I agree with both @chubbyhotchoc and @Inching even though they are sort of arguing with each other.
I was also 31 when I started OLD, also had a DC and didn't want my time wasted. So I also required a fair bit from my dates, asked for what I required, never apologised or explained myself or any of that. One friend, who struggled with boundaries and was often treated badly by men, got quite angry when she heard what I required and what I got... "who do you think you are??" was also thrown at me 
but, I was sorting the wheat from the chaff and made no excuses for it.
And I also shagged very early... because I was assessing them. If they didn't want to see me after, that was part of the assessment process, they'd been screened out. This same friend would get upset with me for doing this as well... "you're flooding the market with free sex!!", she'd cry but of course to me, I don't see sex as a currency, I see it as something I'm assessing compatibility with. For her, she would "invest" time, and then "pay" the man with sex, in the hope that she would get affection, commitment and nice feelings in return. This is quite a normal sort of transaction in our culture - women are brought up to expect it.
Of course she was usually dreadfully let down because the men could smell on her that she was looking to be loved, and not assessing them on whether they were worth loving (if that makes sense). I was always doing the latter and it did, I think, attract different men vs. what she attracted.
Dating is a hard one, it brings out all our vulnerabilities because ultimately, we are all looking to be loved. Some of us are tougher and perhaps have a touch of narcissism, enough to sustain us as we hold back and assess the other person... some of us are tender hearted and just can't hold back like that. It's very hard! It isn't actually a moral argument. I think it's to do with how people "are" deep inside, it's not something that is easily changed.