Prostitutes

[allgoodinthehood]

Can I please have an honest opinion on what you really think of people who use prostitution.
I was talking to a friend about it and we had completely different ideas on this subject.
ie a man using a prostitute when he was in a relationship and was away on holiday.

When I went out cleaning peoples' houses, I was not taking it up the arse or doing degrading sex acts. I was just cleaning. There is no comparison. Cleaning did not leave me with mental and emotional issues

@stamfordhill I am assuming you are a man to think this way and it makes me wonder what you have been getting up to as well to defend it.

@NiceGerbil

If you can't see why it's relevant then you really are coming at this from a certain angle.

It's interesting that you flat out refuse to answer.

Your children are hungry. You are behind on your rent. They need new shoes.

A man offers you money for sex. What's your price? An hour. £100? £800? £1500?..

You say everyone has a price. Your children are hungry. What's yours?

I would chose another way of getting the money.

I think what makes me uncomfortable with the idea of selling sex/your body is that:

When you accept the cash, you supposedly enter into a deal where the man can use your body as he likes, with no regard for your pleasure. You are probably also obliged to feign pleasure as part of the understanding. Or, in order to get through the process, you have to actually get into it (if possible).

This, to me, is so deeply degrading that I don't think we as a society should condone or allow it.

1. Mellow, it's Stamford I'm asking, given his posts I'm interested

1. How do you choose another way of getting the money if there is no other way. You seem very naive.

I can't believe there isn't another way. This may be an easier way but ...

So if the only way to earn it was to murder someone for cash, would you do it? A stupid que

Murder is illegal
Prostition is not

'survival sex' has been on the increase in the UK since UC.

Why do people keep equating selling sex to committing a crime? It's a really interesting phenomenon.

I’d sell my body to pay the rent and feed the kids if I had no other choice.

My price would be over 1k though But then I’d be on a slippery slope and do it again when I’m skint and this Is how many find themselves in reality.

I can't imagine it's that easy to find customers who will pay that kind of money tbh

I judge the man who goes to a prostitute, not the woman who may have been coerced or forced into it by economic circumstances. I want to see more done to help women out of prostitution.

My price would be over 1k though

Nope.

Prostitution used to be a nice little earner. It was very much frowned upon, and there wasn't mass addiction to drugs so the pool of women was smaller and the demand was great. So it was well-paid. Supply and demand. Now there are so many addicted women that unless you are selling a very niche service or are exceptional in some way, you are absolutely not earning 1k for 'normal' sex.

Addiction, debt and trafficking are the ways male pimps find enough women. Not by asking around for women who like sex or money a lot.

@StamfordHill the main difference is that even though consent is given at the time, in theory, the reality is that the 'work' itself is very damaging. So a person going in to clean up asbestos without PPE because they are so desperate is a similar thing. They know the asbestos isn't safe but they don't fully appreciate what is happening and won't until they are very ill.

SWs end up with sometimes very severe psychological damage. Sometimes it's mild psychological damage. They are forced into a lot of anal - which isn't safe unless carefully managed and limited. Porn actresses completely destroy their ability to hold their bowels. That's adult nappies. think about that.

There's pressure to perform sex acts without condoms and the very real danger of violence from pimps and customers. Some of which a SW may not be aware of at first and then it's too late. Hence the drugs to cope. Going from SW to a 'respectable' job isn't easy. Women are trapped through trafficking.

So yes there's consent but you are consenting yo a great deal of damage being done to you. We do not allow anyone else to put themselves in harms way like this for the sake of a job.

[quote Vodkacranberryplease]@StamfordHill the main difference is that even though consent is given at the time, in theory, the reality is that the 'work' itself is very damaging. So a person going in to clean up asbestos without PPE because they are so desperate is a similar thing. They know the asbestos isn't safe but they don't fully appreciate what is happening and won't until they are very ill.

SWs end up with sometimes very severe psychological damage. Sometimes it's mild psychological damage. They are forced into a lot of anal - which isn't safe unless carefully managed and limited. Porn actresses completely destroy their ability to hold their bowels. That's adult nappies. think about that.

There's pressure to perform sex acts without condoms and the very real danger of violence from pimps and customers. Some of which a SW may not be aware of at first and then it's too late. Hence the drugs to cope. Going from SW to a 'respectable' job isn't easy. Women are trapped through trafficking.

So yes there's consent but you are consenting yo a great deal of damage being done to you. We do not allow anyone else to put themselves in harms way like this for the sake of a job.[/quote]
👌

Please will you lot give this 10 minute video a watch! Despite all the disgusting stuff that goes on in this industry which nobody in their right mind is okay with, a great number of sex workers (and their clients) are not some disgusting creatures with no empathy as this site only seems to care about. It's not all the abused woman and abusive/rapist man scenario you all seem to want it to be...it's a destructive view to think so. If you hate the idea of prostitutes and their clients then you have to also admit that porn is no different, it's people being paid for sex and therefore anyone watching it (a great deal of people) are facilitating this disgusting abuse you all talk about. That would make any teenager that stumbles across porn and enjoys it some sort of abuser, which is absurd. And what about people going on a night out and having cheap one night stands after being bought a load of drinks? That is surely worse...first of all the sex is unprotected, unlike if someone was visiting a prostitute and they have had to be intoxicated to have sex with someone that is little more than a stranger, i guess buying drinks is a good substitute for consent then...a viable payment for sex in some regard? How is this more moral than someone talking to a woman on one of these sites, sending a few messages and then with as much consent as this sort of work allows, the escort and client meeting up? I agree wholeheartedly with many points and the darker side of this industry is abhorrent but across the internet this has to be the most one sided account of sex work I've ever seen. I'm only attaching this video and saying this as an attempt at some sort of reasonable dialogue; a sex worker has their own mind, often an intelligent one that can think for themselves. I say this as I have two friends in the industry who are quite frankly sick of being treated like they are some abused victims with no mind of their own.

1. Lol, it's not some kind of gotcha to say "if you think prostitution is bad you must also think porn is bad". They're both fucked up (to be clear - the exploitation of women's bodies on an industrial scale is bad)
2. Why is this site obliged to put "both sides"? It's not a media outlet, it's individuals' viewpoints. If you don't like it, go and read opinions everywhere else that support the exploitation of women's bodies on an industrial scale
3. Nothing against your friends, I'm sure they're empowered feminists with 100% agency but that's not the average prostituted women or girl
4. I watched the beginning of your video, omg poor men, please girls, do more to service their lonely sad dicks that need connection

You cannot buy consent. Remove the money and the prostituted woman would not consent to the sex. Paid sex is not consensual. Therefore paid sex is rape, the money is exchange for the rape to not be reported.

Pornography is awful too. It damages the women involved and the watchers, although they could literally stop any time.

I could go on but to make it easy for you:
Pornography = bad
Prostitution = bad

If a woman is starving, put food in her mouth, not your dick.

I have zero respect for men who use women in this way, I think they’re pretty much all rapey misogynists.
You may think it’s extreme to call them rapey, but how many men do you think do their absolute upmost to ensure the woman they are paying for, hasn’t been trafficked or forced? How are they checking?

@Rosalie1991

Please will you lot give this 10 minute video a watch! Despite all the disgusting stuff that goes on in this industry which nobody in their right mind is okay with, a great number of sex workers (and their clients) are not some disgusting creatures with no empathy as this site only seems to care about. It's not all the abused woman and abusive/rapist man scenario you all seem to want it to be...it's a destructive view to think so. If you hate the idea of prostitutes and their clients then you have to also admit that porn is no different, it's people being paid for sex and therefore anyone watching it (a great deal of people) are facilitating this disgusting abuse you all talk about. That would make any teenager that stumbles across porn and enjoys it some sort of abuser, which is absurd. And what about people going on a night out and having cheap one night stands after being bought a load of drinks? That is surely worse...first of all the sex is unprotected, unlike if someone was visiting a prostitute and they have had to be intoxicated to have sex with someone that is little more than a stranger, i guess buying drinks is a good substitute for consent then...a viable payment for sex in some regard? How is this more moral than someone talking to a woman on one of these sites, sending a few messages and then with as much consent as this sort of work allows, the escort and client meeting up? I agree wholeheartedly with many points and the darker side of this industry is abhorrent but across the internet this has to be the most one sided account of sex work I've ever seen. I'm only attaching this video and saying this as an attempt at some sort of reasonable dialogue; a sex worker has their own mind, often an intelligent one that can think for themselves. I say this as I have two friends in the industry who are quite frankly sick of being treated like they are some abused victims with no mind of their own.

In return, I suggest you read this: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33113238

Pretending that there isn't a massive amount of abuse in the sex industry and having a go at the people who are objecting to it helps absolutely no one.

It’s gross. I found a forum once about massage parlours - men sharing their tips on how to get hand jobs for a tenner because the women basically have no choice and keeping their wives in the dark. It was just so disgusting the way they talked about it like it was normal. Like they were sharing tips on beating a video game. Exploitative disgusting wankers.

I think the fact that two of the main professions where women can earn more money than men are porn and prostitution say everything about the DISEMPOWERMENT of women . The fact that things that involve selling our bodies for men’s pleasure are some of the rare times we are even financially compensated in line with what men make says a lot
Men who use sex workers are scum and
Pathetic That’s my opinion . They think consent can be bought and that women are nothing more than pieces of flesh to obtain if they have the money

Men who pay to rape are revolting.
And no woman with real agency in her life would choose to be paid to be raped. Even in the best of cases (not trafficking, drug abuse etc) there is always something missing that shouldn't be: education, opportunities, mental health, maturity etc.

@Grimsknee

1. Lol, it's not some kind of gotcha to say "if you think prostitution is bad you must also think porn is bad". They're both fucked up (to be clear - the exploitation of women's bodies on an industrial scale is bad)

1. Why is this site obliged to put "both sides"? It's not a media outlet, it's individuals' viewpoints. If you don't like it, go and read opinions everywhere else that support the exploitation of women's bodies on an industrial scale
2. Nothing against your friends, I'm sure they're empowered feminists with 100% agency but that's not the average prostituted women or girl
3. I watched the beginning of your video, omg poor men, please girls, do more to service their lonely sad dicks that need connection

Okay, I can't argue with them points and it must be stated that I don't think prostitution as a whole is any good, certainly the way it is currently for most women in the world now...but I think it would be healthier to come at this from another angle. I only mentioned porn because the general consensus around the world seems to be a one that is tolerable of porn, when it's nothing other than filmed prostitution. With this in mind it's obvious we live in a stupidly over-sexualised world okay? Sex education for most now is porn, my generation and the generation below us (even more so) have grew up with it stuffed in our faces, women and men alike are being exploited here; if the women are being exploited in the industry more so than the men, the damage it is doing to men who watch it is also terrible. It's free for a reason, because the viewers pay with the damage it does. Anyway, I'm not here to promote prostitution but to put out some points that nobody seems to care about, because this isn't some black and white profession with known evils and that's what this group is doing, it's assuming that a woman must be there out of a lack of choice and that every man who visits these girls has to be scum, this may be true in many cases but it's far from some universal truth everyone here appears to think it is. My two friends who class themselves as independent escorts, they had a proclivity to be promiscuous let's say, even slightly wild, but deep down are fairly ordinary, happy women, they always have been, which is probably hard for some people on this forum to accept. One entered the industry and clearly found it easier than she imagined, she certainly prefers doing this for five-seven hours a week than the 40+ hour a week job she described as hell and likewise and possibly due to the fact she doesn't see a massive number of men or is being coerced into this, she doesn't have many bad things to say about the people that visit her. And I know this girl, she's a very good friend and couldn't hide her feelings from me. And the other sex workers they have met through this appear to be on the same page both with regards to themselves and the clients they see, they're certainly not wanting to run to the police in fear! So with all this in mind it's hard for me to identify with the notion that your average prostitute (in the UK) is some victim of abuse and that anyone who visits them is immediately a rapist and the worst sort of person. If the woman are victims then so are the men, they grow up in a world where sex is pushed in their faces through porn, they get dragged down by it, become lonely (it's no coincidence that 75% of people who commit suicide are men), they see an attractive looking girl on these sites and they visit her (usually I'd imagine out of loneliness and desperation) and then what...they have visited a sex worker a few times and forever condemned as a rapist by society? If the women in sex work are victims, then I imagine the majority of men who visit them are too. In my honest opinion it needs to be decriminalised and not hidden away so the corruption can be stamped out as much as possible, there needs to be checks everywhere by police and groups to assure that most of the woman in this industry worldwide are brought out and given support and a chance to do something else but likewise the women that choose to remain should be helped as best as they can to make this a safe occupation as it can be and that is not done by accusing anyone who has visited a sex worker as a rapist. That's an opinion and fair enough if you think that way but there's rapists and there's people who have visited a prostitute a handful of times, labelling them both as the same isn't right in my opinion, the industry may well attract rapists but there are people in relationships being abused and raped and there will be people visiting a sex worker who have really done very little wrong in my eyes. The Beatles all slept with prostitutes regularly when they were in Hamburg before they were famous, they were surrounded by them, I think it would be quite insane to say they are rapists as this group seems to encourage. A true rapist is the worst human being imaginable, I just don't think your average guy that has visited a sex worker sometime in their life qualifies as that at all!

@Naunet

I have zero respect for men who use women in this way, I think they’re pretty much all rapey misogynists. You may think it’s extreme to call them rapey, but how many men do you think do their absolute upmost to ensure the woman they are paying for, hasn’t been trafficked or forced? How are they checking?

Hi, I'd agree with you that a very small amount of people visiting a prostitute can check or even know the woman hasn't been forced into it, which is terrible. But the only real way around this would be for it to be legalised and checked over much more thoroughly than it currently is, push anything underground and corruption becomes terrible, help can't be achieved due to legality etcetera. In all honesty I think there needs to be a thorough check into pimps and the reasons the woman are doing this. If you make prostitution completely illegal it's going to be a black market like drugs and only harm is going to come from that, the best we can hope for is trying to make sure the women are independent escorts doing this of their own back (which I know most here will agree is impossible) and likewise that the men allowed to visit these women are not the abusive types (again, something most people on here will believe is impossible). I guess the best we have at the moment are sites where the sex workers and clients appear to be in some sort of unity where both attempt to alleviate as much corruption from the situation as possible or call out someone that is abusive so they can be arrested but of course it needs to improve...if it can.

Not sure what you're saying. Your friend is empowered and loves her job, and men who use prostitutes are victims. Including... the Beatles?

@Grimsknee

Not sure what you're saying. Your friend is empowered and loves her job, and men who use prostitutes are victims. Including... the Beatles?

In a nutshell, yes! I think at least some woman are empowered and not your typical victim (a lot no doubt are) and that a lot of men who use prostitutes are a victim of society, have possibly been abandoned in some way and want some physical connection or affection, the vast majority are not doing this with abuse in mind I imagine. And I mentioned the Beatles to indicate the sheer amount of men from all different walks of life that end up meeting a prostitute at some time. Are they really heartless monsters for having met a prostitute in their late teens/early 20's? Because that's as black and white as this site appears to be, it cannot separate from the idea that a woman must be a victim and a man must be an abuser/rapist. Apologies anyway, that paragraph was aimed at everyone that had commented, not just yourself.