Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@onemorerose I'm glad I'm not the only one that loves a bit of house porn, I can spend ages on rightmove just looking.

Good luck with your date too.

I won't have any update tomorrow unfortunately I've been throwing up all afternoon and I had to cancel 🙄

So the date went well, I fancied him and we had a nice walk, beautiful scenery and chatted and laughed. He was easy company. We did have a little kids in the car when he dropped me home and that was also nice 😊 and he’s been texting away all evening as well! Shocker!

Guys
I've been online 17 months and just aren't getting anywhere.

No one grabs me. I've tried match , bumble and pof.
I get loads of interest and messages but I can hand in heart say I've fancied absolutely no one what so ever. I've just blocked 2 I was chatting with because they were so damn needy and wanted to meet despite lockdown. My job would be at risk if I did and I'd explained that yet pressure was mounting.

Just had a message from and incredibly tasty 32 year old but it's clear he is after hook ups despite saying not .
I'm on verge of giving this up and becoming a nun !

Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz sorry to hear your unwell and had to cancel. Hope you feel better soon.
onemorerose Glad your date went well so pleased for you.
fuckedandbombed I wouldn’t go on just photos. I have found that sometimes people take awful photos. I actually said to one guy who had the most beautiful eyes but looking at about six photos of him they just didn’t show. I would say read about them if they sound good give it a try you have nothing to lose.

So I checked with Mr Computer Geek whether we are meeting on the 31st like I suggested the other week, his response was he hopes so but it may be the week after 🙇‍♀️🤷‍♀️. What do I do? Part of me thinks what's another week when I've waited 3 months already(he had better be bloody worth it now). I also know he is now looking at places to live, something is happening in around 4 weeks time (my lodger thinks his decree absolute as when he told me it was two weeks ago and that takes 6 weeks). I wasn't going to give him another chance if he bailed on the 31st but if he gives me a definite date for the following week I have to really and he hasn't bailed yet so I could just be over thinking. 🤷‍♀️

@Angelofdeath thank you. It seems he needs to sort some stuff out where he is first and it's proving difficult(arrangements to do with the children is my guess). I'm not sure why he got back in touch if he didn't intend to meet so maybe he is telling the truth and I just have to not think negatively.

Oh well it's not as if the offers of dates are flooding in and between lockdown and work by the time I can do anything properly he might have sorted himself out.

@Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz are you feeling any better today? Did you make other arrangements?

@fuckedandbombed what are you hoping for if you don’t want to even go for a walk with someone? I really think it’s important to meet early on to see what a person is actually like. If you just want to chat maybe put that in your profile?

@Isitreally777 I’d step back from him if I was you, let him sort himself out and contact you then?

@onemorerose yep that's my thinking too. At some point he will be ready. I said to him back in December come back when you've sorted yourself out(we were both having a tough time) so obviously he thought him moving out meant he was sorted out and it's proving to be not that simple.

Yes I’d definitely step back, I hope he comes through for you but leaving him alone is your best bet I think. Let him pursue you!

Speaking of which, when would you expect a guy to ask for a second date? And if he does ask I guess our only option is to go for another walk or me to ask him round here. He’s new to all this dating and I hesitant in knowing what to do.

@Isitreally777 he is messing you about. It's so clear to see if you look at it objectively. Someone once said match your effort to the effort they make, not how much you like them. He's been consistently inconsistent. He comes back and gives you breadcrumbs because you give him an ego boost. Block him.

Can't see link to new thread ladies but how do you choose who to date ?
I had 115 messages the other day and I just want to hide . Can't deal with it . 🙈

@Angelofdeath that’s pretty much my criteria for chatting as well.

No word of a second date and I’ve got a feeling he’s backing away. He’s quite new on tinder and although he said he didn’t think it was for him he’s probably chatting to other people. Will see what happens today whether he texts me or not. He said he was getting an early night last night, I text him back sometime later saying goodnight and never got a reply so I guess I’ve to wait and see if he texts me this morning?

Hello everyone, not sure if I'm allowed on this thread or if I'd be better to start a new one. I'm 38, will be 39 in early February and am having a very similar experience of online dating to everyone here. I started 10 years ago and found it very easy to get dates with men that looked to be good catches but only a tiny number turned out to be so in reality and nothing has ultimately stuck. Now, 10 years on, just getting a date with someone who can actually hold a conversation is proving to be nearly impossible and I'm at the point of despair. I want to have children but that's becoming less and less likely. Am I allowed on the 40s thread or should I start one for those in their late 30s wanting children do you think? Even if you ultimately think it best that I post elsewhere could I at least visit this thread and ask a few questions, namely where is everyone based? Anyone in London in particular? Or Scotland? I'm currently in central Scotland but would consider moving to London as a last gasp attempt of improving my prospects (I'm self-employed and can work anywhere). And how many of you have experience of OLD from when you were younger? In a way I'm glad I started younger even if it didn't lead to anything as it's shown me that I'm not doing anything wrong other than be the wrong age.

You mean you were 38 when you joined the thread Angel? That's encouraging! I'm barely meeting any men at all to be honest, even before lockdown, so it's hard to say how I'm finding them frustratingly! Although back when I used to get dates I didn't find that was the case too much (unless we have a different idea of party lifestyle?! - I'm an owl so do almost all of my socialising at night and always have done).

That's interesting you get so much interest from London men. But sounds like none of them are viable prospects if you've only had 2 dates way back when. Have they looked promising but ultimately come to nothing or did they just not looked promising in the first place (sorry, read a lot of the thread but not the whole thing so far so feel free to tell me if you've posted about that already - I'll be reading the rest of the thread over the next few days!).

Morning, nothing to report here, zero, nada, ziltch,! We need a new thread!

Oh god yes, I despair at most men's conversation skills. If they can't think of anything engaging to say when they don't know me and there are hundreds of topics and questions that would work well, what's it going to be like after 20, 30, 40 years?!

I've never met anyone who partied like that! Surprised you've met so many but that sounds pretty awful! Shame about the ones who look promising then it all comes to nothing.

@Angelofdeath yes he’s been texting this morning thanks. Which I could stop being so negative!