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Original poster

One night stand in foreign country and can't get him off my mind!

174 replies

Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 16:42

I randomly and impulsively went on a date on the last night of my holiday. The date lasted from 8pm to 8am, talking and drinking by the sea, watching the sunrise and then some amazingly hot sex. We both said we felt a strong connection and that it was a shame I was leaving the next day. I had so much fun and felt like I was 20 again! We swapped numbers and have text a couple of times since.

Is this best left as a lovely memory or worth pursuing in any way? Was the connection stronger because we knew it was a one off? I feel like I know that was the reason it was so great but at the same time can't stop daydreaming about him and would love to invite him to come and stay!

OP posts:
NextOnesaGreyGoose · 30/08/2020 18:50

Just... You can't stop thinking about him but haven't texted much because you don't like small talk? That doesn't make sense to me, I think you're daydreaming about a man who doesn't exist and the man who's actually texting you doesn't hold much interest for you.

DianasLasso · 30/08/2020 18:56

Ah, I'm getting warm fuzzy feels from this - takes me back to an amazing weekend with a bloke I met 30 years ago (we didn't Shah, we just hung out together and talked and went sight seeing. But there was definitely something there. In my case I "wrapped it up in tissue paper and put it in a drawer" as one of my friends put it, but I sometimes think Sliding Doors fashion that there's a parallel universe out there where something came of it Grin.

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 30/08/2020 19:07

Go for it! Do g listen to these Nay sayers. Keep texting and see where it goes!

fuandylp · 30/08/2020 19:12

He has since text with chit chat which I haven't hugely engaged with cos I'm not a small talk person!

Perhaps try to chat to him by text and see where it goes.
Would it be easy to visit him in his country or him come to you should you really hit it off?
If it's difficult then I'd probably just let it go but if you were in neighbouring countries or countries with good transport links to each other then maybe it could work

Normandy144 · 30/08/2020 19:14

I married mine. Same as your situation we both were from different countries and met on holiday in another country. Spent 3 or 4 days together on the same your, exchanged contact details and I traveled to see him soon after we met. About a year long distance relationship and then i moved to his country and we went through the immigration process which was long but I don't regret it.

Normandy144 · 30/08/2020 19:14

*tour

Lifeisabeach09 · 30/08/2020 19:16

Better than online dating with UK men who dress in cycling lycra and hold fish in their photos

Grin Grin

LilyWater · 30/08/2020 19:16

@Raidblunner

Get an STD test
This.

You're romanticising about a random guy who used you for some casual sex. I think you should be more worried about what he could have left you with. Some STDs still spread without a condom and if he's happy to sleep with a random woman he knows he'll almost certainly never see again you're certainly not the first he's doing this with.

darciesdream · 30/08/2020 19:19

It's a bit harsh to judge him by the fact he has "slept with a random woman" who he knows he'll never see again. The OP is the same, she slept with a random man?

(That's no disrespect OP, I have no issue with two consensual grown adults doing as they please!)

She's not stupid. They used protection.

Heartbroken21 · 30/08/2020 19:27

There are some right miserable sods on here 🙄

Keep in touch with low expectations OP, you never know what might come of it!

Lifeisabeach09 · 30/08/2020 19:28

You're romanticising about a random guy who used you for some casual sex. I think you should be more worried about what he could have left you with. Some STDs still spread without a condom and if he's happy to sleep with a random woman he knows he'll almost certainly never see again you're certainly not the first he's doing this with.

Goodness, was your partner a virgin when you met him/her? Everyone a person sleeps with may have picked up something from someone else, holiday romance or not, casual or not.
As for him 'using' her, it sounds like a mutual and consensual experience.
As for STDs, those that spread even with condom use (such as Herpes and Genital Warts) can only be tested for IF SYMPTOMATIC so getting a STD at this stage would be pointless. Unless, of course, the OP was worried about the condom splitting.

Cornettoninja · 30/08/2020 19:28

@NextOnesaGreyGoose

Just... You can't stop thinking about him but haven't texted much because you don't like small talk? That doesn't make sense to me, I think you're daydreaming about a man who doesn't exist and the man who's actually texting you doesn't hold much interest for you.
I think this is very astute.

I think enjoy the memory and the fantasy but if the texts fizzle out then leave them be and accept that’s the end. Don’t go texting out of the blue months down the line.

I think it’s 50/50 whether a second meeting would ruin your memory of the first.

Ginger1982 · 30/08/2020 19:34

If you really can't stop thinking about him you would be much willing to engage in the small talk. What country is he from?

I would probably be wary. Chances are it might not be as good second time around and it sounds like you're just interested in the hot sex anyway!

RiseoftheSeahorse · 30/08/2020 19:37

I agree with the PP who said keep in touch with low expectations.

It probably is best kept as a wonderful memory, but then I know 3 people who married their holiday romance.

Suzi888 · 30/08/2020 19:37

Enjoy the memory ... or fly out there for a weekend and see what happens!

Therollockingrogue · 30/08/2020 19:40

What did you chat about op? When you were sitting by the sea?

Keysunshine · 30/08/2020 19:45

Whereabouts does he live?

Original poster
Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 19:46

I think you're daydreaming about a man who doesn't exist and the man who's actually texting you doesn't hold much interest for you fair point! It wouldn't be the first time I've idealised someone without knowing the first thing about them!

I have just begun to engage in the small talk to see what happens. Very low expectations.

OP posts:
NextOnesaGreyGoose · 30/08/2020 19:47

Oh....keep going with the small talk... It could lead to great conversations .... Or nowhere. But give it some oxygen. I'm glad to hear that.

Original poster
Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 19:48

Laughing at @lilywater's comment. You could also say I used him for casual sex...

OP posts:
Original poster
Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 19:51

He's from the states (even more unusual as I would never normally agree to a date with an American!) but living in Europe, in a country with very cheap flights between here and there.

OP posts:
OhdearSummersOver · 30/08/2020 19:52

If you are definitely both free then arrange a meet up somewhere in between both of you and see how it goes - no major expectations and just see what happens. Otherwise you might always think... what if..

Original poster
Annabellerina · 30/08/2020 19:56

So I responded to his small talk and he immediately asked if I would visit him!

OP posts:
Therollockingrogue · 30/08/2020 19:59

Why does he live in the European country? Work?

chubbyhotchoc · 30/08/2020 20:00

So he wants you to travel thousands of miles to him for more casual sex? Don't be a doormat. If he's that bothered he'll come to you

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