Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

One night stand in foreign country and can't get him off my mind!

174 replies

Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 16:42

I randomly and impulsively went on a date on the last night of my holiday. The date lasted from 8pm to 8am, talking and drinking by the sea, watching the sunrise and then some amazingly hot sex. We both said we felt a strong connection and that it was a shame I was leaving the next day. I had so much fun and felt like I was 20 again! We swapped numbers and have text a couple of times since.

Is this best left as a lovely memory or worth pursuing in any way? Was the connection stronger because we knew it was a one off? I feel like I know that was the reason it was so great but at the same time can't stop daydreaming about him and would love to invite him to come and stay!

OP posts:

Henriettalll · 02/09/2020 06:30

@livefornaps

Jump on a plane and then jump on that dick

Clutches pearls in horror at vulgarity!!!

mrsmummy1111 · 02/09/2020 07:14

Some people on this thread are seriously SO bitter.

OP - who cares what people say / think. If you liked the guy and he's keen to see you again, go visit him. Don't marry him while you're there, but there's absolutely no harm in going to visit and see if there's actually a spark there. Worst case scenario, you arrive, he's a dick (no pun intended) and you've got a funny story to tell when you return.

I have some very good friends who met on holiday in Ibiza when they were 22. She was British and he was from another European country not far from here. 15 years later they're happily married with 2 kids and living in the UK (where he moved to about 2 years after they met). I mean....the chances of that happening are of course slim, but people are on here are basically suggesting he's some loser who sleeps with random women on holiday then tricks them into giving him a passport. I mean seriously.

Original poster

Annabellerina · 02/09/2020 08:07

Jump on a plane and then jump on that dick
This thread is amazing, I've found my people 🤣
I now feel I have to go out there again just so I can update you all!!
Still massively in 2 minds, the post holiday feelings are fading but we're still chatting. He keeps sending me stray cat pics...

OP posts:

Isthisnothing · 02/09/2020 08:59

I cannot believe how suspicious people are on this thread. What century are we living in? Does the OP have zero judgment?

Op I really and truly believe life is short, grab happiness where you can. Definitely do exercise some common sense by booking your own hotel room in case he's a total bore / maniac on second viewing.

I'd also caution against you making the journey to him. Let him make an effort. If you're not ready to let him into your living area then could you meet in another part of the UK?

Lugubelenus · 02/09/2020 12:15

I would book a long weekend away in this country and invite him to join you. See if the chemistry is still there.

I had a wonderful holiday romance when I was 23, with a beautiful Italian man, he was 25, and I was convinced he was The One. Fast forward to November of the same year, and he came to London for a few days. It just wasn't the same. Part of the initial attraction was the hot sun, the long leisurely lunches, the glorious scenery, the jet ski rides - trudging round central London in the rain was just dull - and so was he.
We promised to stay in touch but after he flew back to Italy, we never spoke again.

I should have left it as a wonderful memory.

THisbackwithavengeance · 02/09/2020 12:24

I came on to say that if he's from somewhere like Egypt and 20 years younger than you then you might want to exercise caution.

But you said he's American working in Europe? So realistically he's
not using you for a visa or money.

So I would say go for it. You have nothing to lose.

Even if it goes tits up, you will always kick yourself if you don't go for it.

Original poster

Annabellerina · 02/09/2020 12:26

Part of the initial attraction was the hot sun, the long leisurely lunches, the glorious scenery, the jet ski rides - trudging round central London in the rain was just dull - and so was he I totally get this @lugubelenus I can only imagine my disappointment if this guy were to turn up in my rainy grey city and just be a run of the mill boring irritating man 😅

OP posts:

Cheeseandwin5 · 02/09/2020 12:53

I am in two minds about this, is it better to keep a great memory as just that and not get it sullen by reality or would you be missing an opportunity f future happiness.
I would lean towards going forward it but you do such horror stories of women being scammed ( and worse) in such situations.
I think you need to give it time to see if there is a real connection before seeing each other for an extended period.
Finally it is worrying that you do not want to engage in small talk , if I had strong emotions for someone I had recently met I would be thrilled with the tiniest interactions.

Original poster

Annabellerina · 02/09/2020 13:25

It's not that I'm not happy to hear from him. It's my general attitude towards texting and chit chat. I would just always prefer a face to face human interaction that allows for a more meaningful connection.

However we have been texting non stop today and it's lovely and light hearted and fun. He has mentioned that he's looked at flights over here and asked around about a certain event that he wants to take me to over there. So....we'll see.

OP posts:

corythatwas · 02/09/2020 14:00

OP, have you properly considered that you are now a Fallen Woman, basely taken advantage of by a Gay Lothario whose Intentions may not be Honourable? (did he also have a waxed moustache and wear a straw hat?)

I am sorry to have to tell you this, but the workhouse or indeed the Thames may well be your next destination. If your Papa finds out you will be Ruined. From now on, you will live your life in constant Dread of the Communication of the Blackmailer (specially look out for younger, jealous sisters in this department)

Honestly, some of the replies on this thread are just hilarious.

Original poster

Annabellerina · 02/09/2020 14:10

He DID have a waxed moustache and a straw hat

OP posts:

corythatwas · 02/09/2020 14:38

Oh dear, OP, this is not good.

(Muses on how much easier life was in the more innocent days of her own youth when women went out and had sex simply because they enjoyed it)

DianasLasso · 02/09/2020 16:35

@Annabellerina

He DID have a waxed moustache and a straw hat

You may just about get away with it if he didn't twirl it at any point.

Skibideebapbapbap · 02/09/2020 19:14

Some really boring people on this thread!

Go get you some more of dat vitamin D 😉

Saggyoldsofa · 02/09/2020 19:35

It sounds like a great experience. Also sounds like you have plenty in common. At face value sounds worth going after

Note of caution....

You say you have form for idealising men.
Dyou think this guy might fit that mould? f
Is he charismatic, enigmatic....??,

if so, be really careful. These types can upend your life and then you discover bad stuff about them..

Saggyoldsofa · 02/09/2020 19:37

Apols for typos.

Original poster

Annabellerina · 02/09/2020 20:11

@saggyoldsofa very hard to tell after only one meeting but yes I've got my eyes open!

OP posts:

Saggyoldsofa · 02/09/2020 20:19

You could get to know him on the phone though. That is low-risk and low-cost for both of you.

If you're aiming for another physical meeting, I'd get him to come to you, though. Too often, women do the running and are then left high and dry. Not always but quite often, in my experience.

LuluBellaBlue · 03/09/2020 07:27

Go for it! Life is too short and unexpected not to siege these opportunities!!

ThrawnCow · 03/09/2020 07:50

Not sure where either of you live, but you've got more chance of prolonging the magic in Budapest than in Hull.

Frownette · 03/09/2020 07:59

I like OP, she seems quite jolly.

Oh well only you know the full circs and can continue chatting and take it from there. She's obviously an intelligent woman and able to evaluate risks.

One1 · 03/09/2020 08:35

There was a young lady once who went on holiday in Europe and met a really attractive guy. He came over, got married, had kids; he is now a celebrity all over UK TV, and no one cares anymore about his dodgy past.

AlmondsAndChocolate · 03/09/2020 08:41

This is how my parents met 45 years ago, when staying in touch was much more complicated. They have been happily married for four decades now.

I'd say go for it, it's better to be disappointed by it not working out than regretting not trying!

Original poster

Annabellerina · 03/09/2020 09:14

Love that I've been described as jolly
He has offered to pay for my flight to the country he's living in but it's currently on the quarantine list so I'm afraid you will all have to wait patiently!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread