I would feel uneasy about the kicking too. It is as though he was angry at you, because you disagreed with him over the washing, and because of that he wanted to physically hurt you. But he reined it in just enough to turn it into a "joke". I think the reason you are feeling so uneasy about it, is because in your gut, you sensed that his real intentions were to hurt you, not just to indulge in a silly, unpleasant little joke.
I actually think it's very telling that this particular situation reminded you of your dad. I'm sure you already know that if you've been raised in an abusive home, you'll quire often be hyper aware of atmospheres and have a heightened ability to pick up on other people's emotions - it's a safety mechanism. You were instinctively picking up on something present in him that was also present in your dad, and I would hazard a guess that the "something" is anger, and a wish to hurt and humiliate you, for disobeying his wishes.
Although afaik he's never outright hit you, if you look back at your posts since March, there are quite a lot of incidents where the abuse has turned physical (aside from the sexual stuff) - barging into you, pinning you down and not letting you up, deliberately blocking your way, and now kicking you.
A few days ago he kicked a cat. Now he is kicking his wife. He told your DD the cat deserved it, I bet he'd say the same about you.