Page 3 | Prostitutes

StillWeRise · 21/08/2020 19:27

you cannot buy consent
I absolutely would judge anyone who used a prostitute whatever his circumstances- decent men do not do this regardless of not being able to find a partner/disability or whatever other excuse. I would not give this person the time of day unless obliged to eg for professional reasons.
Even if the above were not the case I would truly wonder at the sexuality of a person who could have 'sex' with someone who was not a fully willing and active participant- what kind of pleasure could anyone take in that and what does it say about the rest of their sexual activity?

GilbertMarkham · 21/08/2020 19:30

I briefly dated an older man whose buddies, all married men with children and often grand children went into brothels on golf holidays to Portugal etc.

I hadn't even thought of Portugal as a likely place to have brothels but these guys were clearly highly motivated, this was even before the internet was really in popular use.

They were paying for sex with women young enough to ve their daughters, in some cases granddaughters while their wives thought they were just off golfing with the lads (and probably thought they were well past that sort of interest or behaviour).

Behind it lies utter entitlement, including the "what they don't know won't hurt them" schtick.

The one I was dated was less good at keeping infidelity on the Qt, had more than one affair and was going through a divorce when I dated him. He became really vulgar when drunk , referred to women habitually as bitches, gripped my arm painfully when talking to me (apparently unaware), and having told me he really liked "big knockers" started pointing out women when drunk whose busts he liked a d thought were a good example. He joked about a boob job for me. Through all this he was impotent and claimed it was recent, which I found out was untrue.

The relationship did not last (obviously) but if illustrates exactly what these men are like behind the pc surface.

At least his prostitute in Portugal was lucky - since he couldn't get it up.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 21/08/2020 19:37

@AgeLikeWine

Some single men genuinely struggle to find girlfriends. They can try as hard as they like using OLD, hobbies etc but cannot find a woman who is willing to have sex with them.

Many women don’t understand this, because any woman can get as much sex as she wants. All she has to do is set up a Tinder profile and say she is looking for ‘no-strings fun”. She will be inundated with offers.

These men then face a choice. Celibacy or paying for the services of a sex worker. In that situation, and assuming the sex worker is making a free choice to do her job, I’m not going to judge either party to that business transactIon.

Oh well, that's fine then. We can't have men struggling, can we? Poor things.

Springfern · 21/08/2020 19:47

I see it as rape. You can't buy consent. Yes I would judge them single or not.

ScrambledSmegs · 21/08/2020 19:49

Anyone who 'uses' another human being like an appliance doesn't deserve respect. Whether they're in a relationship or not.

Springfern · 21/08/2020 19:50

nordicmodelnow.org/myths-about-prostitution/myth-punters-care-about-the-women-they-buy/

This makes for a grim read

MondeoFan · 21/08/2020 19:52

A man I knew admitted to using prositutes whilst in a relationship and when single. I think it was cocaine driven. Either way he was and still is a vile person.

beanbaggo · 21/08/2020 19:57

Do you know any women who use them?
Men doesn't bother me really, but don't know if I knew of women using them id feel the same

Regularsizedrudy · 21/08/2020 19:58

I have no problem with sex workers. But I think men who buy sex are disgusting and I have nothing but contempt for them.

supersonicginandtonic · 21/08/2020 20:03

I work in substance misuse, therefore hear daily, the awful things that go on.
The women are raped and beaten regularly. Often the men don't give them the money. They live such sad lives but carry on out of despEration to feed their habits. The majority have made suicide attempts and the ones that haven't wish they had the guts to take their oWn lives.
it's such a tragic cycle and mOst Of then had horrific childhoods that led to their drug use in the first place.
The men who use them are the ones in the wrong in my eyes.

MsTSwift · 21/08/2020 20:04

I used to work in office where we travelled internationally the men that used prostitutes were seen as grim sleazes by all the women and the decent men. Looked down on.

UtMalumPluvia · 21/08/2020 20:05

Dh says he'd stay celibate and masturbate before purchasing a body to fuck.

He's spent a lot of time working away in Holland and out of ten married men, only two didn't purchase sex workers to use. The men who did, made no attempt to find out if the woman he was purchasing consent from was there through an actual free choice or if they were there because of addiction or coercion. They genuinely thought the women enjoyed it and that they orgasmed and they also acted like they were doing the women a favour by paying to use their bodies and seemed to think they were funding future doctors through uni or something. Delusional sad bastards dh called them.

UtMalumPluvia · 21/08/2020 20:10

I also have a good friend who was forced into this when she was 17 by a much older boyfriend.

She was terrified and he'd isolated her from her family, she said a few times she'd tell the men she didn't want to be there and was forced into it, instead of walking out and getting her help they raped her anyway and then complained to scum who's forced her into it that she cried too much. She's then get a walloping from her "boyfriend".

A look on the invisible punter and the reviews men leave shows that men who purchase a human to use sexually don't give a flying fuck about anything other than their dick.

Vodkacranberryplease · 21/08/2020 20:25

Yes much as I don't judge the women and some of the men that see them (Ok I probably do judge the men) I would never go out with a man who saw sex workers or had seen them.

As has already been said these women are ususlly victims of sexual abuse - often in childhood. Or trafficked. There is no consent and yet the myth of the 'happy hooker' continues. Men are so stupid sometimes - do they not fucking get it that these women's livings snd sometimes their very lives depend on them spouting on about how much they love sex and love doing it?

How long would a prostitute last if she actually told the truth? How thick do you have to be to fall for this? But really they don't care. They really don't give a shot because women are not people to them.

Vodkacranberryplease · 21/08/2020 20:29

And one thing I've noticed about sleazy men. They want to get all the other men involved so they can get their behaviour normalised. So they will manipulate other men using various tedious tactics like 'are you under the thumb?' 'what's wrong with you' etc.

They are constantly recruiting other men to their hooker holidays and their nights out. And men are so, so gullible and fall for it because they want the other men to like them. They want to fit in. Peer group pressure motivated many men more than just about anything else. It's truly pathetic.

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 21/08/2020 21:09

Can I please have an honest opinion on what you really think of people who use prostitution.

I think they are misogynist pieces of shit. Likewise their apologists.

GilbertMarkham · 21/08/2020 22:05

*And one thing I've noticed about sleazy men. They want to get all the other men involved so they can get their behaviour normalised. So they will manipulate other men using various tedious tactics like 'are you under the thumb?' 'what's wrong with you' etc.

They are constantly recruiting other men to their hooker holidays and their nights out. And men are so, so gullible and fall for it because they want the other men to like them. They want to fit in. Peer group pressure motivated many men more than just about anything else. It's truly pathetic.*

100%.

They always try and sadly often succeed in dragging everyone else in their group down to the same level.

Rogerdoger · 21/08/2020 22:30

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Anordinarymum · 21/08/2020 22:35

The thing here is, that some men who have sexless marriages at home but don't want to divorce see sex workers as an alternative to having an affair which can end up very messy.
I wonder if a wife would prefer to know her husband was using a condom on someone he did not know or doing it without with someone he might have feelings for ???

Just sayin........

Anordinarymum · 21/08/2020 22:36

Cause you can guarantee that wives always blame the other woman :)

Especially when the husband has a sob story :)

MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 22:38

@Anordinarymum

The thing here is, that some men who have sexless marriages at home but don't want to divorce see sex workers as an alternative to having an affair which can end up very messy. I wonder if a wife would prefer to know her husband was using a condom on someone he did not know or doing it without with someone he might have feelings for ???

Just sayin........

I’d prefer not to be married to someone who thought it was ok to treat women’s bodies like a commodity that can be bought and sold. Just sayin...

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 21/08/2020 22:41

@Vodkacranberryplease

And one thing I've noticed about sleazy men. They want to get all the other men involved so they can get their behaviour normalised. So they will manipulate other men using various tedious tactics like 'are you under the thumb?' 'what's wrong with you' etc.

They are constantly recruiting other men to their hooker holidays and their nights out. And men are so, so gullible and fall for it because they want the other men to like them. They want to fit in. Peer group pressure motivated many men more than just about anything else. It's truly pathetic.

This is true. BiL tried to get DH involved in a FaceTime conversation with one of his “sugar babies” one night when DH had called in to see him. DH thinks he was trying to say look, normal girl, normal chat, nothing monstrous about it at all. Except the girl was in Italy, stunningly beautiful and about 19. BiL is a 60 yr old out of shape desk jockey with nothing going for him other than his bank balance. BiL talks about it like others talk about golf or cycling...

Vodkacranberryplease · 21/08/2020 22:52

@Anordinarymum I think that sex workers always use condoms. Generally it's non sex workers who don't worry, though I'm sure sex workers make an exception and it depends on the level they operate at. But they are pretty hot on it post aids.

Bwlch · 21/08/2020 22:53

sex workers do not want to be sex workers

I once chatted to a very sophisticated and extremely attractive woman in the foyer of an hotel in Monaco while waiting for my husband. It turned out that she was prostitute. She enjoyed her job and made no secret of it.

MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 23:17

@Bwlch

sex workers do not want to be sex workers

I once chatted to a very sophisticated and extremely attractive woman in the foyer of an hotel in Monaco while waiting for my husband. It turned out that she was prostitute. She enjoyed her job and made no secret of it.

This is obviously the exception not the rule. Most prostituted women fall into it out of desperation and have substance abuse problems. Most people do not enjoy having sex with people they don’t find attractive.