What's the appropriate terminology for your "nether regions" in a new middle aged relationship?

[pipandpoppy]

Just that really! Have me a new man and when he used the word "fanny", I felt a bit queasy! Equally, "willy" sounds ridiculous at our age!!

@tutorwho

Is Taco shell a valid alternative? 😂

That's just reminded me of one an old colleague used...

Beef Curtains

Nice!!!

Throbbing thrillhammer and squidge mitten

😂

Me and my DP were inspired by The Inbetweeners (I know) and adopted the term 'clunge' for my parts, which I like, as it has a nice soft sound, unlike harsh / nasty 'cunt'. Dick or cock for his bits seems fine.

Or you could go full on tantric, which is his 'wand of light' and your 'sacred space'. LOL!

What about peen?

I've just come across a very apt blog post, aimed at budding erotic novelists. It lists a plethora of words for the male and female anatomy, as well as the act of sex itself. Feast your eyes..... 👀😂😂😂

PENIS
• fiery swollen staff
• hard pulsating arousal
• bulging fullness
• engored fleshy sword
• rock-hard tumescence
VAGINA
• apex of her legs
• damp petals of her needy place
• the portal to her moist womanhood
• molten heat within
• passion-moistened depths of her secret centre
SEX
• He possessed her Lilly
• He rose up to meet her hot, burning need
• plunged into her sacred petals
• love’s hot lava flowed
• slipped into her moist tenderness
• she strained against his impaling shaft

@AuntieJoyce

He remarked that the cat was washing her twinkie the other day.
I’m now using Twinkie just to entertain myself. Not worn thin yet.

Metaphorically speaking
Not actual manual entertainment you understand

😂😂😂😂😂

@firecracker69

I've just come across a very apt blog post, aimed at budding erotic novelists. It lists a plethora of words for the male and female anatomy, as well as the act of sex itself. Feast your eyes..... 👀😂😂😂

PENIS
• fiery swollen staff
• hard pulsating arousal
• bulging fullness
• engored fleshy sword
• rock-hard tumescence
VAGINA
• apex of her legs
• damp petals of her needy place
• the portal to her moist womanhood
• molten heat within
• passion-moistened depths of her secret centre
SEX
• He possessed her Lilly
• He rose up to meet her hot, burning need
• plunged into her sacred petals
• love’s hot lava flowed
• slipped into her moist tenderness
• she strained against his impaling shaft

Thanks @firecracker69 that's incredibly um... helpful..

OH uses the word dick but then he is from Yorkshire.

Men get all the good words. What do we get? Pussy (porn), cunt (the lesser of evils), fanny (just... don't), and my personal favourite..MINGE. We've got twats and snatches and beavers and gashes. We need a new word, ladies!

We are childish & use Viz type phrases in conversation. I don't think we use any during the actual business, but I'm no good at sex talk, or sexting, it just makes me feel awkward. We will say "let's play Mr Wibbly hides his helmet" but only in a jokey way

Haha. I always use fanny in and out of the bedroom. Agree that pussy is so cringeworthy, it sounds so pornified.

@firecracker69

I've just come across a very apt blog post, aimed at budding erotic novelists. It lists a plethora of words for the male and female anatomy, as well as the act of sex itself. Feast your eyes..... 👀😂😂😂

PENIS
• fiery swollen staff
• hard pulsating arousal
• bulging fullness
• engored fleshy sword
• rock-hard tumescence
VAGINA
• apex of her legs
• damp petals of her needy place
• the portal to her moist womanhood
• molten heat within
• passion-moistened depths of her secret centre
SEX
• He possessed her Lilly
• He rose up to meet her hot, burning need
• plunged into her sacred petals
• love’s hot lava flowed
• slipped into her moist tenderness
• she strained against his impaling shaft

This is so hilarious. I'm going to refer to mine as my "moist womanhood" in future. I'm sure partner won't mind.

Hmmm, think I'll suggest to Mrs PC that she allows my rock-hard tumescence explore the damp petals of her needy place.

I'll let you know how that went, after I have regained consciousness.

@achillesratty 🤣🤣🤣 hilarious..you have cheered up my morning

The lyrics for Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo are very informative if you haven't listened to the song lol

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter-dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker

Retro-fit the pudding hatch, ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la
With the pork steeple,
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where pronto

Squish mitten may be my favourite. But I do like to go for shock when random sending a sext lol

@Shhimtryingtosleep

The lyrics for Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo are very informative if you haven't listened to the song lol

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter-dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker

Retro-fit the pudding hatch, ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la
With the pork steeple,
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where pronto

Oh dear. That's really grim

He once referred to his 'kidney wiper'. I think my laughter stopped him doing so again

I did once use the phrase "Lung Banger" but that was on a good day :o

@LuluJakey1

Cock and cunt for sex but if we are chatting and DC are around it would be willy and tutti.

I assume you don't play in an orchestra...

Dying at the dyslexic comment above

Come in my month