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Original poster

Hubby Masturbating

137 replies

EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:12

So, this is going to sound so odd but, I woke up one evening to find my hubby was masturbating to porn right next to me whilst I was asleep... I was too shocked when I woke to confront him so I waited for him to finish and went to the bathroom (he realised I'd noticed) - he was ashamed and embarrassed but said it was because he didn't want to wake me and he apologized - we have wonderful sex and quite frequently so I didn't understand why he did this...advice would be greatly appreciated...

OP posts:
FlorenceNightshade · 30/08/2020 20:13

What is the issue? The fact he was masturbating or that he was watching porn?

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:15

I think I just felt saddened that he was 1, choosing porn instead of me and 2, that he had to do it whilst I was right next to him - just made me feel so weird!

OP posts:
LivingMyBestLife2020 · 30/08/2020 20:17

I don’t see an issue. Would you have rather he woke you up?

IvyEf · 30/08/2020 20:17

Would you have preferred him to wake you up for sex? Was it late/early? Do you usually wake each other up for sex?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/08/2020 20:17

People masturbate, however good their sex life is.

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:18

I'm not too sure. I have really bad anxiety so my thought was that I'm not enough - hence him choosing porn...am I looking into this too much?

OP posts:
Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:19

I don't mind him masturbating - I do too, I just didn't know if it was odd him doing it right next to me whilst I was asleep.

OP posts:
VaggieMight · 30/08/2020 20:21

I think that's an odd thing to do while your partner is asleep next to you.

sqirrelfriends · 30/08/2020 20:23

It can't have been nice waking up to that but I don't think it was odd that he did it in the first place.

Janaih · 30/08/2020 20:23

This is a pretty grim thing to do next to your sleeping partner.

LouisBalfour · 30/08/2020 20:25

The porn thing is grim, not the wanking.

Suzyseis · 30/08/2020 20:26

I have the odd wank if I can’t sleep- can’t be arsed for the full shebang with dh but want the release of an orgasm to help me sleep. No problem as far as I can see.

Bereft2020 · 30/08/2020 20:27

This is a pretty grim thing to do next to your sleeping partner

Is it? Why? I’ve done that tonnes of times when my husbands been asleep beside me. When else would I get the time? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:27

The masturbating wasn't odd really. It was more the doing it next to me asleep and choosing to watch porn instead of waking me up to...help him out really.

OP posts:
Bereft2020 · 30/08/2020 20:28

What, so you could start a thread in here moaning about your husband waking you up for sex?

I’ve seen those threads. We all know how they go.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/08/2020 20:29

Maybe he thought you’d be pissed off if he woke you up to “help him out”. I’d be pissed off. Masturbating and porn and next to me whilst I slept wouldn’t annoy me.

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:32

I wouldn't have minded if he woke me up to be honest. I'd rather him have done that than make me feel so insecure. I don't mind if I'm not with him. It's just the whole setting of it all.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/08/2020 20:34

Your insecurity is your own problem tbh, give the bloke a break. Maybe he doesn’t want to involve you each time he wants to ejaculate.

SparklingLime · 30/08/2020 20:36

I think it’s a bit disrespectful to bung some poem on next to you while you sleep unless it’s something you’ve agreed is OK. Sounds like he just couldn’t be bothered going to another room. But it’s no reflection on you, OP.

SparklingLime · 30/08/2020 20:37

Poem = porn Hmm

SparklingLime · 30/08/2020 20:38

But he did involve her, @ThroughThickAndThin01, by doing it right next to her.

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:39

@ThroughThickAndThin01

Your insecurity is your own problem tbh, give the bloke a break. Maybe he doesn’t want to involve you each time he wants to ejaculate.
I only wanted some help not to be made a fool of. I don't think a lot of women would be happy with it - I just wanted to know if it was normal. Like I said before I don't mind him masturbating - he doesn't always need to involve me, I just thought it was off, and then the fact he apologized before I even spoke just shows he knows he's done something off.
OP posts:
Bereft2020 · 30/08/2020 20:43

What help do you want though?

I mean it’s hardly a LTB situation is it.

If it’s a red line for you, tell him that 🤷🏻‍♀️ By his reaction it doesn’t sound like he’s a dick who will carry on regardless

Original poster
EllieToday · 30/08/2020 20:44

LTB? I just wondered if it was normal and I've had a mixed response.

OP posts:
Bereft2020 · 30/08/2020 20:46

But it doesn’t really matter. I mean it wouldn’t particularly bother me but it’s you that has to live with him. Not me.

So if you don’t like it, tell him.