Dating Thread 194 - Dire men of the Internet

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thread title in honour of of @crackofdoom from thread 193

Yeah we dated and it was great ... until I found out he was married! I blocked him on everything and he took to making new social media accounts to contact me and then calling from various friends phones. One night he called me from 3 different numbers 10 times at 3am so i unblocked him and told him I'd contact the police and his wife if I ever heard from him again. So far it worked ...

Yeah 6 months, it's not been without its issues and I nearly ended it a few weeks ago but I just adore him and although there's still a few issues I can't imagine being without him. I get excited when I get a notification from him, some days we will speak on the phone 5 or 6 times a day and message too, it's just nice to have that person you want to be around.

@Ruralbliss now you've written it down why don't you burn the letter. Send it out into the universe and let it go.

I am thinking I might write to Mr Planner just so I can burn it.

I have two confirmed social meet dates for next week. Wednesday and Thursday.
Mr Mechanic and Mr A&E both from fab. I think they both think I'm 100% in, but if I don't fancy them in person I'm not.

What?!? @dancemom
That tale has just addled my brain. What a horrible experience. I cannot even imagine the shock of finding out your 'great date' was married.

How did you find out.
I'm not on social media so would have the ability to stalk or snoop a datee's connections/status etc
Yikes.

@cravingthelook good idea.
I'd only drafted it digitally. All deleted now.

My dad used to do this when I'd had recurring nightmares as a kid. He'd draw it as I described it then burn it and flushed the ashes down the loo. Worked every time.

@Ruralbliss i found out via social media. We were at an event together, the following week there were photos of him on Facebook on the events page. He wasn't on Facebook but I noticed someone with a similar surname had liked the photos, I took a look and it was a family member, scrolled through their page and there was a lovely photo of him his wife and his children on holiday when he had told me he was away with "the lads"
It broke my heart for sure

Notcoolmum did the date go ahead?

I texted in the end to confirm and the date did go ahead. Had a nice time and we’re on for a third date. Still no touching though, not even a handhold. Is that weird?

Wow how do you all manage to get so many dates? I will admit I need some new photos as I hate photos with a passion so I have almost none of myself!
What do you put in your profiles as well?
It’s not like I’m not getting matches but they just don’t talk! Ever! I’ve literally started 2 longer conversations. One I like the sound of but I’m questioning how interested he really is! But I need to actually get some dates as I’m so anxious about the whole thing so the sooner I get on with it the better!

(sigh) Another weekend, another instance of being messed around by the men of Fab . Pisses me right off- endless messaging, showing willingness to meet, then suddenly going vague when it comes to finalising the details. I don't know why they do this- after the ego boost, do they suddenly realise that they have agreed to meet up with a real live woman and suddenly get scared??

Damn it, I know jewels can be found on Fab, but the endless sifting through dross is such a headfuck. I recall that this is what has sent me running back to the more conventional dating apps in the past.

Got the weekend saddo blues, for sure. I always like to be out of the house in the evenings on a child free weekend, because I can't be the rest of the time, but of course social events are curtailed, all my Fab socials seem to have fallen through, and after 6 months of light evenings and swimming in the sea/ local creek, I've just investigated my usual evening standby- going to the swimming pool- to discover that my local pools are still closed/ members only.

@Awholenewlife123 we can review profiles if you like ... give you pointers

@crackofdoom I do. It it's my weekend on mum duties

Oops I meant I do understand and also feel the same even though I'm on... DD just wants to play out and I'm fed up staying in too

@cravingthelook that would be great. I don’t have a lot on there at the moment as because of my job I worry about putting to much and I don’t even know where to start on what to put!

@crackofdoom
Sorry your Fab socials didnt happen.
The problem with Fab is that you do get some dross in amongst the good ones.
Men on there can be broken down in to a few categories:

1. Single and wanting to meet people for casual sex
2. Single and think they want to meet for casual sex but then get cold feet when it might happen.
3. Single and just like chatting and exchanging photos and videos and for an ego boost
4. In a relationship and just looking but not doing
5. In a relationship, willing to cheat but when the time comes they cant for whatever reason
6. In a relationship and cheating by meeting for sex
7. In a relationship and both swinging/meeting others

I do feel sorry for men because a lot of women on the site are actually cam girls/escorts and try to link them to their fan pages and also a lot of men pretending to be women because they get a thrill.
Its no wonder some men dont believe that there are women who actually want NSA sex.

Are you verified on there?
Some men like to see a verification as proof you are real.
If you are not verified I'm happy to do an online meet with you and verify you.

@SortingItOut

How do I get verified?

@cravingthelook
By meeting someone in person or having a cam call or just a video chat (none have to be sexual)

The person you meet has to be verified before they can verify you

Had a lovely second date with Mr German which ended up with me staying at his :) now the horrible wait to see if I hear from him again

I’m also finding FAB hard work. A lot of entitled men who seem to think that if I’m on fab I’ll shag anything any time. I find the parade of cocks mildly amusing and I am having fun textual intercourse with one who I do think will be fun to meet but that won’t be till the end of next week. He deserves a name though even if the relationship stays online as he is a lot of fun: Mr Tantric

@ZoZoBo I hate that waiting, I wish I could say do you have a feeling about it? But I had a great feeling about Mr Welshie and he has ghosted me.

@Awholenewlife123 dates are like busses nothing for weeks then 3 ina week. I have had a few with guys I wasn’t really interested in just cos I thought I should - you know, how can you tell if there is chemistry on the internet? in hindsight I wasted my time.

Hi All can i join you please? I'm recently single, just put myself on tinder 🤦‍♀️ (feels like im in a catalogue! Did start on fab but not sure - what do people put in their fab profiles??

Hi all, I have a question. Once a date has been arranged, do you carry on talking online? I have arranged a few dates, and after we have arranged them, I don't hear from the guy until the date itself! Is this normal?

I supppose you could say that there is no point carrying on the chat until we know if there is real life chemistry, but it is a bit weird!

@Stealthynamechange
I started off with a really short profile and then added to it.

No real need to discuss likes and dislikes as you tick the options available unless you have a specific kink that is not covered.

I put on mine that men without profile photos had their messages deleted immediately unless they sent a head shot photo with their first message.

I also put that i had a current FWB and was looking for another one or two.

I explained why i didnt accomodate.

Have a read of some womens profiles and see the kind of thing they put.
I think pages and pages is off putting but 2 or 3 paragraphs is fine.

I am officially back to dating.
Date with Mr Booked It on Wednesday night. Arranging a date with MR Sexy Trouble for either Thursday or Friday.

I had one man on POF message me saying fatty twice because I hadn't responded to him. Mr EasyGoing popped up again this morning after blocking me 2 weeks ago. He is now blocked but has a business number so when he realises I will probably get a text from that number, I would block that number but I don't have it.

I am still trying to take it easy on the apps, not spending all my time on them, keeping busy doing other things. Lots to sort out in the next few weeks anyway

Good luck @ZoZoBo really hope he a decent chap and gets in touch soon.

My favourite first overnighters texted me as I journeyed away from me saying how much they missed me already. That's my benchmark but in hindsight each of these blokes turned out in the long run to be mad, bad or sad (one of each as it happens) so don't listen to me

My lunchtime date was like pulling teeth but not as many as Fri night. He's just dinged in saying what a great time he had and can't wait to do it again.
I already told him I needed to stay home and get my eldest through her surgery next week and self isolate etc etc.

Autumn/Winter Sabbatical time and a decent amount of time off the apps I think....Not sure if I can though.

Yes, they are buses. Now got date with Mr Hood Tuesday

So I was tarot reading and I did a simple mind, body and spirit reading and it made me think:

Mr A&E is a mind connection, high intellect (Thursday date)
Mr Mechanic is all body (Wednesday date)
Mr Hood is the funny, kind, fellow parent one that's more on a similar level (Tuesday date)

Why oh why can't I find a 3 in 1 (or at least a 3 in 1 that doesn't turn out to be a cowardly mr planner) ?

Can I have