Food. I'm teeny, tiny me <simpers> aren't I lucky - because I have CHRONIC PAIN. DH comments on what I eat.

[MrsGRamsay]

Because of chronic joint pain I find it hard to take on sufficient calories. My DH is a good bloke - does 99% of housework etc and has learnt to cook. He's naturally slim. He will have bread with every meal 'Toast and marmite for breakfast?! Not the same without some Sourdough and cheese on the side!'; we could have Sushi and he'd crowbar a couple of slices of sourdough in.

However, I've noticed that if I admit to a hint of appetite he'll comment on how hefty the dish was, how there was enough in 'one portion' to share for two etc. I've just come back from a over a week in hospital where one nurse (lovely lady) really tried to get me to eat and have lost even more weight

Maybe just dead pan look your less than D h and say "do you think I need to loose more weight? Is my current weight issue for you? Isnt there enough left for you? What is the issue here?"

Maybe he is a greedy pig and wants to eat your food? Maybe he just a thoughtless dick who is brain farting out of his mouth without engaging his brain?

I have no idea what this is about.

Crikey, if you "can't understand" the post, just move on, don't demand it's rewritten to suit your tastes.

OP, your dh doesn't sound very sympathetic or supportive regarding your health. Is your relationship good in other respects or does he undercut you in other areas, make you feel not good enough?

Why does joint pain mean you find it hard to take on calories?

For me (rheumatoid arthritis) joint pain means it can be difficult to load my fork up. At times, it's a job just keeping the food on the bloody plate. Spoons can be tricky when your hands or wrists are on fire. When your joints are screeching at you, sometimes you're just not hungry too.

For some, the medication they are on for joint pain means they are off their food. Methotrexate, for example, can make you as sick as a dog.

Anyhow OP, I could be wrong as I'll admit your post is a bit hard to follow (painkillers?) but I'm getting the impression that when he says there's enough for two, he's hinting that he wants some of the food too.

Have you any idea what your DH is trying to do by making these comments OP?
Is he trying to keep you ill and weak as a means of control perhaps? Or to gaslight you by trying to make out you are greedy/eating too much despite the fact you need to gain weight?

Is he maybe resentful of your illness maybe?

I do agree with the posters who say he isn’t a good bloke if he’s got these issues around your food intake and is making you feel bad.

It’s not ok for him to be doing this. He needs to stop.

It makes sense to me, not sure why people are being cruel here.

Commenting negatively on an underweight person eating is really shit and potentially dangerous. I am not sure what to advise, but he is in the wrong here.

However, I've noticed that if I admit to a hint of appetite he'll comment on how hefty the dish was

This is really toxic OP. I think he likes the idea of you being little. Please let it wash off you, and/or tell him to fuck off when he makes these comments. Well actually, remind him that medically you need to try and put on weight or keep weight on.

Is he trying to split one portion of food and basically eating half your serving plus slices of bread? That is awful in any case, worse if you are trying to gain weight.

I might be projecting. One of my siblings cannot bear to be left out of food. Regardless of how full they are, they will need to join in with whatever is on offer. They are simply greedy and selfish about food and take more than a fair share. An example would be, if some had a sandwich, they would have one toi. If someone came in 10 minutes later and had stew, they would join in. If that person had seconds, so would they. They have been like that all of their life. If one pie each was bought as dinner, they would have one for a snack and expect another for dinner.

When I'm in pain from adenomyosis on a bad period day, I'm puking slumped on the floor or writhing in bed. So yeah, conditions that involve chronic pain can disrupt one's ability to eat.

OP do you think your partner's approach to your eating is 'just' thoughtlessness, because he's so used to you not being able to eat much?

Or do you think it's something more sinister?

Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? What does he say?

I,m intrigued.

Read it twice and could make a million different assumptions.

OP please post again and give further details.

OP hasn’t been back to confirm she’s being sarcastic or warding anything off. Maybe she is actually posting like that for some other reason?

U ok hun?

If your H is discouraging you from eating then you should probably practice building fuck off you controlling knob into your vocabulary.

I,m intrigued.

Read it twice and could make a million different assumptions

In an unusual fit of tolerance, I too read it twice and found it improved upon rereading if you omit most of the stuff in parenthesis and .

With some hesitation (because it's so unclear), I would err on the side of saying he sounds controlling.

Jaw pain can make it difficult to eat. It's when you get joint problems that you realise just how many joints the body has to rely on, and therefore how many can be affected by systemic illness.

It's not that clear to me what the post is about, because it seems very strange that a pig of a husband would hint that an underweight wife that hardly eats is eating too much. Have I misunderstood the post?

You're quite good at self depreciating sarcasm. Use it on your DH when he starts trying to make you feel bad. If you feel you are frightened to do this then you are going to need to make a move to leave him otherwise you will never get well due to your body needing calories to heal.

Unless it is that this is a stealth boast of some sort. I don't get the I'm teeny tiny. I have an ED (in fragile recovery) and I'd be mortified if I mentioned that I'm 'teeny tiny' to anyone in case they mentioned my weight or appearance.

So if he starts commenting on what you're eating, what happens if you just tell him to fuck off?

I have chronic pain and I'm fat as fuck as unable to do any calory burning exercise. Any tips gratefully received.

That sound super unhealthy (his attitude not yours). Every time he makes a comment say that you need to eat when you are able because you are underweight and unwell. His attitude is disturbing. I think I understand why you felt the need to be self deprecating - but you shouldnt need to apologise for being unwell/underweight/borderline underweight in case other women are jealous. That really does demondtrate how fucked up societys relationship with healthy body wieght is.
That aside his attitude is disturbing, Please ignore him or if possible get your own supply of easy food in if he persists so that you arent dependant on his cooking whilst unwell. If he doesnt change I would seriously suggest LTB, though I understand that can be easier said than done!

I only said I have no idea what it is about.
I haven't demanded for it to be re-written.
I read it 3 times and am still unsure what the OP was saying. No doubt posters who understand will be able to assist, if that is what is needed. I clearly missed something, but it appears I am not alone.

Just tell him to fuck off and eat what you want.

Looking at the OPs username, Isn’t this just a (not particularly witty) piss take about Gordon Ramsay’s wife?
Or perhaps a thread about a thread - being sarcastic about posters who are very thin?
Otherwise it makes no sense, and I can’t understand why everyone thinks a husband who eats a lot of sour dough bread to fill himself up is somehow abusive.

Que?