Food. I'm teeny, tiny me <simpers> aren't I lucky - because I have CHRONIC PAIN. DH comments on what I eat.

[MrsGRamsay]

Because of chronic joint pain I find it hard to take on sufficient calories. My DH is a good bloke - does 99% of housework etc and has learnt to cook. He's naturally slim. He will have bread with every meal 'Toast and marmite for breakfast?! Not the same without some Sourdough and cheese on the side!'; we could have Sushi and he'd crowbar a couple of slices of sourdough in.

However, I've noticed that if I admit to a hint of appetite he'll comment on how hefty the dish was, how there was enough in 'one portion' to share for two etc. I've just come back from a over a week in hospital where one nurse (lovely lady) really tried to get me to eat and have lost even more weight

Dunno

I can’t understand why everyone thinks a husband who eats a lot of sour dough bread to fill himself up is somehow abusive.

That's not the issue.

It all there in the OP

However, I've noticed that if I admit to a hint of appetite he'll comment on how hefty the dish was, how there was enough in 'one portion' to share for two etc.

She is underweight, lost more weight when in hospital and her husband is now making digs about how much she is eating. Wrong no?

I just think this is a joke post.
If you look at OPs posting history she is so much more articulate than this post and has not previously mentioned any health problems.

@tenlittlecygnets

Why does joint pain mean you find it hard to take on calories?

Perhaps you should talk plainly to your dh? Leaving out the simpering?

Pain causes stress, stress can reduce appetite severely. It isn't brain surgery, really it isn't. That isnt even taken medication side effects into account.

@MrsGRamsay your post comes across strangely because I suspect you feel awkward mentioning you are underweight, since many people think that's desirable. It can be awfully confusing, i completely get it. I have a condition that causes chronic pain and have had eating issues for most of my life due to the pain, absolutely understand where you are coming from. It's shit.

Am I understanding correctly that your husband gets funny with you when you have an appetite? Is that what is bothering you?

@SilverBirchWithout

I just think this is a joke post. If you look at OPs posting history she is so much more articulate than this post and has not previously mentioned any health problems.

Hells teeth, I did take a look and yes, you're right.

FFS, I am a scrawny fucker due to the aforementioned RA (not teeny tiny, more like a lamp post) and I look and feel dreadful. Really not something to joke about.

@MrsGRamsay - wtf is with all the simpering and teeny/tiny rubbish? (Disclosure - I'm small, 5'1, 7 stone)

Ffs, say what you need to, ask for the help you want.

Right all. I was having a rant, ok? Probably a bit befuddled because of all the drugs but nonetheless, a rant. We've all seen plenty of those here.

I was trying to disassociate myself from the "ooh, look at me, I'm teeny / tiny" brigade (a couple emerged already); the ones that can be scooped under one manly arm and carried off on a rampant Stallion to McDonalds be ravished; fear not, I would fight for my virtue by pounding my teeny / tiny fists against his broad, swarthy chest.

Dear Reader, please be assured I am not some "Clarissa" type waif, wasting away on my Chaise Longe - more like a scrawny necked harridan sitting on IKEA Sofa trying to slurp down some Soup without being told "we might as well save the remaining half tin, you'll never manage it. In fact, I might as well eat with a Sourdough Cheese Toastie with a side of Sourdough".

The Joint condition doesn't stop me eating - the pain does. I'm one of those people who finds it difficult to eat if poorly but nigh on impossible if in pain.

Sorry you got the reception you got. Is your dh like this over other things? He sounds quite unsympathetic and unsupportive.

@S00LA

I think the OP is worried that she will be accused of stealth boasting for saying that she is underweight.

She is pointing out that’s it’s because of her health problems and not her choice.

I think the teeny tiny bit is her being sarcastic and a joke.

Sorry if I’ve got that wrong OP.

I agree with this. He sounds a bit strange tbh!

I used to care for an elderly lady with dementia who was severely underweight. She was physically very fit but had no interest in food. Every single time I managed to get her eating something, her husband would come in and start saying things like 'oooh, you're really tucking into that', 'You enjoying stuffing your face, Mary', ' leave some for the rest of us', 'should we get you a trough' etc. It was so infuriating, I tried to feed her apart from him but it was his home too.

Weird and controlling. Sorry OP, I cannot understand why people are like this. Are you happy with him otherwise?

He sounds like a controlling arse and not an all round great husband at all. Tell him to fuck off, I’m eating!

It was entirely clear what the OP was about, not sure why all the demands for it to be rewritten

The OP was entirely self deprecating because if you say on any thread you have a low BMI and struggle to put weight on everyone jumps on you to say what a stealth boast it is

Agree tell him to fuck off and to pass the butter before he goes! Sorry you are in pain - agree with PP that you should wipe the toilet bowl with his sour dough. Alternatively practice your hard stare and repeat get the fuck away from my soup. If he says you’ll never manage it, just keep repeating that same phrase - perhaps with a small growl.

OP just speak normally and stop trying to be witty/ sarcastic.

You don’t have the instinct for writing like that and it just sounds mad. Not a rant. Just really badly over-written try hard. You’re overdoing all the references and one ‘oh I’m tiny’ would have got your point across in a less ham-fisted way. That’s what people have responded to.

Your dh is a total dick.

OP I thought your first message made sense and your second was rather funny. I'm concerned you DH is either a greedy pig who just assumes that because you're wee, you don't need the food he wants. Or, worse, he likes you being small and weak. Either way, I don't like him. You may need a serious conversation with him about food, and how frustrating and hurtful his comments are. Good luck.

In my defense, I've never seen any of the negative responses to people saying they're thin on here before that people are mentioning. Perhaps that's why it threw me so much, I had no idea that was a thing.

Like @WunWun I’d never seen these ‘teeny tiny’ threads before and I’ve been on MN 12 years! Why do people think someone who is underweight is boasting? Why do women buy in so hard to the ‘slim is the only acceptable reality’ patriarchal bullshit? Extraordinary.

OP how dreadful that your pain is so bad you can’t eat, then your dick of a DH has a stealth go if you do eat. I’m sorry.

Is your husband always a cunt?

Have you been able to turn that rant on your husband, OP? It does sound like he needs to hear it.

@YoniAndGuy

OP just speak normally and stop trying to be witty/ sarcastic.

You don’t have the instinct for writing like that and it just sounds mad. Not a rant. Just really badly over-written try hard. You’re overdoing all the references and one ‘oh I’m tiny’ would have got your point across in a less ham-fisted way. That’s what people have responded to.

Your dh is a total dick.

I'm sure the vulnerable and in-pain OP doesn't need your critique of her writing style. Condescending bullying.

@Ploki

If you want to eat, eat. Men are not subtle creatures. Speak plainly and firmly to him. Simple commands are best, such as "give me food".

Or "Stop commenting on my dinner, you bastard"

Just tell him that the nurse and doctor have both told you that you need to put on weight so his comments aren't helpful.

However, I've noticed that if I admit to a hint of appetite he'll comment on how hefty the dish was

Well, then he's a cunt that should be ignored. But why all the references to how much bread he eats? Strange.

"And Dear Reader" is not witty, just irritating. Sorry.

Is it only sourdough he eats?