I've never been 'in each other's pockets' with anyone I've dated. Even before the children. I have my own friends, I have hobbies etc. Since I split up with their dad, I've prioritised them because I thought that was the right thing to do.
Tbh, I think their attitude towards me has become worse since lockdown when we're all in together and i havent been out as much. I think they've just got used to me being around. Work is very full on generally and is worse at the moment so there's also that. I've worked part time over the past few years to be there more for them and have had a full time job for the past 12 months so that's impacted too. My son has some additional need that are well managed now and he's independent other than still living at home. They've never had a problem with me going out at weekends or seeing friends. Tbh, they've never complained about me seeing a boyfriend before either.
In the past 8 years, I've dated 4 men for between 4 and 10 months. They've met two of them. None has ever stayed overnight here.
I think they see their dad as being more stable and settled because he's had one partner for all that time. They get on well with her and she treats them well.
My son has very much become a big fish in a small pond at home and I think that's impacting on the youngest too. He's planning on moving out next year to live with a friend.
There is a particular political issue we disagree on. He is obviously right because he's young, 'progressive', ideological and has little life experience. I'm obviously wrong because I'm old, and informed by experience and think for myself and that has definitely had an impact on our relationship.
Otherwise, they are both lovely people. They are well behaved, thoughtful, treat other people well, no issues at school and have good boundaries with friends. I've raised them single handedly. They've seen their dad alternate weekends but he's a bit of a disney dad and hasnt really got involved with the parenting side of things.
Having said that, I'm the one they talk to and confide in because I'm the one they trust. He's good for a Michelin starred restaurant or an evening of online video gaming but he rarely challenges them and manipulates them - which they are aware of because they can see it. They are frustrated by this as much as they enjoy it.
The issue this Saturday is that they both think that, because she has said she doesn't want me to go to my boyfriend's house on Saturday night, I should stay at home. But I have one evening when its possible. If I don't see him Saturday night then I won't get chance to spend a proper evening with him until next weekend.
They suggested I see him tonight instead but I'm usually in bed and asleep by 10pm on a Friday after work which is late enough to have spent the evening with my daughter but not late enough to get home, cook dinner, shower, change and then get to his.
They now think that I should see him alternate weekends when she's at her dad's and that's all. I saw him midweek this week and they made noises about that but didn't explicitly object.