Failed sex this morning - who was right

[madderose]

Name changed for this cos embarrassing. We are staying at our in laws. Our DC aged 7 and 10 were staying in a room across the landing, and pil's room is over landing too. Stairs are right next to our room. Large Victorian farmhouse with very thick walls so not much chance of being overheard. Dc usually get up v early as in 6am and entertain themselves until we come down and sort breakfast.

Dh initiated sex at about 7am. I was happy to have sex but I feel like we have an unspoken understanding that in circumstances like these it is a quicky, for obvious reasons. But this morning for some reason dh seemed to be taking him time. I was Conscious that dcs could be close to wanting breakfast, and we really needed to get Up and just wanted him to finish so we could get on with the day. He picked up on the fact that I am frustrated with him and it ends unsatisfactorily for both of us. This NEVER usually happens.

WIBU? Surely the only acceptable sex to have in the morning when you are staying in someone else's house is a really quick quicky? That's what we usually do. I've no idea why he was taking so long, but he says it was Off putting that I was clearly impatient.

@madderose just ignore OP. I think some of these posters sound like they need a good shag themselves

YABU

But your post isn't about having children in the house; it's about doing it in your PILs house when you want a quickie because of a) possible noise and b) possible interruptions

No you are right, it's not about that.

Other posters had broadened the discussion like the one who said she could always hear her parents at it. So I was responding to that.

I'm shocked by all these people who are shocked by people having sex in other people's houses.

And I'm shocked by all those people who are shocked by all these people who are shocked by people having sex in other people's houses.

Actually, I'm not at all. I totally agree with you. Life is short. Here's to sex in other people's guest bedrooms. 🍻

WIBU? Surely the only acceptable sex to have in the morning when you are staying in someone else's house is a really quick quicky?

You are either very muddled in your thinking on it, or trying to make your thread into something else now.

You have spent 4 pages telling everyone how you can't be heard [in your opinion] but now it's all about being 'quick' but for no apparent reason.

Quick because your kids were downstairs starving to death or quick because you are not comfortable with sex in your PILs house?

Try being honest.

I don't see the problem of having sex in someone else's house and I am surprised that others have this view. To me it's normal, no matter where we stay unless for whatever reason there is zero privacy.
Just out of interest, do lots of you make such a holy mess having sex that it's so 'disgusting and disrespectful'. I really don't leave a trail behind me!

This thread reminds me of reading a book by Ian McEwan. I always wonder why they didn't just have a short conversation at the start to clarify expectations.

Oh ffs.

I should have put lighthearted in the title shouldn't I??

I've been accused of being "disgusting and disrespectful" and been told that my husband is a rapist.

I don't think I've said anything contradictory.

I will take advice of PP forget it and move on.

@madderose
Of course having sex when one has DC is acceptable...But not when they are likely to blunder in, or overhear.

I was actually frightened by the sounds {as was my sibling}

Being quiet, a locked door or going wild when DC aren't there are all acceptable.

A friend said she too was scared by sounds...she thought her mother was ''ill''.....she went in, and caught her parents 'in flagrante'' and said it appalled her.

Damn, OP is getting a hard time here! I think she was fine with the sex and wasn't worried about being overhead. She was also considering the fact that she was at the in laws house, and expected a quickie.

It was a miscommunication. No big deal.

Posters are going way overboard here.

Just make up for it tonight if you're back home 😉

We’ve been staying with my parents for several months now, to help them during lockdown.

Should we not have been having sex?

Yes, I was happy to have sex, and I wasn't especially worried about being overheard. I just expected it would be quick.

The only times we ever really have long slow sex sessions are:

When we go away to a hotel for that express purpose

When dc are staying overnight at gps (hasn't happened much recently for obvs reasons)

If dc are asleep in bed. This one doesn't actually happen very often, as we are both generally knackered from Both working ft etc.

We do often have morning sex, but it's generally v quick. If we are Staying at someone else's, we do it, but it's generally quick.

I would imagine this is similar for most couples with similar aged dcs??

I think the miscommunication came from my incorrect assumption that it would be quick.

"I will strip all beds including those used by dcs and stick them in washer before we
Leave."

Please don't try to fit all the sheets, pillow cases and duvet covers from two single beds and a double bed into the washer at the same time. That's all I have to offer.

@cultkid

I would have just relaxed and had sex

So would I.

@PintOfBovril

"I will strip all beds including those used by dcs and stick them in washer before we Leave."

Please don't try to fit all the sheets, pillow cases and duvet covers from two single beds and a double bed into the washer at the same time. That's all I have to offer.

Brilliant!

Thanks for the detailed itinerary - I've just got to clear it from head now.!

Op I’m sorry about all these pp.

Your husband saw you were distracted and stopped. That’s a good thing. Way better than him not noticing or noticing and not caring. These things happen, talk about it with him and then forget it. Don’t feel hurt or offended, it was just the situation.

With regards to the mess, I’m thinking either:
Pp own one of those purple lights they have in crime dramas to see trace amounts of bodily fluids and scan their guest’s sheets with them
Or
Pp have watched too much porn (fun fact: face cleaner Cetaphil is a popular fake spunk)

My kids are 7 and 10. My DH works away in the week so time alone is especially rare and precious, but we manage to contain our sex to times when we wont be overheard or interrupted by the kids (or anyone else!) usually when the kids are asleep. We recognise that as nice as sex feels it’s not something you should subject your kids to overhearing.

Oh and FWIW most couples actually get up with their kids in the morning and spend time with them, rather than letting them sit glued to the tv whilst mum and dad have sex.

I think it is quite sweet that you were worried about it! Sounds like you have a good marriage and sex life to me.

What is the issue with someone having sex in someone else's house?!

One of my friends said they conceived their child in our old spare room - the roses I put next to the bed may have helped 😂😂

@madderose walk away from the thread. The prudish frothers are out in force trying to nitpick and trip you up on every little thing!

Your DH was more than likely enjoying himself and it stretched out longer than you expected. He's not a machine OP.

Oh and FWIW most couples actually get up with their kids in the morning and spend time with them, rather than letting them sit glued to the tv whilst mum and dad have sex.

Oof! Nice little dig there.

How do you know what most couples do? Perhaps we all spend our weekend mornings shagging away and you just didn't get the memo.

@looselipssinkships - 'stretched it out longer than you expected...'??? If only...!