Dating Thread 194 - Dire men of the Internet

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thread title in honour of of @crackofdoom from thread 193

@Onesmallstep67 he's always interested in my kids, and if we talk, he says he wants kids. But then brushes it off. He says ultimately he wants to get married and have kids. But wants to still see me because we have this connection. I think the truth is we both didn't expect to find each other but moreso I'm just not in this nice easy no baggage type package that he thought he'd find. And he has his issues too. I'm just thinking whether I should call it quits and avoid hurt later on. He doesn't want to split.

@Eesha, this is the difficulty with any relationship, the fear of getting hurt by allowing yourself to develop feelings for the other person. Situations are rarely perfect. Is he younger than you ? Do you feel that if your relationship continued you could see him adapting to having your children as a formal part of his life ?
I think more recently I am trying to live a bit more in the here and now. This relationship may go from strength to strength or it may falter for other reasons apart from him wanting children (of his own) one day. If everything else about him and the RS is going well then I would definitely be willing to see how things go.

He's 45 this year, and I think in theory he wants kids but practically I think he realises it's not as easy to find someone, have that same click and have kids asap. It does happen but I have several female friends who have met men in their 40s and whilst not perfect, they have realised they won't find better. I've decided I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. We both admit we have something here but will just need to see whether it has legs.

Oh ffs. The bloke I matched with overnight has started calling my 'My love' in messages. 🤢🚩

Great

Don't panic Mr Mainwaring! Maybe he comes from one of the areas of the country that habitually call everyone "My love/ My lover/ My lovely". It's all "My lovely" from the first or second message down 'ere

@crackofdoom

Don't panic Mr Mainwaring! Maybe he comes from one of the areas of the country that habitually call everyone "My love/ My lover/ My lovely". It's all "My lovely" from the first or second message down 'ere

I really want to know where you live @crackofdoom! I'm "down 'ere'" too. Slim pickings on the dating front. Especially if you would quite like someone who can read without moving their lips.

In common with wasail, I live at the extreme bottom left, down the pointy end ...Alrite? Yeah, you?

Yes, I get pretty jealous of the upcountry-ers, with their seemingly endless supply of good quality professional men on Fab!

I'm in the Midlands. I think I would take 'my love' over our local equivalent which is 'bab' ! Or if you are a bit further out than me - 'wench'.

God 'bab' slays me ! Where I'm from originally it refers to something else - 'I really need a bab, can I use your loo?'

This thread is going somewhere else now with loves and babs - love it!

I'm bottom, middle. Seems more like bottom of the barrel, middle ages at times

I’m down the bottom, have been called many things but “my lover” has to be the worst, don’t mind being called love, hate being called babe or hun 🤢

Home Counties here, it’s ‘darling’ 🤢 which to me always just sounds like they’re taking the piss

Midlands here too so "bab" is a term of affection here 🤣

I’m in Ireland- we don’t really do terms of endearment round my way! but I have been called hun once which I hate with a passion

@ZoZoBo, sorry to go off at a tangent but do you think dating in Ireland is different to the UK ? My dad was from the West coast and when I visit it's very rural and everyone knows everyone else in the town where he grew up. I guess that's the same as those on the thread here who live more rurally. I'm in a big city but even here sometimes it's difficult to not bump into people that you know. A guy once recognised where I lived from one of my pics and it turned out his BIL was my neighbour. The date didn't go well and to this day I dodge him.

Alright my duck is daily conversation here 😄

I've had a few chats going on tinder and nearly a date,though we both decided 45minutes car drive was too far in the end. I was up for a meet as he said he didnt mind driving but he messaged the morning of the date to say it was infact a bit too far.
Someone popped up from my village and after lots of chats and me hinting I was walking the dog in the wood,he didnt take the bait( even though said was home all day) so I moved on!

@Onesmallstep67 yes I think in my experience it is. Firstly I don’t know any women of my age using dating Apps and there is still a stigma and gossip about it! I live in a small town about an hour from Dublin and I would not date in my town because of gossip! One guy messaged me on pof who lives nearby (didn’t know him) but even if I was interested I wouldn’t go there for fear he drinks in the same pub as my ex or something 😂
I do have an ex who is not handling me dating very well however so I prefer to leave town
I do envy those of you who can meet locally for a date and still be relatively anonymous and therefore see your irons more often.

I am in Essex so it is always babe, baby or even worse hun. The amount of dates that I have told that I have a name and don't respond when they call me hun. I don't mind pet names when in a relationship but not from what is basically a stranger.

It doesn't look like I will be seeing Mr Sexy Trouble, after telling him when I am free this week he hasn't messaged me anymore despite having been online. His loss and not mine.

Dinner date with Mr Booked It on Wednesday at 8 and Coffee date with Mr Dirty Dancing on Thursday at 3.

I seem to be trialling a new way - give out my number if their first message is anything more than 'Hi' or 'Hi Sexy' or 'Hi Rural' & straight away suggest a phone call.

I no longer have the inclination or time to text message people I've not met. I'm fast tracking everything so that non-suitable S get sifted out ASAP.

I will report back with findings as the study rolls forward.

Being from Newcastle and living in Scotland... I get Pet (from men trying to be clever), hun, hen, love, mate, pal, babe, babes.

Though Mr Swan and I have agreed that love, darling or specific nicknames are ok, but never dear (we are too young for that apparently) though I've noticed him starting to use a shortened version of my shortened name that no one has ever used before. I kind of like it, it fits with his accent.

Only 1 fellow Geordie gets to call me pet

Weirdly .... Mr A&E has taken to using the full Sunday version of my name that he apparently loves.

He is becoming a good laugh, insisting he wants FWB but is behaving like he wants more so I'm being careful

Me Hood annoyed me by saying call last night then after I said ok now is good, an hour later he said to tired. He apologised and said good morning with another apology so I'll let it go

Not heard from Mr Mechanic since we made our date plan

@eesha I heard that twice and ended it both times but....with neither person was there an easy possibility for a relationship anyway. But it signalled the end. I guess it depends. How old is he? Does he otherwise seem very interested and are you in return?

Aaaaahhhh help.

Ok on the phone to Mr Hood, I get a message, it was Mr Planner, (you're allowed outside now?) I was thrown off guard completely, I just felt so flustered.
I felt the call got a little flat after that and although we've planned dinner tomorrow I know my hearts not in it.

I just replied 'yes' and nothing else and he hasn't responded.
I'm going to have to block him aren't I ... I like him and I feel that he is just bread crumbing now. It's been over a week since he messaged last.

Twat twat twat

@cravingthelook

He’s fishing for attention - he kind of wants you as a fallback girl, chasing after him so he can use you for attention/sex but have no actual commitment to dating formally and be free to chase others.

Now you’re thinking about him and might instigate something and then he won’t have to take any responsibility for “leading you on” even though he is...

(otherwise he’d communicate properly and formally discuss/commit to where you were at...)

@supercali77 id say we were both surprised about how we felt, we just didn't expect to click so well as we were online pals before that. He's 45. I was certainly smitten early on. He's always maintained he doesn't want us to split up and that we have a great time. I just think I'm too old to have more kids plus I don't know him enough. I worry that he should really be out finding someone who can give him that.

Just had a really really really great 2 hour chat with the iron I matched overnight with who called me 'my love' which I now forgive him for as has super deep sexy voice, very funny and interesting and warm and gushy.

Date arranged for Fri night. As he's a musician he bravely sent me a link to a video of him playing and I think he's hot.

My new rules of moving from match to phonecall to meet seem to be working so far....