I’d rather be dead.

[despairingandunhappy]

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

Good luck with your meeting today OP. Every time they ask you a question make a mental note to tel them the precise truth before you answer. I know you’ve got into the habit of protecting him and minimising the abuse but things are at a crisis point for your mental health now so you need to break that habit and get out, they can help you but you need to just tell them exactly how it is. It’ll be hard but do it now and the next time it will be easier.

Thinking of you today, OP.

Be as open and honest as you can with your IDVA. Sadly, there are more people in need than there should be, and they will need to know the full extent of what you are going through so that they can prioritise you for a safe space. They will understand the "buts" too. I hope that you feel heard and supported today.

Thank you, I’m gonna be honest and tell the truth, I have no choice

Well done op, I'm thinking of you and sending you strength.
Be honest, share the load for you and your little one.
You deserve some peace.

Good luck and remember all the actual real people on here who care.

Good luck today OP, thinking of you! Been there and got the t-shirt, you will not regret leaving

Thank you everyone. I must be definitely flustered as a red sock has got in with my white sheet and now it’s pink so I’ve got to listen to him ranting on and on

God. Ranting on and on about one sock in with a sheet. That's just no way to live.

Not for much longer OP. Not for much longer.

We are all standing behind you today OP, you can do this. Write everything down in a note on your phone or on paper and bring it with you to show them in case you get flustered when you're in there. Make sure you tell them everything that way

Thank you. I’ve been everything this morning a fat ugly cunt, a fat slag an ugly bitch. He’s told me he’s gonna knock all my teeth out. It’s not even making me cry anymore. I don’t even know if this is abuse I really don’t know anything

What a horrible nasty pathetic little bully. Good luck today.

My god - sorry I haven’t kept up with the thread but keep a record of all this.

He tells me he’s going to punch the life out of me. Wish he’d just do it and then I’d be free of all this shit

No - have you reported this to the police?

@despairingandunhappy

Thank you. I’ve been everything this morning a fat ugly cunt, a fat slag an ugly bitch. He’s told me he’s gonna knock all my teeth out. It’s not even making me cry anymore. I don’t even know if this is abuse I really don’t know anything

It IS abuse. It's emotional and verbal abuse.

He doesn't realise it but he's done you a favour, allowing it to be fresh in your mind before your meeting. I wish you'd have been able to record it. I really am wishing you all the best for today, please come back and tell us what happened, we all want to know that you're safe and on your path to a better life xx

If you feel threatened by him you can call the police. Is he at home. Pack your bags, get your paperwork together and get set to leave. He is abusing you. Dont try and understand his behaviour.

@despairingandunhappy

He tells me he’s going to punch the life out of me. Wish he’d just do it and then I’d be free of all this shit

What about your baby?

It is abuse love, and not just a little bit either. He's treating you appallingly. Please do be honest with the services that are out there to help you. You can get free of him.

It is serious abuse. I hope you are safe - call the police if not

It is absolutely abuse. So glad you’re seeking help today. Get out of there, safely! X

Thankfully very safe. with DS at the park, thankfully he’s okay and hasn’t been affected just yet.

What time is your appointment today?

Don’t return home if you don’t feel safe. Go to the police station, council offices or a refuge. Possessions can be replaced, your life cannot.

Appointment was helpful they also gave me a piece of toast which tasted like heaven lol!
I qualify not just for a refuge for disperse properties such as NAS accommodation and other homeless units. Thankfully I won’t have to wait long for the place to become available as it could be tonight or even later this afternoon

Omg op well done for that step, you're so so brave. Fingers crossed for you.