First time poster...long time lurker so please be gentle.
So the backstory is that I have been with my partner for 4 years and we are currently TTC after losing last year (late miscarriage). We live in partners hometown- We are both 29.
In the past two years, I have gone from 10 stone 9 to 12 stone 10- I'm 5ft5. I was a size 12/14 and now I'm closer to a 16. The weight gain has come from mainly my role becoming a WFH home role (before covid) and not exercising enough in the beginning. I have tried everything to lose weight, slimming world/ weight watchers, joint a virtual gym and was recently diagnosed with PCOS/Insulin Resistance through blood tests/scans. I'm now on Metformin and low carbing, exercising and I'm beginning to lose weight :)
The problem is DP's friends...and DP. Around June time I was sat in our living room, when messages from his chat came up through the games console on our tv (facebook). It was messages from DP's friends essentially making jokes about me..saying about him being busy this weekend with 'trotters' and likening me to a whale- harpooned came in there!. I was devastated and cried to DP, who apologised and said he would have a word with them. This is a group of 30 year old (some married men) and although I see them socially sometimes, DP sees them more.
Fast forward to this month, and DP leaves the laptop on the table as we are both WFH. He went out to make a call, and as I was on an important meeting i went over to silence his laptop as it was beeping incessantly. Once again, the same group chat, I very stupidly had a little scroll not very far up, and again there was comments about me, and a meme of a fat woman suffocating a skinny bloke. DP is slender.
This time, I confronted DP and he was furious- calling me a snoop, saying that it's just banter aimed at him, not me, and it's private and that he's told them once but its not his responsibility what other people do!. He then stormed off to his mums- who told him I was being ridiculous and ''should use it as an incentive'''!
I just feel so low and devastated. I'm trying so hard, and feel like I'm in a relationship with someone who wont even defend me! I've always liked DP's mum too, and although her comment was harsh, I don't know if she meant it harshly. Should i LTB? I've spoken to my family and they're furious, but are close-knit and protective anyways..
Any advice would be appreciated. We are okay now, and DP has apologised again, but I still feel slightly weird around him. Sorry for the long post!
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Relationships
to be devastated I'm being called names...as an adult!
mollysmysteries · 15/09/2020 16:36
This is absolutely foul. It's great to have strong friendships but these aren't his friends...they are his 'pack' that he is afraid to stand up to and it's pathetic. He lets you get insulted so he doesn't offend a bunch of racist misogynists.
Be really interesting to know what he'd do if they insulted his mum. Although tbh they probably do...it would be interesting to know how his mum would feel about that.
Get rid. Could you trust this man to protect your child? Nah, not if the kid harassing your kid had a "cool" dad he wanted to be in with.
After the first time I met one of my ex boyfriend's friends,, he text my bf if it was true that fat girls have tighter pussies. The fact that he was mates with someone who would write that sorta shite and that he told me that meant he had to go. I wasn't even fat, it was just top bantz. So funny 
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