DP cross there's no food

[droopyears]

My DP of 4 years has just had a go at me because there is no food in the house. He doesn't actually live with me.
He knows I do my food shopping on a Wednesday so am usually pretty low on a Tuesday.
He seemed really cross that there wasn't a huge menu of snacks available
I just wanted to vent really

@Therealjudgejudy There's only one person being pathetic on this thread and it isn't the OP. Why comment if you're only here to be nasty? That's amazing that you're absolutely perfect and have never had to bounce an idea off people to gain perspective. Do fuck off.

You need to reset the expectations if this relationship is going to work. He should arrive to tell you he’s booked a meal put or brought a takeaway with him.
Send him to the supermarket with a list. If he doesn’t understand your role is not just to provide his food, he either needs to learn quickly or move into a hotel.

OP you've had some really harsh comments on here and I was wondering what your thoughts were about your relationship? Have these comments made you look at things differently? You don't say much.

This is so sad. He’s using you and you don’t seem to care. You’re worth more than this OP. You are. Everyone is. Do you know why your standards are so low? Is this your first relationship?

Tel him to go buy food then...

I think him moaning about snacks is the least of your problems

@droopyears, I'm wondering what your general circumstances are, for this to be happening.

I think it's great to vent; but sometimes you do also have to take stock.

Does your DP ever take you out? Bring anything for you? Txt to ask if you need anything become coming over?

Your not a restaurant!

Congratulations you seem to have got yourself a cocklodger.
What does he do for you apart from eat your food and fail to help out with the dishes? Is he incredibly generous in other ways, fantastic in bed etc ?

@StephenBelafonte I guess I've not really noticed until recently just how much of my food he eats? And the mini strop he had tonight took me by surprise.

I don't want to say much as it's not the nicest being called things like pathetic

Not ok. He's taking advantage of you and he can't even pretend to be a decent bloke.

Sometimes we don't really see these things until someone points them out to us. That's just the way it is. I'm sorry you're getting flack from some posters, but I'm hoping that the overwhelming number of responses in your favour have shed new light on the nature of your relationship, and your partner.

OP I for one would like to apologise if I was overly harsh to you. The problem is there are so many of these threads on mumsnet lately and posters - rightly or wrongly - sometimes try to shock people into ending their relationships.

This must have been playing on your mind. what happens when you go to his house? Does he cook for you both?

If your friend told you her bf was like this, what would you tell her? I bet you'd not think it was OK. Think higher of yourself and set your bar accordingly.

@LittleMissnotLittleMrs

I think I’d be letting him find out the cost of living on his own for a year or 40 by kicking his entitled arse to kingdom come

^^ this.

SuzieCarmichael Tell me more.

He’s poncing food off of you? What a complete cheap skate. I hope he’s not ‘borrowing money/stuff’ from you too?

He is taking the piss.
He eats your food and doesn't contribute AND he calls you names!
Don't be a doormat. Tell him to shape up or ship out

He's a pig. Get rid.

Why are you putting up with this? Does he EVER put his hand in his pocket? Let alone to the same extent you do? Do you earn the same?

He's royally taking the piss out of you! He's not only saving on food he's saving on utilities too if he's enjoying your warm, lit, entertaining (tv, WiFi etc) home and therefore not having to Heat, light and power his own of an evening!

When my ex and I were at this stage and he was at mine a lot (he was in Barracks accom, more privacy and hygiene at mine!) he'd alternate the grocery shop with me (and get the nice more expensive treats as he earned more than me, like wine, nice choc, nice cheese etc) and he'd top up my meter on a regular basis too!

Stop being so willing to be treated like this! Vent at him or better still dump!

Jesus! So he's

Tight as a ducks arse

Lazy

Entitled

Verbally aggressive

tell him to get to fuck!

Why are you SO passive in dealing with him op? Are you afraid of him? Or men in general? Afraid of being single? (Take it from me it can be awesome!)

And I don't believe you're "not fussed" about marriage I think because you know HE isn't interested in marriage you're trying to kid yourself that's ok!

How old are you?

Here's an experiment for you:

Sit down with your bank statements/app and calculate:

How much your utility bills have gone up, how much your grocery bills have gone up and total that over the 4 years - that's how much being with him has cost you.

Then try and think how much HE has SAVED by you doing this and add that and that's how much he's REALLY cost you.

THEN DUMP!

He has dinner at yours most nights, you're acting like a mug. Dump him.

He's a cock lodger. Does he still live at home? You deserve better.

Take your key back off him if he has one and cut your losses. Would you be happy to spend the rest of your life like this? Because it won't get any better.

Are you his mother or his girlfriend? He’s treating you like a teenager would his mother. He’s got a sweet set up. Not paying, eating, not doing anything to contribute, moaning. What a selfish pig. Get rid.

I think some people are being vary scathing to you. It’s clear this set up has come about through habit and tonight has been a wake up call for you. That’s ok.
What matters now is how you proceed. Obviously he needs to redress the balance. If he has a problem with that you might want to re-think your position with him.

Wow ! He's very entitled