Dating Thread 194 - Dire men of the Internet

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thread title in honour of of @crackofdoom from thread 193

@Dancerinthemoonlight I'm curious why you're giving mr 'cancelled 2 dates and moving the time round on the third' with your time. I know youre saying could be good in person but in my experience...people that cancel and move things round a lot before you meet rarely improve.

@supercali77 he has offered to help me with something that is his area of expertise. I'm not holding out any hope that the date will actually happen and I'm being very low committal with it. If it happens then it happens but if it doesn't there are no more chances

Yes I’d meet him if it was like mega convenient for me but not otherwise - like you say @Dancerinthemoonlight if you’ve already put him as a friend zone person not a romantic date it doesn’t matter so much?

Definitely agree with @TiggerDatter and @supercali77 that for dating last minute/reschedule/cancel/always late types are NEVER worth it.

Even if you have good date/good chemistry you either have to spend the time in between dates on tenterhooks with anxiety, or have no life of your own and basically let them know they can “drop in to yours at the last minute according to their convenience rather than just looking forward to a planned date/meet”.

Not good.

Dancer I can't believe that date. What a giant prick! On so many levels - good riddance.

I've just been chatting to an iron I'll call Mr Hair cos he seems to have a thing about mine. May meet him at the weekend. Told him my Tinder rule (which I had just made up) that if you don't arrange a date with someone within two days of chatting, you never will. Or should. So we'll see what happens there...

I like this emerging understanding that the early red flags are to be heeded. Being flaky about rearranging dates is now on my list of things to spot.

Also very into getting a date arranged early else no point is a new way for me.
Endless laggy chit chat never resulted in a good match.

Mr Sound got a bit sexual on the phone last night. Everything turned into a double entendre. I guess it shows what he's up for. I'm not going to bin the first date we've got arranged but strongly suspect he's not going to be my forever guy. He also revealed that he's shorter than my ideal and broke. Great.

One week to meet, definitely.

@Dancerinthemoonlight I’m sorry it went so badly. Have you turned down the second date? I’m strangely invested in what you are going to say to him! I’d be very tempted to point out exactly where he went wrong... What a tool.

Oh dear @Dancerinthemoonlight sorry it was such a disaster. I'm liking your attitude about it. Wing one bad date closer to a good one. It reminded me of my first date when I came back onto tinder. I know my limits on drinks and was alternating soft drinks and singles. Once I'd had the drink he bought me he laughed it was a double. He also kept refilling my glass with wine over dinner. It's a huge NO for me. I ghosted him. The only time I've done that.

@TiggerDatter I'm so tempted to say where he went wrong but I know that I will probably do the whole we aren't a good match and are looking for different things text. I don't think a man like that will listen to where he is wrong, I got the feeling that he thinks he is right about things and everyone who disagrees with him is wrong.

If the coffee doesn't happen on Friday (it's in a convenient place for me that I would be going to the area for food shopping and to do some c word shopping) then it will never happen. It's just not worth it. I have a flakey friend who is always cancelling or postponing and I get annoyed with that thinking about all the other things I could have arranged to do so I definitely don't want that in a man.

Although I have blocked Mr Caribbean everywhere he still keeps calling me, in fact 3 times yesterday and once already this morning. I get the blocked call notification - any advice other than to just keep ignoring it. He won't turn up where I live as I always went to him and he never came to me so I'm safe - dated him before I had such strong boundaries in place.

I’m liking all the boundary holding that’s going on and moving to calls and meets quicker.

It’s my birthday today and I woke up to a lovely message from Mr German. I had only mentioned it briefly at the weekend so the fact that he remembered and was thinking of me makes me very happy.
I was a bit ambivalent on our first date as I didn’t get that wow feeling but he was great on our second date and I really like him. He is very cool and collected though and hard to read which is the opposite of all of my other dates who were all very into telling me how great I look etc. But I like the fact that he’s straight with no bullshit and no lovebombing. And he has his shit together, seems to be a great dad to his kids and no red flags yet 😊
I’m already getting invested 😬

@ZoZoBo Happy Birthday 🥳🎂

Whoop whoop @ZoZoBo and we share a birthday! (Like all the best people).

It’s not a big day for me tbh at my life stage but I got MrCountry messaging me to casually say it would be nice to speak on the phone today if I had time - he’s away on a ship doing nights and I only mentioned “in passing” when it was

I wouldn’t say it’s been crazy romance chemistry dating but....

@bunkbedpeople Happy Birthday aswell 🎂🥳

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight

Happy birthday zozobo and bunkbedpeople 🎉

Well i took a break from apps after being let down by MrSmiley and am now back on. Been chatting with a new iron for about a week and we're supposed to be meeting tomorrow night. He seems lovely, likes to call and chat as opposed to endless messaging and seems to have his sh*t together. I will call him MrRugby. Hes insisted on coming over my side of town the date and will apparently be booking somewhere for us for a meal and drinks. I'm looking forward to meeting him 😁

Happy Birthday to my birthday twin @Bunkbedpeople

Thanks @ZoZoBo hope you have a lovely day and year ahead too. 🥳

Thanks @Slothmomma Enjoy your date it’s nice when you meet a “normal sorted one” on the apps.

Happy birthdays!
I am still here just insanely busy at work.
I haven’t been on the apps but I have two irons that seem to be in the long text trap. I’m meeting Mr Tabtric tomorrow and basically interviewing him for a FWB role which he is cool with. His latest delightful text is that he wants to eat chocolate out of me, which is nice .

I decided to go back on POF (my account has been hidden since April), don’t think I will be staying on there, others than the entertainment value I don’t think “the one” is on there 😂

@Lovemusic33 it's not great on there. I had a message today asking me if I like BBC. I felt like responding with what I thought of the British broadcasting corporation but I really couldn't be bothered engaging with him

I had too much time on my hands this morning so thought I would play along for a bit. I think he soon got fed up, he didn’t even have a profile pic so probably married or very ugly. I get quite a few messages like this on POF, it’s tedious and boring. I probably get one nice message per ten bad ones.

Happy birthday @Bunkbedpeople and @ZoZoBo. Hope you are both having a wonderful day. I had a word with the birthday fairy and ordered you both lots of hot sex with someone of your choice very soon.

Thanks all

I’m stuffing myself with Colin the caterpillar cakes in lieu of birthday hot sex (bought by me, bit of girl power. I also got my card rejected at the supermarket so had “single woman panic” but it was their machine that was out of order ).

I’m looking forward to reuniting with MrCountry but also from my experience of long distance reunions often it’s better to just have quite low expectations for the first meet.

“naked cuddle and chat and some standard vanilla and hopefully we like it enough to continue seeing each other” will be fine.

Happy Birthday @Bunkbedpeople and @ZoZoBo

Nothing to report here.
I'm watch Burlesque and drooling over Ali and Jack 😊

Hi everyone, wrote my own thread then found this. Happy Birthday to the birthday people!

I'm finding things really hard with a guy I've been seeing last couple months. I basically feel I'm more invested than him but I'm not accurately sure that's the case. I have way much more time on my hands than he does which exaggerates everything....WFH too much time to think etc.

He's a lovely guy but I really can't decide if it's my own insecurities or the actual ' relationship ' if you can call it that that's causing me to feel like this.