Prostitutes

[allgoodinthehood]

Can I please have an honest opinion on what you really think of people who use prostitution.
I was talking to a friend about it and we had completely different ideas on this subject.
ie a man using a prostitute when he was in a relationship and was away on holiday.

I just think they must be a bit sad and inadequate to have to pay for sex tbh. Especially in this age of hook up sites etc I’d say there’s either something wrong with them in that they can’t attract women the usual way or that they enjoy the power exchange of buying a woman which again points to something not being quite right with them. It would put me off a man if he admitted to using prostitutes.

I think they're scum and what they do is criminal

I have nothing against prositutes. You do what you have to do.

I do think there are different kinds of prostitutes. The ones that are forced to work or work the streets trying to get a fix. I would be disgusted at any man using them. These men deserve punishment. These are woman that need help. Not raped and violated.

There are some women that do this because they want to. I have a distant cousin that is a fairly high end prositute. No one is forcing her. She treats it like a business and makes good money. She claims to enjoy it. I am sure she must have some horrible experiences she doesn't tell people about. She consents, you have to buy that consent but she is providing a service. This feels better to me than than the other type of prositutes.

I would loose respect for a man being with prositutes. It's hard not to judge, but even the men have there reasons for visiting. Some may be lonely, or not getting sex at home. I'm not trying to justify it. But if a man is willing to pay to a decent amount of money for sex. (Because it shouldn't be cheap.) Noone is being forced to do anything they don't want to do. He does not mistreat the woman. Uses protection, it's all clean. Then I would hope he is at least trying not to take advantage of the more desperate women.

@WendysNightmare

I have nothing against prositutes. You do what you have to do.

I do think there are different kinds of prostitutes. The ones that are forced to work or work the streets trying to get a fix. I would be disgusted at any man using them. These men deserve punishment. These are woman that need help. Not raped and violated.

There are some women that do this because they want to. I have a distant cousin that is a fairly high end prositute. No one is forcing her. She treats it like a business and makes good money. She claims to enjoy it. I am sure she must have some horrible experiences she doesn't tell people about. She consents, you have to buy that consent but she is providing a service. This feels better to me than than the other type of prositutes.

I would loose respect for a man being with prositutes. It's hard not to judge, but even the men have there reasons for visiting. Some may be lonely, or not getting sex at home. I'm not trying to justify it. But if a man is willing to pay to a decent amount of money for sex. (Because it shouldn't be cheap.) Noone is being forced to do anything they don't want to do. He does not mistreat the woman. Uses protection, it's all clean. Then I would hope he is at least trying not to take advantage of the more desperate women.

The problem is, as a client, how you do sort the genuinely disempowered prostitutes from the (few) empowered ones? You can't really. No prostitute is going to share that she's doing it because she is in a corner and can't see a way out.

That's why it is wrong to visit a prostitute, doesn't matter what the situation is.

Everyone is assuming that it's only men who pay for sex - women also use prostitutes

Comparatively rare.

And.if women are using prostitutes alongside their partner for threesomes, imho they're fine stepford .. no matter how much they think they're being liberated and cool and risqué. They're as bad as the men.

You get lots of women who have no empathy, no conscience and no integrity too, I've sure as hell met plenty.

*gone stepford

@GilbertMarkham

Everyone is assuming that it's only men who pay for sex - women also use prostitutes

Comparatively rare.

And.if women are using prostitutes alongside their partner for threesomes, imho they're fine stepford .. no matter how much they think they're being liberated and cool and risqué. They're as bad as the men.

You get lots of women who have no empathy, no conscience and no integrity too, I've sure as hell met plenty.

Rare but it does happen

And people have mentioned it's illegal - not everywhere, some places it is legal.

I don't think you can tar everyone with the same brush.

I used to work in sexual health and I had to ask people if they paid or been paid to have sex. I think you'd be surprised by how many people actually answered yes for all sorts of reasons and in different situations.

I'd consider sugar daddies/sugar babies prostitution but others don't

Sex outside of a relationship (unless previously agreed by both parties in advance) is cheating regardless of who it's with, whether it's ONS or prostitute or anything. It would be the deception and having sex, which in my opinion is an intimate thing, with someone who wasn't me that would be the deal breaker for me

No-one can possibly know the series of events that led someone into prostitution. It's impossible. Therefore a man using a prostitute doesn't know if she has been coerced, trafficked or is doing it out of desperation.

For this reason, men who use prostitutes are no better than rapists in my eyes.

It,s not rape ift,s consensual. Ok there is money but it,s still consensual. I don,t think it is right but there aredifferent prostitutes. I remeber a programme based in Paddington in London following a working transexual, who basically coped with it by getting drunk. Yes it was her choice but never really found out why they did it.

@june2007

It,s not rape ift,s consensual. Ok there is money but it,s still consensual. I don,t think it is right but there aredifferent prostitutes. I remeber a programme based in Paddington in London following a working transexual, who basically coped with it by getting drunk. Yes it was her choice but never really found out why they did it.

I once had a woman sobbing in my office, about to go out working, because she didn't want to do it but she desperately needed a fix. I tried but she went anyway. She's dead now. I sometimes see her sister who is still grieving. I know someone that worked with her family when they were growing up. Chaotic, addicted and antisocial.

A tear-stained face, track marks and looking like she did, no man could have mistaken that for consent. Yet she had customers every single night.

The punters simply don't ask and don't care. That's not consent.

as she crying when she went with them. I come from suffolk I am well aware of the poor drug addicted girls who lost their lives and the poor girls in Norwich whose killer was never found. (they seem to be forgotton.) Yes I expect many are raped regularly but in a court of law you would not be able to call consensual sex with a prostute and a punter rape.

Consent must be freely given. If money is changing hands then it's not freely given. Yes there will be a tiny minority of women who genuinely want to have sex with people for money but the truth is none of the customers can tell the difference. A man who uses prostitutes has no concern for women and is not someone I could even be friends with let alone in a relationship with.

I would have a negative view on a man who used prostitutes...even more so if he was in a relationship.

I was just thinking... what my view would be on a woman who paid for sex. Not so much negative...but I'd feel sorry for her.

@june2007 yes, you're right, because we live in a fucked up culture that allows men to buy access to a woman's body. I don't care what you call it, I personally call it rape.

@june2007

as she crying when she went with them. I come from suffolk I am well aware of the poor drug addicted girls who lost their lives and the poor girls in Norwich whose killer was never found. (they seem to be forgotton.) Yes I expect many are raped regularly but in a court of law you would not be able to call consensual sex with a prostute and a punter rape.

Rape within marriage was legal until recently. It was always rape.

SAndy why negative view on men but not on the women who use prostitues, thats a hypicritical wouldn,t you say.?

I don,t think sex workers would call every trick rape or sexual assault would they?

It,s not rape ift,s consensual. Ok there is money but it,s still consensual

Consent can't be bought, permission can but that's not what consent means (or rather should mean) in a sexual context. The term 'enthusiastic consent' is nearer the mark because no one should be having sex they don't actively want. Needing the money from a punter doesn't mean they actively want the sex, they just know they have to do it in order to get the money.

And from the punters perspective, imagine having sex with someone you know is merely tolerating it because they want/need the money! I think you have to be a special kind of fucked up to enjoy that, to not feel repulsed by the idea that they don't want or desire you in any way, just the contents of your wallet, ugh (not envy)

@Daisysandviolets

I personally think if someone is single then it's each to their own but if your in a relationship it's cheating and absolutely not ok! Paying or not paying your still being intimate with someone other than your partner! That being said I guess some people have different relationships/agreements and that's upto them but I personally would not be ok with it.

Ex escort here -most men that use them are married or with a partner, men aren’t able to be faithful and some are paying for sex as business, yeah it’s business for the lady getting paid but it’s not business for the man so I used to hate when they came out with this crap.

Personally I couldn’t have a friendship with a man that has paid for sex more than just once being age 18 and trying it out for curiosity at that age, but if he made it his regular sex life, and plenty creeps do, then I would end the friendship there and then, obviously after doing it for 15 years on and off then this is why I’m so against men paying for it because of what it does to our heads, I now have PTSD and doc thinks being a sex worker was part of the main catalyst for this condition! But men that pay know this about the women but they don’t give a fuck because their cock comes first.

It’s a huge deal breaker for me.

@Hidingtonothing

It,s not rape ift,s consensual. Ok there is money but it,s still consensual

Consent can't be bought, permission can but that's not what consent means (or rather should mean) in a sexual context. The term 'enthusiastic consent' is nearer the mark because no one should be having sex they don't actively want. Needing the money from a punter doesn't mean they actively want the sex, they just know they have to do it in order to get the money.

And from the punters perspective, imagine having sex with someone you know is merely tolerating it because they want/need the money! I think you have to be a special kind of fucked up to enjoy that, to not feel repulsed by the idea that they don't want or desire you in any way, just the contents of your wallet, ugh (not envy)

Because quite simply they are deluded OR they don’t give a fuck, they just have ‘needs’!! Men that pay for sex are all sexual abusers imo.

Thank you @Inappropriatefemale for sharing your experiences.

How many men would actually admit to having bought sex though? I think many more do than we realise.

@WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName

How many men would actually admit to having bought sex though? I think many more do than we realise.

I had an ex admit to me that he lost his virginity to a sex worker. I dumped him shortly thereafter.

I wonder if some people want to get it off their chest, like a confession. Because they know it's wrong.

@WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName

How many men would actually admit to having bought sex though? I think many more do than we realise.

I had to ask everyone when I work in sexual health (not the postman/porter/cleaner etc just patients) and I was q surprised by the number of people who said yes

@Blushingm - just out of interest what % of men said yes, do you think?

If it's too much detail to give that's OK. Just curious.