To leave France

[CroissantMuncher]

I have a DP (French) I love and a job that is deeply unfulfilling but pays well. We live in France and I can now apply for citizenship: it will take 2 years for that to be processed.

I am bilingual so there is no language issue. I just find myself missing living in the UK for lots of reasons. I feel like I'm done with france and what I would actually like to do is go back to the UK and retrain in psychology.

I'm 34. All my family and friends in the UK say I'm mad, France is so much better (whilst they still live in the UK....), that I'm throwing away my chance at an EU passport post Brexit, that I'm throwing away my relationship (he refuses to move).

I really dont know what to do. On the one hand settled life with DP in France. On the other hand change career and go back to UK. Part of me thinks I could regret leaving so close to getting citizenship. Another part of me thinks life is short.

Anyone been in a similar quandary or have any thoughts?

I find that a lot of people who live abroad eventually want to come home, but they are usually at a lot older life stage than you !
If you want kids you need to decide first as to where you are going to live with them. If they’re born to your partner in France do you think he would allow them to leave and live in the UK with you later ? I doubt it.

could you move closer north and try get back to the uk more often. I think it would be mad to leave this close to brexit. We have no idea what its going to be like here once that properly hits us

Why did you move to France, op?
Did you go there intending to stay?
Do you think you're undecided about children because deep down you feel/know it's because you can't see yourself in France for the long haul?
Did you choose your current job because it's what you actually wanted to do, or what it more a case of fitting around dp?
If your dp broke up with you tomorrow, would you stay where you are?

The whole of France?

Come on, what's so great about France and so shit about the UK?

Funded doctoral training is HUGELY competitive. I know people who have spent years in assistant psychologist roles - like 5-10 years and haven't been accepted on to the doctoral training. It's also hugely competitive to get assistant posts, with dozens of applications for every job. Don't expect it to be as easy as you think.

OhCrumbsWhereNow. Your XP sounds identical to my H.
I would almost certainly have gone home long ago, (I still call it "home", doesn't that say it all ?) if I hadn't have had DC.
I still think I will return if I end up widowed.. I'm intellectually lonely here. & while the UK seems all bit "squashed" in, & I'm not sure about the bender drinking culture, & the NHS.. It is very refreshing when complete strangers are pleasant, & so many small things I miss

OP there used to be a conversion course you could do with distance learning by Manchester Met with gave you the graduate basis - might be worth looking into then you could get that part under your belt whilst hanging on for citizenship?

There are still hoops to jump through when applying for citizenship by marriage but it is a right.

Could you do your conversion through the OU distance learning whilst in France. And also get the experience you need there. Then after a couple of years return home to UK if you get on a course. It doesn’t need to be Assistant Psych job experience.

Maybe sit tight for now to get your citizenship - it may just give you more options in the future?

If you are certain that you want to go down a new career path, I would start contacting universities now so you know what their criteria are likely to be for determining whether - as a non-resident U.K. national - you would be eligible to pay ‘home’ fees for online courses post-Brexit. I know that the OU has made some commitments regarding undergraduate fees, but I’m not sure how they will approach post-grad qualifications.

«For international students at undergraduate level, wherever you are in the world you will pay the same as the fees we charge in England. The OU remains committed to this, providing a world class education at a very competitive price.»

Make a few enquiries. You can’t really make any decisions until you have all the information at your fingertips. So just doing a bit of research might feel like a tiny step forward.

Op If you get citizenship move back to the UK and have children with a brit you can pass your French nationality onto your children. that would be very precious.

Or it may be quicker to stay in your well paid job for a couple of years and use the money to pay for the doctorate in counselling which would very likely be a much quicker route than getting a poorly paid assistant job for a few years and perhaps maybe getting on the clinical psych doctorate.

The UK has entered its deepest recession since records began. A massive number of redundancies are a wide range of sectors are likely in the near future.

It really would be madness at the moment to leave a secure well-paid job in France.

The UK has entered its deepest recession since records began. A massive number of redundancies across a wide range of sectors are likely in the near future.

It really would be madness at the moment to leave a secure well-paid job in Fr

Are you a member of the FB group applying for French nationality? It might give you an idea of how long nationality applications in your part of the world are. In some places applications are now taking less than a year, particularly in parts of France where Brits are few and far between.

I’m surprised It’s BRITs being refused after living here for decades and running businesses. I would imagine they weren’t replying via marriage. Maybe they were frontaliers, otherwise it would be a very unusual situation.

France is in recession. The GDP has contracted the largest amount since 1949. The whole of the Euro zone has been hit badly, sadly every country has been hit.

There won't be any problem for UK citizens travelling in the EU after Brexit. We'll just need a visa.

You do know that isn't what we're all talking about when we mention FoM?

OP you said you grew up overseas, have you ever actually lived in the UK as an adult? I know several people in that situation and they only know the UK as their holiday destination or for short visits. The reality is very different especially with no job.

@Maireas

France is in recession. The GDP has contracted the largest amount since 1949. The whole of the Euro zone has been hit badly, sadly every country has been hit.

And which other EU country is erecting trade barriers between itself and its main trading partners as well?

Is it really possible that even 4 years since the referendum some people just don’t understand what is coming when we leave?

I'm not surprised about Brits being refused citizenship. You need to prove you are integrated into society, the language is not enough. I know plenty of Brits who have been here for years who would be refused. Their friends are all expats, they have no link to the communes they live in, and no real integration into the deeper French culture.

OP has a French DP which may help show integration, but not if they get a whiff that she is planning to return to the UK.

Tbh I find the idea of staying just to get an EU passport and then leaving pretty appalling. Citizens are supposed to show allegence to their country, otherwise you are just a foreigner. People would, rightly, be up in arms if they heard about similar behaviour by immigrants to the UK.

People would, rightly, be up in arms if they heard about similar behaviour by immigrants to the UK

Would they?
It’s been done thousands of times. Expatriate citizens don’t cost the country anything.

OP, sit tight and get the passport. Two years is nof much.

that's a good point which hadn't crossed my mind at all, Frenchfancy. Thanks for bringing it up. And in light of what you said i take back what i said before about OP staying to get citizenship.

I still think she should stay, but that is because having a job in France is better than having no job in UK and, presumably, no recourse to anything but the most basic form of support (UC or whatever) from the state, including NHS

I think that’s more true of people who move over when they retire, I’m surprised by people who run businesses being refused, unless they work exclusively with the expat community. I suppose maybe like b and bs that cater solely for Brits might count.

I applied via marriage, I had a 20 minute interview at the police station and a 20 minute chat at the prefecture. No singing the Marseillaise or anything like that. As it stands OP’s application would be a bit thin, marriage would be a better bet.

@Frenchfancy

I partly grew up here so I'm pretty integrated. I'm pretty sure sticking around for citizenship is a common thing across the board, irrespective of country. It's probably more ethical (if you insist on taking this kind of view) than all the Brits suddenly dusting off their granny's Irish birth cert, having never set foot in Ireland.

Did you say you did a postgrad in France? Im surprised it would take 2 years to get the nationality.

I did a Bac+5 (masters) in France then worked 2 years in a CDI and became eligible. I only applied a couple of years later but got it incredibly quickly - less than 6 months from start to finish.

The interview was a piece of cake and I wasnt asked anything about the country. This was in Paris.

When was that Invincible? There have been so many Brits applying in the last few years that it has been taking longer. But it is getting quicker again.