Failed sex this morning - who was right

[madderose]

Name changed for this cos embarrassing. We are staying at our in laws. Our DC aged 7 and 10 were staying in a room across the landing, and pil's room is over landing too. Stairs are right next to our room. Large Victorian farmhouse with very thick walls so not much chance of being overheard. Dc usually get up v early as in 6am and entertain themselves until we come down and sort breakfast.

Dh initiated sex at about 7am. I was happy to have sex but I feel like we have an unspoken understanding that in circumstances like these it is a quicky, for obvious reasons. But this morning for some reason dh seemed to be taking him time. I was Conscious that dcs could be close to wanting breakfast, and we really needed to get Up and just wanted him to finish so we could get on with the day. He picked up on the fact that I am frustrated with him and it ends unsatisfactorily for both of us. This NEVER usually happens.

WIBU? Surely the only acceptable sex to have in the morning when you are staying in someone else's house is a really quick quicky? That's what we usually do. I've no idea why he was taking so long, but he says it was Off putting that I was clearly impatient.

Am I the only one imagining that scene from Gavin & Stacey?

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat

When you say... Dh initiated sex at about 7am ... does he ring one of those bell things that they have on hotel reception desks or fire a starting pistol?

Ive no idea why he was taking so long

How sexy and romantic. I don’t blame you OP for having sex in someone else’s house but I do judge you for making it sound like something he should be getting on with, blaming him and then whinging about it on here.

I couldn't relax to have sex at my parents or PIL (although the latter owned a hotel so that was a bit different and maybe, just maybe, now and again....)

No one was right or wrong, you just weren't in the mood.

Christ I couldn’t, with Kids and in laws roaming about outside, how long are you there for that you needed to shag at your in laws with rhe kids up already?

Why is it disrespectful? Or disgusting? Whenever I have guests round even if it's just for one night I'll strip the sheets or most often, they will strip the sheets themselves. Beds are for sleeping and sex. Nothing disrespectful about it provided it's not super noisy and waking people.up.

LEELULUMPKIN Nessa and Smithy in the bathroom (with the toilet brush)?

Totally overthinking it! 😁

@Bettercallsaul1 No she means when Gavin and Stacey are shagging and everyone else is downstairs having breakfast . Pam has to put the radio on over the noise.

My kids are early risers too. I wouldn't be having sex a whole hour after they were awake in the first place.

It’s a bit grim and try hard having sex whilst your 10 and 7 year old are up and about, let alone the fact you were staying in someone else’s house.

Sex is a lovely pleasurable activity- but it really should be private.

Oh thanks, MrsGrindah! So many delights in that series...

Well, firstly, you are making this a bit of a huge deal when it needs not be.

This is exactly why I dont particularly enjoy having sex in other people's houses- its not relaxing or sexy at all wondering and worrying if someone can bloody hear you or will knock on the door. Huge turn off. Its no wonder neither of you had a happy ending. Stop having sex in awkward situations, then you wont end up feeling disappointed will you?

Problem solved.

Gosh am obviously an outlier here because I’d have no qualms at all about having sex with my partner in another persons house . What a bunch of pearl clutching prudes you all are . That said would stick a towel under me or him as totally agree about ‘ mess ‘ etc .

Have you really never had unsatisfactory sex in 2 decades together? Jealous!

Saying that, I could never feel very keen staying with parents or PIL. Xh, I suspect, used to get quite the buzz out of it. He would initiate it every damn time, & get thoroughly sulky when I said I'd really rather wait & shag on our own sheets.

Definitely wouldn't be doing it anywhere anyone but one of us was stripping the bed & loading the machine. That does feel a bit grotty - although I wouldn't mind coming across evidence of sex if I was the one doing the laundry after having guests to stay.

I blame my mother. One of my daughters had a messy period last time we stayed. She came to me, we stripped the bed & put a wash on, & I asked mum for a fresh sheet.

She spent the next three days furtively giving me carrier bags & muttering about which day the bin men came, whilst casting meaningful 'shhhh!' looks in the direction of my dad (who is a father of two & presumably vaguely aware that his teenage dgds menstruate...).

It's hard to shake that level of residual embarrassment - I'd forgotten till then that my mum used to get upset if I left a lillets wrapper in the bathroom bin!

@Estrellente

I hope you used a condom. Either wise it’s grim to make someone else wash your sex sheets.

You should get a washing machine.

I had an Ex who always wanting a lot of sex when we were staying in other peoples houses. I used to find it really off putting to be honest, as it was often in the morning when everyone was getting up and it’s a bit rude to be honest. I don’t want to be facing my friends knowing that they could hear everything. Going to bed late is fine - but like others have said it’s someone else’s bed too!

My Ex was quite selfish about sex though, it’s like he was almost being rude about it with friends and not respectful. I mean we can have sex anytime in our own home you don’t have to be initiating it in a friends house when kids and adults are up wanting breakfast. It’s just... kind of not on?!

I'm just distracted by the six bedroom Victorian farmhouse, sounds lovely. Is it still on a farm?

Tell him it was off putting for you in someone else’s house with the kids awake too... and he’s now putting you in an awkward position

Because it's disgusting and disrespectful?

Oh for heaven's sake.

Some real prudes on here! Nevermind it takes all sorts...

Also pretty troubled by the odd poster seeming to insinuate something non-consensual here.

OP I think you are doing great if a misfire like this is troubling you so much and is clearly a rare occurrence. I'd suggest you and your DH let it be water under the bridge and make up for it at another time. 😁

In 20 years it’s the only time sex hasn’t been fabulous?

Bloody hell