Is he up to something or am I paranoid?

[Pollydaydream]

Hi all,

New poster here, I'll try not to waffle. This is a bit batty but here we go.

I'm married (together 18 years) with 2 young kids. Hubs and I get on well, he's a great dad, we share housework. I've no complaints.

We work opposite shifts. Last week, while he was sleeping, a message pinged on his phone from Instagram. I don't have that app and didn't know he had it. I opened his phone and found a normal looking Instagram account following all his colleagues, friends and family. When I opened the message though, it was from a woman he's never mentioned before. That would be odd enough, but she's actually quite famous yet he's never mentioned knowing her.

I went back through the messages and found they have spoken almost every day for just over a year. The weird thing is they talk about normal stuff,like how they spent their day of what they're making for supper. There's nothing sexual in there, although there have been a few flirty comments. Eg she had joked about posting bikini pics on holiday and he had replied "well I won't be complaining". He also responds to a lot of her instagram story posts with fire or shocked face emojis. Despite that, there is no sexting or dirty talk, but they seem very close.

I looked further and it turns out they've known each other since they were small children, but he has never mentioned her to me. She wasn't at our wedding and she's never sent a Christmas card. They did text each other on Christmas day and she cheers him on with his work challenges. I looked her up on Facebook and her account is locked, but I could see that he's liked every one of her profile pics from the last decade.

I don't know what to think. There are no dirty pics or bad talk and I know they haven't met up (they joke in their messages about it plus she lives over 300 miles away). The only other thing that is off is she seems to have gone through a break up over the last year, but when I googled her it said she's still married. On the face of it it mainly seems like a lovely supportive friendship, but if that's just what it is, why has he never mentioned her?

Do I need to be concerned or are friendships like this normal? Thank you to anyone who can help with a little insight x

I’ve dated a CBeebies presenter and told my husband as soon as we say him on tv. It would be weird to keep that to myself. I have Instagram and often message back and forth with ex colleagues/male friends and don’t tell my husband because there’s absolutely nothing in it but friendly banter. Insta stories makes it all too easy to hit an emoji in response etc and it’s very common. The “I wouldn’t be complaining” comment is a bit flirty though and “liking” all her roofless pics is a bit creepy.

Imagine if this celeb was on here?

Hi op , hope your doing ok

Imagine if this celeb was on here?

I was thinking that as well, she could even be joining in the conversation.

@brokencrayons

I’ve dated a CBeebies presenter and told my husband as soon as we say him on tv. It would be weird to keep that to myself. I have Instagram and often message back and forth with ex colleagues/male friends and don’t tell my husband because there’s absolutely nothing in it but friendly banter. Insta stories makes it all too easy to hit an emoji in response etc and it’s very common. The “I wouldn’t be complaining” comment is a bit flirty though and “liking” all her roofless pics is a bit creepy.

Blimey that must narrow the field as to who it might be! Aren't most of them gay?

Does anybody else think it could be Jane McDonald ? only issue is she is older , no one else fits the brief .
I Do hope you are doing ok OP what a bizarre situation to find yourself in ,
I think the way you have stayed calm is commendable
Stay strong

Andy is definitely not gay, hes in a relationship and has a preschooler I believe.

Was it Andy?

Did he bring you on one of Andys Big Adventures?

I reckon it's Stacey Dooley. Not that it really matters. Hope you're holding up OP

I'd be worried too if this was my partner. hope you're holding up okay! Set up an Instagram and follow them both! She might back off a bit. xxx

Maybe said celebrity has been forwarned and is frantically back peddling as we speak.

Who knows

@ElspethFlashman

Andy is definitely not gay, hes in a relationship and has a preschooler I believe.

Was it Andy?

Did he bring you on one of Andys Big Adventures?

Andy was the only straight presenter I could think of too!

How are you op?

Not Andy 😂

Mr Tumble??!!!

Is anyone else thinking this thread will be deleted with no outcome

@Pollydaydream

How did your conversation with DH go this weekend?

Morning op, I happen you are doing ok.
This really does sound like a betrayal to me because he is lying to you, if he had been honest about the amount of communication then I think you would feel more settled about it.
Some of the content has crossed the line though.
How would he react if you asked to see their conversation?
"I still can't believe you know Shirley and still talk to her, let's see what she says to you" something along those lines?
His reaction Might indicate something for you?

I feel for you OP, her being famous is a red herring, its the fact that he is emotionally close to another woman and has kept it hidden from you. How would he feel if he found out you had been flirting and emotionally attached to another man, and not just any man but your ex, for years and had kept in contact with him and never mentioned it?

I dont know what the answer is but i wouldnt like it, my DP had a full blown EA which was creeping towards an actual affair and this was with my friend! I knew about her.

Its the secrecy that kills you, like he is enjoying an ego boost whilst having his family comforts.

Mr Tumble??!!!

Actually.... there's Is definitely a MNer who shagged Justin in college. It's part of MN lore.

Have just read the whole thing, it’s so bizarre. It’s like an emotional affair without the drama - like they’ve already settled into a relationship.
Have you read her book OP? There might me some parts about childhood in it that you could ask you’re husband about? Like ‘oh she said this happened at her school’ etc
Bit shifty that he didn’t admit to chatting with her when you mentioned her!

I think the celeb knows about it or it's a load of baloney!

I’m sure OP has had it all out and may not come back. Totally feel for you. I hope you got all the answers. There may be no clear way forward and it might take time to feel what you want from this. Take your time, get bay help you need for yourself or as a couple. I think this is one of those situations with no clear outcome of LTB or it’s all a miss understanding. It’s very much a grey area that depends on you as individuals

Yes I'm surprised we've not had an update from Polly. Hope you're doing ok? If things have come to a head with your DH ( & possibly his celeb friend) it may now be difficult to post. However we would like to know the outcome & to know that you are well? Take care x

@MadDoggoLady

I reckon it's Stacey Dooley. Not that it really matters. Hope you're holding up OP

She gets right up my nose! I can't bear her voice!

@lucie8881

Mr Tumble??!!!

Mr Tunmble is a icon! Literally all 3 of my kids grew up on CBeebies and Justin!