I’d rather be dead.

[despairingandunhappy]

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

Omg what a horrible excuse for a human being! Im so sorry you are going through this. Well done for reaching out i hope you get out and away from that prick asap! X

Have you got your own bank account, OP? One that he can’t access? Just thinking it will be important for you when it comes to benefits etc. When you do leave, make sure you take ID (proof of identity - passport or driving licence, and proof of address - a bill within 3 months old) with you if you possibly can. Banks are trained to support this kind of situation but you can make it easier for yourself by having those documents if you can.

Leaving your selfish, abusive partner is less drastic than death. Benefits will be much better than the scraps you get now

He doesn’t have actual access to my actual account he just takes my bank card to draw money out of my account, thankfully I don’t have to worry about changing accounts

As soon as you leave change your pin, in the machine.

Tell the bank. They will issue you with a new card. Cut up the old one. He wont be able to take anymore money out.

That’s my plan too, new card and pin

Take anything you have about your bank details, passport, birth certs, tax returns, payslips, uc details, debts. Anything he could use to access your private information and mortgage details.

I'm praying for you @despairingandunhappy that you manage to get out tonight. Stay strong! 🌹

Nothing available as of yet. Have to keep hoping and praying. He is evil and I’m just noticing it now. He has left me starving and lied about eating out when I know he has. I need to keep seeing things like this because it’s making me realise my whole worth

Have they got any idea when a place might come up. Can you stay with your auntie while you wait.

I’m sorry they’ve not been able to find you a place yet. I’m sure they’ve told you this already but don’t tell him you’re leaving or let any hints drop that you’re thinking about it. Men like this are far more likely to be violent if they think you’re trying to leave them so just keep quiet and carry on as normal. I really hope you get out and get safe without op much waiting for them to find you somewhere to flee to.

Have you been given any advice about your finances? The second you’re out and away, cancel all the direct debits for the household bills and tell your landlord or letting agency that you’ve moved out and your partner is taking on full tenancy and that you want your name removed from the tenancy agreement.

Thinking of you OP- really hope you get a call soon, this is absolutely no way to live x

I am rooting for you too. Good luck. Xxx

Thank you everyone. Today is a good day, DS said mama at me this morning, it’s probably baby babbles but my Mum Brain is telling me he’s speaking and is now a prodigy

Aww that’s wonderful @despairingandunhappy

Your lovely Son will help keep you going

You are being strong and doing amazing!

Any news @despairingandunhappy? Has anywhere become available yet?

Are you ok OP? We are really hoping you don't have to spend another night near that abysmal sub human.

Nothing as of yet! DS has been very entertaining today. Pig is on one as he starts work tomorrow and needs to wash his shoes, the washer is being dodgy. I’m “getting leathered in the morning”

I’ve reported him anonymously on crime stoppers so that if the police come he will think it’s a neighbour and not blame me. He threw chip and kebab meat scraps at me earlier calling me a fat ugly mess etc because I moaned he was buying himself food. I’m 8 stone...fat isn’t the word I’d use

What a horrible man. Have you had any update on accommodation? Hope you can get it sorted soon x

They called about tea time, just to let me know they haven’t forgotten me haha

He starts work? That could be good timing for you - not getting a space today could mean you get time to gather the documents together and take them with you.

And cut the sleeve off every one of his nice shirts. And take his watches etc to sell. Trust me he can't get any more angry or nasty.

I’ve said that, him not being in the house all day opposed to his shift work gives me more time

Yes exactly. Rather than rushing out without what you need you can stroll out with it all. Do you have access to a bank account? Because you could just clean it out and stay in a posh hotel go somewhere temporary with room service and wait.