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Original poster

Why has DH called a sexual health clinic

167 replies

WhyCouldThisBe · 30/09/2020 03:42

I’m having a sudden bad feeling he’s cheated or why else would he call a sexual health clinic. Saw the number on his phone as somewhere he called at 9am recently - it came up as sexual health clinic due to his phone automatically guessing the number and he stayed on the line for 44 seconds. Is there any other reason other than a STI check why a guy would call that number? Funny stuff going on with his bits?? Weird feelings down there? Pain? I don’t know. He hasn’t mentioned any issues down there and we have had unprotected sex since he called the number. As far as I know he hasn’t attended an appointment so I’m wondering what on earth this call could be about. Yes I could ask him but then I wouldn’t be able to explain why I looked at his phone (I was snooping). Help please!

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 30/09/2020 14:13

Hi Op

Has he got a credit card you don't know about or PayPal etc?

Original poster
WhyCouldThisBe · 30/09/2020 14:42

He went to an escort. He’s admitted it. Well after being caught of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCouldThisBe · 30/09/2020 14:43

I asked how he paid and what he did. He said they just kissed and he freaked out and left. I told him he’s a lying bastard and I’m not a bloody idiot and he’s maintained he didn’t have sex but that he cheated due to going there and kissing her before leaving and saying she could keep the money. He must think I’m a total moron even though I’ve caught him out.

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 30/09/2020 14:44

Sadly I’d suspect the worst. If he had a worry about something he’d call the GP...

dinosnorezzzz · 30/09/2020 14:47

Oh op! I'm sorry to hear this. I would wonder though if it is genuinely the first time or just the first time he has been caught. Most couples have rows but it doesn't mean one half of them goes straight to an escort Hmm unfortunately I'm not sure he will be truthful with what has happened either Thanks

EmilyBishopmyconfession · 30/09/2020 14:47

Why did he need to call a sexual health clinic if they only kissed?

Original poster
WhyCouldThisBe · 30/09/2020 14:48

Thank you all for your comments / advice. I can’t believe he’s done this to me and to our kids. My marriage is over. Ive put all his shit In a suitcase and thrown that in his car and told him to go. He says he won’t leave. He’s sorry and it won’t happen again and he only went there because he thought the marriage was over and he was hurting blah blah blah still maintaining he kissed her and didn’t shaa her. What am I supposed to do now

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCouldThisBe · 30/09/2020 14:49

@EmilyBishopmyconfession that was exactly what I asked him. Then he was trying to convince me you can catch stuff from kissing so I had to google it. He’s a lying bastard anyway so I don’t believe a word he’s saying

OP posts:
LorW · 30/09/2020 14:49

Leave him OP. Whether it was sex or not is irrelevant. The commitment he made to you has been broken, he will do it again and you will be better off without him. Find a man who will worship the ground you walk on and respect the commitment. So so sorry 😔💕

Aerial2020 · 30/09/2020 14:52

Sorry OP Flowers

Thers is no way he only just kissed her.

Stay strong.

MadeForThis · 30/09/2020 14:53

If you own the house together you can't force him to leave.

You can however tell him you are officially separated. Tell your friends and family for support. Don't keep his dirty little secret.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 30/09/2020 14:55

Why would he call a sexual health clinic after just kissing an escort?

I’m sorry he’s a pig, it sounded like there was little trust in the relationship anyway so I think you’re better off out.

You can’t force him to leave if you both own / mortgage the home if he won’t actually leave. I’d probably threaten a call to his parents to explain what their little Prince Charming has been up to and to ask if he could stay there. But there will be some better advice than that coming along soon I’m sure Flowers

EmilyBishopmyconfession · 30/09/2020 14:56

I'm so sorry OP, it sounds like your instincts were right all along.

On the practical side of things, start gathering financial information in case he tries to hide any savings/ income etc, in case he's been lying to you on that front as well. There are plenty of posters on MN who've been through the same thing who will advise.

On the emotional side, be kind to yourself and practise some self care. You're going through a shock so make things as easy as you can on yourself for the time being, alongside all the practical things you'll be to dealing with.

hockeysticks89 · 30/09/2020 14:58

Many many years ago I heard the we didn't shag because I felt too guilty line, I phoned the OW and asked her about it and she laughed at me.

Don't be me.

pickingdaisies · 30/09/2020 15:06

Oh I'm so sorry. Flowers
Well obviously you don't have to let him stay just because he insists he's done nothing. (Hah!)
Anyone you can call to back you up?

SandyY2K · 30/09/2020 15:08

@LorW

I can’t see why if it was an innocent thing where he was concerned about something ‘down there’ or whatever he wouldn’t tell you OP

This doesn't mean anything. I don't tell my DH when I have a GP appointment, unless he happens to be home and I say I'm off to the GP.

Unless I had a serious medical issue, I wouldn't say anything at all.I don't see the need.

Not all couples discuss these things and that's no indication of being guilty..or it not being innocent.

OP...the red flags are him visiting escort sites. I don't buy the reason he gave you for looking.

Are you absolutely sure he has no other access to funds than the bank account you know about?

Bluntness100 · 30/09/2020 15:13

Wow I know this isn’t the point, but what a fuck wit. You don’t phone a sexual health clinic for a kiss, and many escorts don’t kiss anyway.

Honestly I’m not sure what’s more off putting, the fact he slept with a prostitute, and I’d be worried it was unprotected, or the fact he’s too thick to come up with a even remotely plausible lie.

I’m sorry op this has happened, sleep in a seperate bed tonight if he won’t go, and seek legal advice.

Biancadelrioisback · 30/09/2020 15:15

How did he pay her though? If he didn't withdraw any money but told her she could keep it? So he must have a secret stash?

LorW · 30/09/2020 15:15

@SandyY2K

Surely if you are engaging in a sexual relationship and there’s something up with ‘down there’ you’d mention something to your partner though? Even before you had an appointment? For their sexual health and safety? Just in case?

WhenPushComesToShove · 30/09/2020 15:15

What @Biancadelrioisback said

tropicalwaterdiver · 30/09/2020 15:17

@WhyCouldThisBe

Thank you all for your comments / advice. I can’t believe he’s done this to me and to our kids. My marriage is over. Ive put all his shit In a suitcase and thrown that in his car and told him to go. He says he won’t leave. He’s sorry and it won’t happen again and he only went there because he thought the marriage was over and he was hurting blah blah blah still maintaining he kissed her and didn’t shaa her. What am I supposed to do now
He went to escort as he thought the marriage was over? And now he wants you to stay? He is not very bright, is he?

Very sorry you are going through this. Protect yourself legally and financially.

thorforever · 30/09/2020 15:22

Please have a look at the Chumplady site.

It's an excellent resource for dealing with cheaters. Good luck OP

MashedSweetSpud · 30/09/2020 15:24

He’s disgusting. He has zero respect for you and you’ve caught him on escort websites before so clearly he has form.

Susannahmoody · 30/09/2020 15:30
Grin

Pull the other one it's got bells in mate

bebarkered · 30/09/2020 15:35

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and your children OP. And, the fact that he's continuing to lie to your face about the escort. We are all here for you if you need us xxx

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