DP cross there's no food

[droopyears]

My DP of 4 years has just had a go at me because there is no food in the house. He doesn't actually live with me.
He knows I do my food shopping on a Wednesday so am usually pretty low on a Tuesday.
He seemed really cross that there wasn't a huge menu of snacks available
I just wanted to vent really

He is a BF, not even a partnership as you don't live together and he doesn't share. In fact he's a freeloading BF. Why don't you go to his? Get him to provide. This is so unbalanced, it's on another level. Tell him, you are busy, don't have him round, then spend you're evening with a hot bubble bath, nice music, and a glass of your favourite tipple - bet you'll enjoy it more than his company. Are you so desperate for his company that you'll be his slave?

How long have you been together?
Maybe it's time for an invoice to your DP of all the meals he's eaten at yours and he can recompense?

Does he stay over all of these nights and eat breakfast, use your hot water etc too?

He's not behaving like a partner.

Tell him he needs to pitch in financially - at the very minimum a quarter of the weekly food bill, plus extra for any special snacks and drinks he wants just for him.

He needs to help with the food shop at least once or twice a month - so that you're not doing all the carrying and fetching.

Also, he either cooks or washes up - or at least twice a week depending on if your DC are part of the clean up rota.

Don't have to have a big row or drama about it - just lay it out there calmly, and if he can't step up to at least the minimum.... well I know what I would do.

Tell him to go home or go shopping to help you. And if by some chance he does some shopping for you, DO NOT PAY FOR IT!

Seriously OP - just select all your own posts on this thread and read them one after another.

Why are you and your DC subsidising this inconsiderate oaf? What on earth are you getting out of this apart from larger shopping bills and more washing up?

Omg. What can you say to address's the problem? Maybe, 'I've just realised that I buy all of the food. It must be your turn to do our food shopping tomorrow?'

This ^^

And then I'd add all kind of expensive items to the list, luxury frozen foods (take an additional trip to M&S or Waitrose) and beer / wine etc. Then add all the essentials like washing up liquid, dishwasher tablets, toilet rolls, cleaning products - all the thing that help to make your home a pleasant place for him to come...

Say thanks, and dump him immediately.

Tell him you and your DCs are coming round to his every night next week for a lovely home cooked meal and he has to pay for the food, cook and clean up afterwards. Fairs fair.

@PickAChew

Well he knows which side his bread is buttered.

Its not his bread, it's the OPs bread, and butter, and Nutella, and ham and cheese and bacon ...........

What a prince. .

Well expect more of the same if you are going to tolerate it.

If you're not bothered about being taken advantage of yourself, then at least get angry for the sake of your kids. This man is literally eating the food that you buy for them and is contributing nothing.

Lots of people have asked what his good points are and you still haven't answered that question. Are you sure you even like him anymore, as opposed to having him around out of habit?

When DH and I first got together (childhood sweethearts, so maybe I knew him better? Although we had been 22 yrs apart) he came for dinner every night and was a very enthusiastic eater. I had two DC at home and a smallish income, and his income was even smaller, and finally told him we had to talk. I gulped hard and told him I couldn’t afford to feed him. He began contributing as much as he could, and even more as our incomes rose. At least he always cleaned the kitchen, always has, since I’m the only cook. Before you ltb, maybe go for your shop and bring home only meals, no snacks. If he comments, tell him you can’t afford more than the basics and see if he volunteers to help. If not, LTB.

He’s a boyfriend not partner. Plus a rubbish boyfriend at that. Please do yourself a favour and get rid. Find yourself a decent man who respects you, treats you as an equal and not as a hotel. He sounds dreadful. I’m sure you deserve better.

Seriously, you deserve so much better than this.

Next time he comes over make sure he brings snacks

DP doesn't 'believe' in marriage

Or paying his way, doing chores or respect for his GF either. Why would you stay with him?

So he eats your family's food most evenings including snacks, does not contribute financially or even wash up, invites himself round when you're not well and has a tantrum because the snacks have gone.

He sees you as free bed and board. he has no respect for you. Please have some self respect and kick him out. Tonight.

You have children?? What age are they? What do they think about him??

Run. Now.

You're not staying with this bloke because you think you won't get any better, as a mum of 2, are you?

So long as you keep giving this cocklodger will keep taking!
Please stop!

@droopyears

He wasn't actually supposed to be coming over tonight but he turned up out of the blue just after dinner. I'm full of cold so was looking forward to a bath, film and early night. I've just been told not to get too close to him as he doesn't want to catch my cold

Tell him to go home

He just sounds worse with each post

Get rid, you can do better

Get shut of him. Sounds very unattractive

With this type of behavior- disrespectful, mooching, entitled, selfish, and inconsiderate- There’s no point in talking to him about it. Would be a waste of time. This is who he is, no amount of talking will change all of these character flaws.