Dating Thread 193 - Remembering Rule 7

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Damn, I shaved my legs. Maybe I’ll leave the house a bit messy...

You are right though, if I get into the mood where I want to take him back to mine, I’ll likely not care about anything else

@JaggySplinter I've always kept dating and kids separate and was intending on keeping it that way but it seems they have other ideas! My eldest actually suggested I went on "that dating app". So much for protecting my babies from the trauma of me having boyfriends...

Body hair wouldn't stop me shagging either, I'm haphazard at the best of times. When I went on my first date with exh I deliberately left my flat a disgusting mess. It didn't work as we just went back to his.... I'm much more sensible these days. I think.

Still sleeping with mr U for those who remember. I'm getting a bit bored of it now though. I just wish I could find someone I fancy. It's thin pickings

The non shaving doesn't help me. I once went to bed with a man with an unruly boosh and legs like a goat

For the record. I was the one with the big boosh

Oh bugger. I’ve shaved my legs and cleaned my house. I’m screwed aren’t I?

I’ve got my first date with Mr Scotland today. I’m terrified. We’ve been texting for too long really so the anticipation / expectation / anxiety is high! It’s only my second date in over 12 years (and the firsts was a disaster) so the whole snogging/sex/intimacy thing would be scaring me even without Covid making it more complicated.

I’ve been messaging several people but I’ve realised I don’t feel comfortable with multi-dating so - depending on how it goes, I might need to bring that up too (maybe save it for a later date!)

Oh, and what the heck do you wear on a walking date?

Morning - just found this thread and would love to join. 48, 2 years divorced with 2 DC. Have been dating a while and recently seeing a man who's separated but still getting divorced. Recently got the impression he was pulling away and now no texts for a week. Now I'm not sure if he's doing the slow fade or needing space. Would ask but it seems needy .

That moment on your first date when he reveals his brother is on the run in Europe from the police as raped his sisters when they were kids. I knew I shouldn't have gone!

What's the general feeling on once you've decided not to see someone again - do you actively block after you've delivered the Thanks but no Thanks? Remove from contact list? Do nothing?

@cravingthelook I'm appalled on your behalf that Mr Planner waited until after you'd DTD to inform you he wasn't up for seeing you again. Only slightly less horrible than being ghosted I imagine but not by much. Be kind to yourself.

@Ruralbliss

That moment on your first date when he reveals his brother is on the run in Europe from the police as raped his sisters when they were kids. I knew I shouldn't have gone!

What's the general feeling on once you've decided not to see someone again - do you actively block after you've delivered the Thanks but no Thanks? Remove from contact list? Do nothing?

@cravingthelook I'm appalled on your behalf that Mr Planner waited until after you'd DTD to inform you he wasn't up for seeing you again. Only slightly less horrible than being ghosted I imagine but not by much. Be kind to yourself.

I went on a date with someone who announced he had just been released from prison after a long sentence for armed robbery. I just sent the “thank you for the date but I didn’t feel a spark” wished him well and removed his number from my phone. Don’t give him any head space, move on. X

@Ruralbliss, wow! That’s got to be up there on the “things not to say on a first date” list! I think I’m that situation I’d be inclined to block 😳 that’s a lot of family drama going on!

Good luck to everyone on dates today. I had the worlds smallest first world drama this morning. Washed my hair with new shampoo/conditioner, dried it and there is a greasy residue left and no time to wash again. So I’ve french plaited it to hide the grease but I’m not as confident with my hair tied up, I’ve got nothing to hide behind.

I am REALLY looking forward to this date. This guy is fun and radiated charisma so can’t want to see what he has lined up 😊

@LivingMyBestLife2020

Dry shampoo?

I tried but it’s more the lengths that look ratty. It’s up now and I’ll just have to deal with it.

I’ve taken a lot of steroids over the summer so my usual slim face is very round. Having my hair down hides it a bit but now my moon face is shining in its full glory 😂

Block mr easy going @Dancerinthemoonlight ? You know he's not for you. Good luck with your first date.

@notcoolmum I didn't want to have to get to the stage of blocking but I will if he just doesn't get the message

My date given me choice of coffee or glass of wine.... in your experience, which better?

@Decentsalnotime

Is this the first in-person meet? I kind of think wine - if he’s not great just go for a rum and coke or g and t as you can drink those fast, not get drunk and be done within the hour.

If he is ok then the alcohol will add a bit of frisson.

@Decentsalnotime I didn't mean any malice on the thread, it was just a thought I had on my walk. I have reported the post to mumsnet and asked them to delete it.

Not malice
But racist

Yes a first meet. My first date for 15 years.

I can’t believe it, he’s very attractive and our communication has been be interesting and easy. No matter how it ends up, I’m genuinely looking forward to meeting him!

Ok - I’ll suggest wine. Thank you!

Im sorry if you took it as being racist as I didn't mean it at all in that way. Best of luck on your date.

For what it’s worth I stand up for myself, don’t take any crap at all off anyone and I’m white.

@Rainn21 ditto

What spurious reason do you have in back pocket in case you need to wrap up early?! If I’m uncomfortable, I will say so. If it’s just that I don’t fancy him, I don’t want to hurt feelings!

I don’t know if it’s the best strategy

but I’d generally plan to not commit to too much time (at first) So don’t agree to a whole evening or dinner before meeting (but you can extend if you get on)

then do the standard “must head off now it’s been really nice chatting to you” if necessary?

If the date is dragging there’s no need to feel the need to “jolly things along” as you should both feel the same way! Obviously if the guy is pushy or a creep I wouldn’t stress too much about his feelings!

I’d say one or two drinks but obviously depends how bad the conversation is

(Thank GOD you’re not having a “walk round a park with a can or s coffee” unstructured lockdown date.

Interesting experience but not one I’d like to repeat!)

Just back from my date with Mr Sunshine. 6 hours of pure heaven. I didn’t invite him back to mine but my god did I want to! I don’t think I’ve ever been so physically attracted to a guy in my entire life. He is so unbelievably hot and sexy and I couldn’t stop touching him. I’m a gibbering wreck now 😂

He said he doesn’t get many matches on the apps and he assumes it’s because he is ginger. He most definitely is better in the flesh than his pictures, he smells devine, he’s very well groomed, good clothes etc... so I’m more than happy he’s not in high demand.

We talked loads and he’s an open book which is so refreshing. He’s happy to see me over my way as appreciates I have a toddler and as he works from home He’s happy do lunches in the week when my son is at nursery. I am pretty confident I’ll be seeing him again before the week is out.

So it’s a cold shower for me tonight!

livingmybestlife Ooh, how lovely! He sounds wonderful!

Well, my kids are back, my 2 weeks of freedom are over, and I feel like I've got a massive excitement hangover. Meh. Should be packing to go away but I'm slumped on the sofa swiping through Tinder. Why?! It's driving me mad. I need to have a break and go back on Bumble.

My second date with Mr First&Last was OK....so, I've been introduced to all his friends already, who have all approved apparently . He's definitely part of a "scene" based around the local pubs. I mean, a man with a good social circle is a definite plus, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Plus, in the part of our date when we walked to the pub, I'm not sure that conversation flowed really well. And he was constantly walking a few steps in front of me. I don't know, we have talked about meeting again, and I'm willing to give it another go to see if he loosens up a bit, but....His texts are also pretty boring one liners. It's funny, because on paper he does interesting stuff, but it doesn't really come through

(plus, Mr BigCityBoy has let it be known that if it doesn't work out with this one, he'll be more than happy to drop everything to spend he night with me. Which is a very tempting offer...)