Dating Thread 196 - Winter Wonderland Walks

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Same message @DudefromThatLondon as in copy and paste?

Yep, identical!

@DudefromThatLondon hmmm that’s a bit weird in my opinion.

@DudefromThatLondon

Have you chatted about anything else/exchanged phone numbers/had a phone call? Are the photos realistic or amazingly hot?

How many messages in total have you exchanged? I’m all for not having too many messages before meeting but also I agree it could be fishy.

(Phone call might be easiest way to verify?)

About 10 messages in total, one asking what I was looking for etc... and the rest just a bit of chit chat. Wasn’t really trying to get an online chat going just the usual basics. Agree with moving things quite quickly but haven’t exchanged numbers so can’t call. I think she’s most likely real! Does look quite hot actually...

@DudefromThatLondon

Yeh it kind of sounds a little bit like my communication technique - I look like my photos, I’m not dodgy (hopefully!) I just like to close on the meet rather than chat for ages?

I still think it might be an idea to get a phone number though.

If you did meet, would you be hugely going out of your way/arranging childcare/cancelling other plans

or are you quite flexible socially anyway so it’s “no skin of your nose” if it’s a dud?

It’s nae too much bother, and I don’t mind if it’s a dud... just comes across as a bit passive aggressive. Also told me to meet in a particular place so wondering if she’ll vamoose if doesn’t approve...

Too clinical for me @DudefromThatLondon, nothing being mutually determined

Yeh I agree with @HairyArsedMan it’s not even a gender thing just a bit “lacking in flexibility” really?

Plus it’s rude not not give a polite explanation like “I’d prefer not to meet in a pub because I’m worried about transmission” or something, just a summons.

I’m sure if she’d said she didn’t want to meet in Y pub for a given reason you’d be 100% fine going her way and feel a lot better about things?

Manners maketh the man (or woman in this case) and if you’re already feeling tense before meeting...

I had a match message me twice yesterday on text message (we had been chatting on whatsapp) thinking I was someone else and from content it appeared to be meeting a date 🤣 i replied wrong person and he replied "that's ok". Then did it again when he had arrived to meet her so I replied again saying "still wrong person" 🤣 I presume the date went well as he'd unmatched over night and deleted me from contacts - oh well, it wasn't boding well as a good match if he couldn't even get messaging correct person right 🤣

sloth that's really funny. Annoying, but funny that you had to tell him twice that you were not the one he was meeting up with.

dude something doesn't smell right, it's a bit meet-by-numbers...

bunkbed I actually came on to see if you'd had a reply from Mr C yet! I need cheering up and that would do it. Yes, overinvesting of course...

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Thanks for asking he replied with some photos of local Angolan street scenes I’d asked him to take. And some random compliments.

I think communication is just a bit tense as obviously it’s a big change of routine and whereas before it was just “oh he’s working so he CAN’T message” now it’s like “oh he’s NOT working so WHY isn’t he messaging?”

(I think tbh he MIGHT be sneaking out for a bender tonight/enjoying being tourist for a while, but maybe the best strategy on this is “don’t ask don’t tell”?)

He’s still on to fly back tomorrow night but might be a bit tight pushing to meet ASAP so might be a couple days after that.

(Lol after all this build up what if we meet and it’s like . I’ll just have to have a good cry then recycle all the cute photos I sent him for my new app profile)

@Slothmomma sometimes online dating is like being thrown into a giant arena of social inepts and weirdos....

Well it did make me and my friends laugh 🤣

Can someone who uses POF give me a small clue how it works pls? I'm totally confused having downloaded for first time.
I've always been exclusively Tinder but my buddy was amazed I hadn't tried POF but I don't get how it works.

You swipe left or right but you can message directly? So what's the point in swiping?

#easilyconfused

MrC not back till fucking Monday actually the flight starts on Sunday evening - I’ve tried not to flounce but basically just told him to let me know when he’s in town 😬

My temp contract finishes on Wednesday so tbh I might just say “meet on Wednesday night” to avoid feeling like I’m just “on-call”. Ok that might be a tiny flounce

@Ruralbliss
As far as I recall the swipe feature is just a “would like to meet”.

Kind of meaningless if you/they can already message people directly! You can set filters on who contacts you.

. I used to message guys who I “matched” with that way but tbh they were clearly just already directly messaging/prioritising others and not that enthusiastic so it trickled off.

I think people can see who views them so that’s a way of showing interest too - if you enthusiastically view/search you’ll get messages from those you’ve viewed.

Oh @Slothmomma blimey!

Ok date over - 1-5.30pm and he said ‘hopefully see you again’ and a hug at the end but no kiss. What do I do now? He said he’s going to see his bubble this evening - just leave it/send a message

bunkbed the suspense must be unbearable!🤣 Here's hoping for a meetup that lives up to expectation, very soon.

rural can't help you cos I don't remember, but I met a very shaggable local on there last year and three months of fun ensued 🤣🤣

Ah bunkbed hadn't seen your update. I would suggest meeting Wednesday. You've done a lot of waiting, he surely won't mind waiting until it suits you.

lurker "hope to see you again" is possibly a bit meh. I would flush him out by sending him a breezy 'lovely to meet you, let me know when you're around to do it again'-type message and see what happens.

@WeWantTheFinestWines did feel quite as breezy as that makes it sound. Felt a bit flirty but will try to leave it and send a message tomorrow if I don’t hear anything - fingers crossed I do! He said he’s going to see his bubble this eve and was def a flirty couple of hours. We’ll see

*didnt.
This was a second date

Thanks all. I think that’s it; lack of dialogue, basically a bit rude and feels a bit like a process / conveyor belt. And yeah @Ruralbliss would be more than happy to rearrange to whatever comfortable with. Tempted to go along anyway but perhaps I should give it a miss.

@Ruralbliss, as I remember it I think you just search and message people rather than use their swipe thing.

@LongtimelurkerL - sounds a good long date but neither here nor there at the end. Think a breezy message might do it also. If you’re interested that is.

longtimelurker like wewantthefinestwines id probably just send a "had a nice time, let me know if you fancy doing it again" type text.

Well they're all out on tinder today - weirdos that is - first message from new match - "hi, might sound like a weird question but how are you at burping? I really like to hear women loud burps" 🤦‍♀️ and unmatch