Dating Thread 193 - Remembering Rule 7

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Oh congratulations @WooMaWang - what lovely news! Is the baby slightly ginger too do you think? Really happy for you - a lovely OLD success story!

@unambiguousbeard, @sortingitout @Lovemusic33 - I am very likely to have sex with two people over the weekend. I am frantically trying to take my mind off Mr Beard as I came SO close to messaging him last night but then Mr Bike messaged me as I was in town and asked if I was free for a quick after work drink and rescued me! Why I am so fixated on someone who was a bit of an arrogant, vain, selfish arse when there are nice men about, I have no idea. (Except I do) Honestly, I need a slap.

Congratulations @WooMaWang I must admit I have searched your username a few times in the last few weeks to see if there had been a baby announcement.

@Lovemusic33
On the plus side you're free to meet your FWB tomorrow

Maybe you and Mr Ski just arent meant to be anything but friends (no benefits)

@WooMaWang I was wondering! I tagged you as a horny sea creature to find out what happened as I couldn't remember your new name! Congratulations! Fabulous news. That really is. 😊

I didn't plan to shag two men on the same day, it was just circumstances. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it @UtterSocks and would try to avoid it. I had a bit of a stock take after that as it was just a bit... much.

[quote SortingItOut]@Lovemusic33
On the plus side you're free to meet your FWB tomorrow

Maybe you and Mr Ski just arent meant to be anything but friends (no benefits)[/quote]
Yes, I am kind of pleased. My ski makes me feel ‘not goo enough’, his life’s very different to mine (he’s very rich, I’m almost poor), at least FWB is easy to be with and we have a laugh.

@UtterSocks He’d not slightly ginger at the moment. He was born with a covering of very short dark hair (a lot like mine) but it’s all rubbing off now. Maybe some slightly gingery hair will grow in eventually.

Sorry to hear it was a disappointing date @Lovemusic33.

Aha it will be consecutive days @unambiguousbeard. I have to take my opportunity while my daughter is out. I’ve slept with them both before. One is my FWB Mr Extreme who I only get the chance to see occasionally and I thought I should give Mr Bike another chance as maybe he was just nervous first time, or maybe I set the bar too high, and he was so sweet to me last night. I don’t know what to do with the nice ones.

I have arrange to see FWB tomorrow 😋, first time wasn’t that great but I think we were both a bit nervous and over excited, hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more relaxed.

I think it’s always worth a 2nd chance if things were not that great first time, first times are often a bit rubbish due to nerves, excitement and not knowing what each other like.

Help! Advice!

This is why I can't be bothered with men. Tell me what you make of this? He just posted a pic of a pint on insta. I messaged and said, 'Dutch courage?' And then (because he can't do his work at the moment And has said he doesn't have a lot to do) 'you really don't have much to do at the moment, do you? I'm not sure how I'd cope with that.'

Response- 'what a charmer. Remind me why I'm coming tonight'
Was I rude? I didn't mean to be. I just meant to be sympathetic as it's rubbish having to fill your days. But his response was really rude. I don't think I'll bother. Any advice?

@unambiguousbeard
Just say I was being playful and it was lost in the text translation

@unambiguousbeard
Maybe a laugh or wink emoji would have helped

He said he was joking when i explained I was being sympathetic. Can't be doing with over sensitive. I wonder if I've got ASD sometimes. DD 2 just got her diagnosis. I'm not feeling it now but I'll have to go

Congratulations @WooMaWang that is really lovely news. And good luck with the forthcoming wedding, even though it isn't as you had planned. I agree people with be sympathetic next year. And grateful of reasons to celebrate as, hopefully, life returns to more normality.

Congratulations @WooMaWang and Mr SG! welcome to the world little WoomMaBabe

@unambiguousbeard to be fair, I think both of your texts (your initial comment and his reply) could be taken either way depending on how you read them/are feeling at the time !

They could come across as a little bit arsey or jokey! I would just put it down to the pitiful of a message versus the phone or face to face where intonation and facial expressions are everything!

Pitfalls not not pitiful

Huge congratulations Woo and Mr SG. So pleased you updated. Glad you are well and healthy. X

Whilst some of the old faces are around may as well let you know I think Mr M will make it long term. It's still very early days in my head and even earlier in his but we are happy and suit each other so well so as much we are taking it one step at a time, we both think there's a good chance of a long term future.

In case it helps those still dating, I didn't play the numbers game. I kept my focus on what I was looking for in a Mr Right Now and kept with that until I found Mr M who has turned out now only to be an amazing Mr Right Now but my Mr Right. Good luck to you all.

@unambiguousbeard

He said he was joking when i explained I was being sympathetic. Can't be doing with over sensitive. I wonder if I've got ASD sometimes. DD 2 just got her diagnosis. I'm not feeling it now but I'll have to go

I’m possibly on the spectrum, I easily take things the wrong way but can also write things in a way that sounds bitchy rather than sarcastic. I’m great at over thinking everything. I would go and see him and see how it goes.

Mr Ski hasn’t messaged about our date 🤣 I’m guessing I won’t hear from him again.

I’m worrying about the increased covid cases and the fact we may now end up in another lockdown. Dating has been hard enough this year, meeting outside is going to get less fun as the weather gets colder.

Oh I know @Lovemusic33 it's so depressing.

Hi @NotsosaltyanymoreSally that's great news. I seem to remember there was some kind of dealbreaker that made you think it wouldn't last but I'm glad that wasn't a dealbreaker after all!

Yeah I'll see how it goes. Just taken the excitement out of it. I'd rather stay home as get on with my shit!

@unambiguousbeard

Help! Advice!

This is why I can't be bothered with men. Tell me what you make of this? He just posted a pic of a pint on insta. I messaged and said, 'Dutch courage?' And then (because he can't do his work at the moment And has said he doesn't have a lot to do) 'you really don't have much to do at the moment, do you? I'm not sure how I'd cope with that.'

Response- 'what a charmer. Remind me why I'm coming tonight'
Was I rude? I didn't mean to be. I just meant to be sympathetic as it's rubbish having to fill your days. But his response was really rude. I don't think I'll bother. Any advice?

I'm not sensitive at all, but I would find that rude, sorry.

Can I join this thread? Split with my ex and have since had a couple of OLD relationships. One was a lovebomber emotionally unavailable man who broke my heart and another fwb who I had a lot of fun with. Just started seeing someone else and I think this has legs.

Which bit @Sakurami mine or his?

Thanks @unambiguousbeard
Mr M didn't hit a deal breaker. Maybe that was someone else or another of my irons who definitely did and were booted as a result. Mr M has always been great.

@unambiguousbeard

Appreciate you didn’t mean it offensively but yes - I am with him. It wasn’t a pleasant message at all. And presumably your message was public? So others would see it’s not not got much to do. Yes, i would be put off if someone messaged or worse still posted that comment

I wouldn't post anything on someone's timeline unless I knew them very well. So
Not public, no. But who has time to have a pint on a Wednesday afternoon? I don't have time to fold the washing let alone go to the pub. And he'd already said he has too much time so I was just agreeing really.
Anyway I'm going but not feeling it. I'm clearly not very good at social nuances. Feel like I'm a horrible person.

@unambiguousbeard, for what it's worth I didn't read it as being unpleasant or sarky. You're not a horrible person. At worst you are muddling through like the rest of us and finding a way to connect with someone. I hope that the date is better than you are currently anticipating.