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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

One night stand in foreign country and can't get him off my mind!

174 replies

Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 16:42

I randomly and impulsively went on a date on the last night of my holiday. The date lasted from 8pm to 8am, talking and drinking by the sea, watching the sunrise and then some amazingly hot sex. We both said we felt a strong connection and that it was a shame I was leaving the next day. I had so much fun and felt like I was 20 again! We swapped numbers and have text a couple of times since.

Is this best left as a lovely memory or worth pursuing in any way? Was the connection stronger because we knew it was a one off? I feel like I know that was the reason it was so great but at the same time can't stop daydreaming about him and would love to invite him to come and stay!

OP posts:
Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 21:19

Rather be safe and boring than desperate and/or dead, chasing round the world after a bit of dick well when you put it like that 🤣

OP posts:
gypsywater · 30/08/2020 21:22

Chasing around the world after a bit of dick GrinGrinGrin hahahaha

Holyrivolli · 30/08/2020 21:23

There are so many dull repressed women who obviously haven’t done anything exciting or spontaneous in their sad lives and don’t understand that women can enjoy sex.

See where it goes Op but have your eyes open and don’t commit too much too soon. And don’t do anything which would impact your children. Good luck.

Louise000000 · 30/08/2020 21:33

I'm still in touch with the guy I got with in Faliraki 20 years ago!! We have stayed in touch the whole time and always been friends. Sometimes a connection is a connection

cherryblossommorningstoday · 30/08/2020 21:52

I'd say definitely see him and find out but preferably see if you can get him to come here

BeTheHokeyMan · 30/08/2020 21:55

I married my holiday romance !! Twelve years together now .Go for it op

NextOnesaGreyGoose · 30/08/2020 22:19

@Holyrivolli

I don't think there's any place to call women you don't know dull, repressed and sad because they may have suggested caution in this situation. I'm not one of those women but I certainly appreciate that they have a valid opinion to share.

Henio · 30/08/2020 22:27

The chasing round the world after a bit of dick comment has me crying hahaha

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2020 22:45

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Own hotel rooms, no staying with each other. Make sure people know where you are. I IDed DH the first night! Just be cautious as you would with any relationship.

Some dick is worth a small amount of chasing.

LilyWater · 31/08/2020 02:18

[quote NextOnesaGreyGoose]@Holyrivolli

I don't think there's any place to call women you don't know dull, repressed and sad because they may have suggested caution in this situation. I'm not one of those women but I certainly appreciate that they have a valid opinion to share.[/quote]
The 'bonding' hormone oxycytocin is released when a woman has sex, this is why it's so common for women to catch feelings or feel attached in some way to a guy they sleep with, despite going in with only casual intentions. It's why she can't get him out of her head now.

Due to the circumstances they met, it's very unlikely to end up being a fairy tale long term relationship but much much more likely it will end in disappointment/tears down the line (for the OP). Of course he's up for more casual no strings sex - especially if she's racing round the world to offer it to him on a plate! He's not even offering to travel to meet her, he's asking her to make the effort. If he was that keen on anything more, he would have instigated the offer to meet her himself in the first place - he wouldn't want the opportunity for something more with her to slip away.

LilyWater · 31/08/2020 02:22

*oxytocin

managedmis · 31/08/2020 02:23

What about covid?

managedmis · 31/08/2020 02:23

Yes, why can't he come see you?

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/08/2020 02:29

@managedmis

Yes, why can't he come see you?
It would be rude to invite oneself. Therefore asking to host is proper. Then if she says, "come to me" he can.
Ihave2dogs2cats5dc · 31/08/2020 02:40

Oh well i guess 'good dick is prison' isn't said for nothing.

GetThatHelmetOn · 31/08/2020 02:58

Yes, let him come. You will find it easier to see if the guy fits in your life if you have opportunity to observe him in your own “territory”.

Some fit in wonderfully in your own environment and within your social circle, some leave you wondering what the hell were you thinking about 😉

OffThePlanet · 31/08/2020 03:17

@darciesdream

It's a bit harsh to judge him by the fact he has "slept with a random woman" who he knows he'll never see again. The OP is the same, she slept with a random man?

(That's no disrespect OP, I have no issue with two consensual grown adults doing as they please!)

She's not stupid. They used protection.

I agree, women desire sex too.

I would keep in touch OP, who knows what will happen.

Notarealmum · 31/08/2020 03:20

Hmmm, if you invite him to the UK you’ll probably have to offer to let him stay with you, whereas if you go to his country you can stay in a hotel and keep that degree of independence in case it doesn’t work out.

1forAll74 · 31/08/2020 03:29

Its a lovely memory, and often happens to many people. I did a Shirley Valentine years ago, it was so lovely, but I came home, and that was that. You will just have to wait and see what happens in your situation.

popsydoodle4444 · 31/08/2020 03:38

@Annabellerina

You only live once and Covid 19 has proved that anyone of us could have had our lives snatched away in a heartbeat.

Ask him if he'd like a dirty weekend away with you.Go eat delicious food;drink cocktails and have some fantastic sex.

Agree you don't expect anything from each and its an extended one night stand.If you find you connect even more then it might go somewhere and if not;it's another great memory to have and smile about.

If he says no to meeting again;well enjoy the fab memories you already have

SenorPeabodyEsq · 31/08/2020 03:50

You're texting and then asking to travel to be together. I feel like you're missing a fairly significant step.. talking on the phone? That would be a way to find out if the spark is still there.

tami2k · 31/08/2020 04:11

My move would depend on the effort made from him in this

LilaButterfly · 31/08/2020 04:13

I met DH on an excursion in my own country. He was studying there (4h from where i lived). We texted a bit and met up some weekends and when he went back to asia after his studies a few months later i just dropped everything and moved there with him.
We are married 15 years now and living back in europe.
I say go for it!

Egghead68 · 31/08/2020 04:23

Why not give it a go?

Blwoingbubbles · 31/08/2020 05:50

‘Get and STD test’
‘Get a pregnancy test’

... because heaven forbid a woman should ever enjoy casual sex without it making them dirty or impregnated.

Jesus some of the comments on here are just laughable.

Op I’m glad you have a fab time and I’d just keep that as a great memory and one of those unexplainable great moments in life!

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