Hi all,
(Sorry this ended up so incredibly long!)
I wrote a post under a different username a little while ago. Essentially it was about my DH using Facebook to look at women. He's quite proud of the fact he doesn't use SM much, but over the past four months (possibly longer but that's how far back I've seen) he has logged in at least once a week, often more, to trawl through the profiles and photo albums of women he knows and some women he doesn't. It seems when he tires of the ones he knows, he looks through his friends's friend-lists until he happens upon a profile picture of a woman he deems attractive and then searches through her photos and so on.
From his phone search history he practically never looks at male friend profiles or random pages, it seems he goes on FB for the sole purpose of looking at attractive women, often in revealing clothes/swimwear.
I wrote about this on AIBU and while one or two said they wouldn't like it, the general consensus was that he was only looking, not messaging, so it was no big deal. I tried to put it out of my mind and hoped I was overreacting but I felt really unsettled by it as I think it's hugely inappropriate and frankly really creepy. He's almost 40 years old and some of these women are in their twenties. It's also made me paranoid if I see he's logged into FB during the day when he's at work. I've never been a jealous person but it's made me feel horribly insecure.
Anyway, I recently went away for one night to my hometown and he stayed here with our young DCs. When I got back he laughingly told me he'd had three wanks in the time I'd been gone
which was 27 hours in total.
I had a sinking feeling and checked his phone the next day. Sure enough he had spend AGES on FB, more than ever, looking at photo after photo of women. I think it's fair to assume he's using these pictures as wank fodder, isn't it? I feel sick about the whole thing.
He finally figured out about iPhone search history and clicked that I was looking at his phone so has started to erase his history the last couple of weeks. He also took off his password (Ive always known his password so I'm not sure what difference that makes?) and leaves his phone lying around when previously it was glued to him. He doesn't know I've been looking for months though, I imagine he thinks I've only seen the most recent history.
I want to confront him tonight but I don't know what to say. Part of me is still wondering if I'm overreacting? He will 100% get defensive and deflect (never, ever admits wrongdoing) so I want to be prepared and hold my nerve. Does anyone have any advice? Am I still over reacting? WWYD?