Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@onemorerose hi!. Yes I agree 100%. I think I'm probably the same too, I stress a bit and it doesnt help. I've chilled a bit since the weekend and hes back to messaging a lot and has rang me a few times too.

@LuckyLinda3 more proof that it works, that’s great. I can start of very relaxed because of, you know past experiences of my own wanky weirdos and my heart being in a cage. Then when I start to like them I lose all my chill and they back off.

I relate @onemorerose!!

Well I am completely fed up and bored! Nobody new is chatting....Ive ran out of people on my app lol! Either their profile pics look like mug shots, or they are married and are looking for "kinky fun!" oh yes please, I would love to get involved with a married man, said nobody ever
One had on his bio that he liked theme parks and drawing, that was it, I like them too, but it made him sound 12!
I wonder how @Isitreally77 is...hope Computer freak hasn't been an arse to her!

I’ve been wondering how @Isitreally77 is too. lol at theme parks and drawing. Check out your app again this evening in the hope of fresh faces?

I’ve got a walking date lined up with someone local this Saturday. I knew him vaguely when we were young and he’s just moved back to the area after a separation. Can’t help hoping we both fancy each other, it would be nice to have something with someone local, there’s not much choice around here.
We’ve been texting a fair bit and spoken on the phone once. I purposefully text him rather than what’s app so I don’t go down the 2 ticks rabbit hole of despair!

Sounds like you have it sussed @onemorerose!! Good plan!

@pineappleonpizzaornot and @onemorerose hello. I'm good (slightly new name as I closed my account as work was getting busy, life getting complicated and I needed to concentrate).

I'm still speaking to Mr Computer Geek, he has moved out, we haven't attempted to meet again, we were meant to but we both ended up working late(I was in interviews all afternoon and could hardly keep my eyes open) and we both bailed. We are supposed to be meeting on the 31st, my idea as I had some shit to deal with to do with my ex and I could tell he was struggling a little as well (wallowing is more apt mind you) so thought a couple of weeks would give us time to deal with our shit. If he bails this time though I think that might be it.

@Isitreally777 that’s probably a good idea to take time out before meeting again and see how you both feel then.

@onemorerose we've just spent the day messaging and I am now wondering why he got back in contact when he obviously isn't ready and everything is still so messed up for him(he has been having a tough few days). He may have moved out but he isn't in any kind of place to meet anyone. I don't see that changing in a week. I don't want to be his agony aunt but that is what it feels like I am today.

@Isitreally777 - We have all had a tough time this last year, and it isn't fair of him to shoulder his problems on to you if he doesn't want anything apart from an ear to moan to when it suits! Pleased your work is busy, think we all need a distraction, I find I start overthinking things when I have quiet period with work. No new faces on my app, same old "wanted" faces, yet for some strange reason I am feeling optimistic (no idea why!)
I got a message from a guy yesterday asking what I was looking for, I hate that question! So thought I would make my reply humorous and said it would be easier to tell him what I didnt want:
A one night stand
A Pervert
A vegan (sorry!)
An Arsehole
A married man
A transvestite
A transgender
A woman
A three-way couple
A mummies boy
An absent Father
A narcissist
A workaholic
An obsessed XBox/PlayStation player
A man with bigger breasts than me
A dwarf
A giant

This obviously was in humor kind of, he replied that he enjoyed reading it and I never heard from him again....wonder which ones he ticked on the list

😂 at your reply @pineappleonpizzaornot and the fact that he didn’t write back. What app are you on?
@Isitreally777 it sounds like you are thinking realistically and sensibly about this guy. I too wouldn’t want to end up feeling like an agony aunt rather than a potential love interest. Where’s the fun in that for you?

@onemorerose - Im just using tinder at the moment....says it all really! I am on POF, but I just get OAP's messaging me telling me how sexy I am and they really want to chat to me....blurgh, so the only button I ever press on that is BLOCK! I paid for Match, that was a pile of crap too, so I unsubscribed! I dont think it matters what site I use, I just attract weirdos! Maybe I should try a woman ! Which sites is everyone else using??

I’m on tinder and I usually hide myself when I’m not swiping, when I unhide low and behold hot guys appear. I think it must be an algorithm or something. The guy I’m meeting tomorrow, I’ll call him Mr Beach, said he had like me a week and a half before we matched. So why tinder showed me him much later I don’t know! Might be worth hiding for a few hours and going back on.
I was on POF a few years ago and hated it, at least with tinder you can vet a bit.

@onemorerose - I didnt even know you could hide yourself? And when you get pick one of the mysterious admirers.....Mine are all older than my age bracket and bloody miles away, so I dont know why I am popping up on theirs??

@pineappleonpizzaornot got to settings, scroll down and turn off show me on tinder. Anyone you’ve liked can still see you but not people you’ve not liked

So chatting with Mr Computer Geek today and he seems a bit more positive. He was talking about buying a house so was picking my brains. I quite enjoy real estate so I was in my element (I'm nosey, think I should have been am Estate agent). Hopefully this upbeat mood of his continues.

@Angelofdeath step away from the phone! Go distract yourself with something. Thanks I hope we like each other he’s been lovely on texts.

@Isitreally777 glad you are getting a bit of positivity from him, I also love house porn!

@Angelofdeath plans are to meet at 3 but we may have to change our walking location if it’s icy or snowy here tomorrow, which is highly likely as I’ve just been out and it’s freezing over already. And we had planned to go along the coast! Not quite Dawson’s creek here mind you 😂 but it is beautiful. I’m watching desperate housewives, to catch up on the seasons I missed first time around, probably not recommended either as they are pretty male focused, and look far too gorgeous at all times lol.
Did you get a reply yet? If not get on and get swiping some more!

So I have a walking date with I will call him mr business tomorrow. I am dying to kiss him it's been so hard not to. I'm not in anyone's bubble. What would you guys do?? He's travelling to my town tomorrow I could invite him to eat at mine. Arghhh the dilemma

@onemorerose 2 ticks rabbit hole of despair! This is me !! OLD is so exhausting , you think your getting somewhere chatting and then nada ( obvs got a better offer ) or they bombard you with messages and you have to block. Recently went back on bumble after was last dating in oct 19 !! I recently was chatting to a guy on bumble and i just find it so stressful , the minute i dont hear from him ive convince myself his about to ghost me , i hate myself for being so pathetic Its the years of being messed around i automatically think the worse is going to happen, i call them the blue ticks of doom whatup has got a lot to answer for 🤦‍♀️

@Angelofdeath it doesn’t sound like you are on tinder because on that you can’t see if a persons online any more? I’ve only tried a couple and it’s my favourite and you can hide your profile if you aren’t swiping. And I’ve learned never to message first. I still do it if I want a bit of chat but it never comes to anything.

@Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz
Is this your first real life meet? I’d kiss him if I thought it was low risk.

@Worthingmumofone there should be a whole thread on this!
What is it that even when a guy has been nice and chatty that if he fails to reply quickly we write him off in our head. It’s insecurity, in my case taught to me by my ex and compounded by men on tinder.
I can’t remember if it was this thread or another that gave me the mantra ‘do not let your past dictate your future”