and only changed his story when you made clear you had photographic evidence. I'm afraid to say that if your gut is telling you that he's being truthful, you might need a new gut.

LookMoreCloselier · 01/02/2021 21:59

How does all the information he's giving make sense? It makes no sense, sorry but he's a complete liar. He lied to you when you asked him about March orders then when he realised you had proof he elaborated on his earlier lie. Why on earth would someone blackmail someone to buy sex toys, drop them at different locations and then pay them back. It's bonkers.

TardisThroughTime · 01/02/2021 21:59

HES LYING OP

Henio · 01/02/2021 22:02

This is all very bizarre! I don't belive the blackmailing story at all, I'm thinking he could be buying things for a woman he chats to online or calls maybe?

stillonthattightrope · 01/02/2021 22:05

It's bullshit, he's lying. If he was being honest about the blackmail he'd have been honest about the previous deliveries.

My best is that he's either met up with this woman or she's used the toys and sent him pictures/video.

RogueV · 01/02/2021 22:10

Wow. He’s bullshitting you OP.

SortingItOut · 01/02/2021 22:11

On onlyfans some women encourage men to send them sex toys as presents and then they will do 1 on 1 camming...all at a cost of course.

Do you have access to his bank account?
Any odd transfers or cash withdrawals?

dancemom · 01/02/2021 22:11

Op in the nicest possible way, you're deluding yourself.

You know he's lying, no one blackmails a colleague to order sex toys. They just don't.

But if you want to pretend it's all true than carry on.

FoxgloveBee · 01/02/2021 22:12

Sorry to be forward, but was it a strap on or something to that effect?

harknesswitch · 01/02/2021 22:13

Well he's lied to you several times already, he's lied about the blackmail when it happened, lying by omission is still lying, he told you that the blackmail started in October, well that's another lie as you know he's placed orders in March, now he's been caught out with that lie he's telling you the blackmailing started in March.

And let's face it op, being blackmailed and asked to order sex toys - don't you think it sounds a tad far fetched. Because let's face it, unless he's assaulted someone at work or embezzled ££s at work I'm struggling to think what he might have done for some to blackmail him. And why is he being asked to order sex toys, why not ask for money or expensive items.

He's lying OP

LucyLockdown · 01/02/2021 22:13

It’s 2021, OP. People buy their own sex toys.

singlemummanurse · 01/02/2021 22:14

It's probably sex cams or onlyfans. He buys them, sends them to the women then gets to watch the vids. Either that or they are sex toys for him and he's embarrassed so making up some elaborate lie. There is zero probability that he is telling the truth. You have blinders on cos you want it to be the truth, understandably cos that might blow your family apart. I mean even what you wrote the first time is different to the 2nd story he "elaborated" on when caught out on the other orders. I wouldn't be able to trust him again.

ladymuck111 · 01/02/2021 22:14

He's lying to you. If he was being truthful he wouldn't have let you wonder all this time before asking him. He's had lots of time to construct an elaborate cover up. And he's lied to your face about March, then he's backtracked and said it's gone on for longer.

He's taking you for a ride.

babbaloushka · 01/02/2021 22:21

You can now be certain that he's lying, he lied to your face.

CommanderBurnham · 01/02/2021 22:23

You might want to speak to this guy that he's talking about.

Actupfishy · 01/02/2021 22:23

In the nicest possible way OP - HE IS LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH!

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